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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

DH is struggling - should we do counselling?

4 replies

Oli16 · 07/07/2025 23:09

DH and me are expecting our first baby in 6 weeks time, he’s just been away for the weekend with some friends camping and has come back today barely speaking and in a foul mood (the car did break down on his journey home, he got back at 2am after being towed back to London so fair enough for tired / grumpiness!)

I asked him if he’s ok as he barely was affectionate or seemed pleased to see me
and he’s not a man of many words, but got quite emotional saying he doesn’t “like anything right now” apart from me. He said he feels “distant” from his friends on his weekend away and really dislikes work. I asked if he is feeling overwhelmed about the baby but he said it’s the only thing he’s looking forward to. He got quite emotional and I haven’t ever seen him cry before in 5 years.

my pregnancy hasn’t been easy and I’ve suffered I think from early antenatal depression, then we had disagreements about the baby’s second surname (resolved now we’re going to double barrel) but we have been bickering a lot recently.

I want us to be better before baby arrives as I know that’s a whole new world
of challenges and we need to be a strong team. Things just feel quite rocky and tense, we both seem unhappy to be honest.

should I look into getting a couples counselling sessions for us both before baby arrives? Feels like we’re perhaps both struggling with our own issues and might be beneficial….

OP posts:
HeddaGarbled · 07/07/2025 23:13

Individual counselling for him, from what you’ve said, or a GP appointment. This is a him issue not a couple issue, I think.

Oli16 · 07/07/2025 23:19

HeddaGarbled · 07/07/2025 23:13

Individual counselling for him, from what you’ve said, or a GP appointment. This is a him issue not a couple issue, I think.

Just to add* I started my own counselling in my first trimester that I still do and will continue to do hopefully after baby arrives. Just wondered if we’re both bickering / having a tense atmosphere between us that couples counselling one or two sessions might help out…

OP posts:
BackOfTheMum5net · 08/07/2025 05:47

He sounds depressed rather than it being a relationship problem, which is what couples counselling would address.

Pennyforyourthoughtsplease · 08/07/2025 05:53

I think you both need counselling, not necessarily couples but it sounds like you've had some issues too. Start planning for extra support when the baby comes as that is likely to add a whole heap of stress, as you'll both be physically and mentally exhausted (and you specifically will have physically gone through alot). Having the first baby is quite overwhelming and men can suffer from PND too

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