Single during pregnancy

[Lookingforadvice101234]

Hi, my partner split up with me early on in my pregnancy but has always maintains he wants to be involved with the baby (I am now late on in my 3rd trimester). However I have navigated most of my pregnancy alone, he hasn’t offered to buy anything or contribute anything, and the only communication I receive from him is when he is drunk (the messages are incoherent and at 4/5am). And I do not respond to these drunk messages. They are never followed up sober by himself.
I wondered if anyone has any advice moving forward regarding coparenting with an individual like this or has been in a similar position. As the time gets closer to my baby being born I find I am getting more and more anxious about this side of things.
TIA

I personally wouldn't tell him when you are in labour and plan to take reliable supportive friends or family with you. Text him after the birth when you feel up for visitors to tell him baby is born and visiting times. Then he can make his decision on how serious he is, as to if he turns up or not or reply to you.
I wouldnt name him on the birth certificate.
After announcing the birth dont make contact with him, if he genuinely cares he will ask about you and his baby, if he doesnt then at least you know early on that he isn't going to be reliable and consistent for the baby but do put in for child maintenance from him so he will have some financial obligations to his baby.
I wouldnt try to force him into a relationship with baby but also leave the door open for him to make the effort but be clear that its all or nothing not as and when being a dad suits him.

I'm sorry, that's a very difficult situation. I would say labour and post partum are very vulnerable times, I would NOT invite his involvement in any way. Don't tell him when you're in labour, don't announce the birth, don't put him on the birth certificate. He knows more or less when the baby is due, leave it in his court and protect yourself as much as possible.

And there is very little coparenting with baby. Baby needs you and cannot be away from you. The only thing he can do is visit. Again, let him initiate visits and, if possible, have another adult at home with you to support you.

And don't force a relationship. If he doesn't want to be a father, he will be nothing but a string of dissapointment to your child anyway. You can't make a man step up, you just can't.

And if he is useless and has a drinking problem, you are better off on your own.

Could you potentially get / hire a doula for support ?