My husband and I have been together for nearly 20 years. We have three children together the oldest being 16 and the youngest being 10. We are both 39.
A few years ago we decided we were done with having babies and he booked in for a vasectomy. He ended up cancelling due to the fear of the procedure.
Earlier this year I wanted to stop taking the pill and lower my antidepressants (that I’ve been on for ten years) in the hope that I could be free of it all. I’ve gone from 150mg of antidepressant to 50mg since January and was feeling in a good place. My husband and I were using condoms.
I had a period which lasted one day on 30th May and then we admittedly had sex unprotected on 2nd June. In the middle of the night on Monday I woke up with bad heartburn. The only time I have had heartburn is when I was pregnant and I realised I was late. I did a test the next morning thinking I was doing it to put my mind at ease. It was positive. It was a Clearblue and came up straight away with 2-3 weeks. Then on Thursday I did another and it’s 3+ weeks.
I am booked in with MSI on Thursday. Every logical part of my brain knows this is the right thing but the emotional part of me is distraught. I’m not eating or sleeping. My Husband has been totally supportive but cried at the thought of another and said the thought of another makes him sh!t himself.
I know it’s both of our faults but I feel so so angry with him that I have to go through this because he was scared of a vasectomy. I feel like I don’t want to be near him and don’t know if our relationship can recover from the aftermath this will bring.
Has anyone else been through this and tell me whether it gets any easier?