2nd child due very soon! - starting to feel guilt and mixed emotions with my first born

[Motherof1and2dogs]

I don’t really know how to explain this and I feel so awful for what I am about to say but I would love some advice or support from other mums who have felt similar to how I am feeling if possible please…

I am starting to feel extreme guilt that my first born is no longer going to be an only child. I feel very emotional that it’s not just going to be our little family of 3, that it won’t just be me and him any more most days. I feel like I am grieving something, and I know am extremely lucky and so grateful that I am having another baby, I never wanted just one child anyway but I am starting to feel really upset by the whole thing. It’s really hard to explain, it’s like regret almost but at the same time so excited to meet my little girl! I’m anxious, excited, nervous, worried about how my son will be with her, if it will upset him, change of routine, I just feel very overwhelmed and emotional. I keep looking at my son and getting like a lump in my throat. These feelings and emotions are scaring me so much and I don’t know how to deal with it.

I think it’s normal to feel like that.
I’m due my second soon too and have noticed that my 2 year old has become a lot more affectionate and nice to me recently so he definitely can tell something is happening. He usually tried to avoid cuddles but now keeps asking for them, so that’s making me a feel a bit nervous for when the baby is here that he’ll feel pushed out when I can’t always just give him a big cuddle.
But, remember that you’re not doing anything bad. It’ll just be an adjustment and millions of people have younger siblings and no negative impact or memory of things changing etc.

Not quite where you are but we’re just stating TTC our second and I feel exactly the same! We have such a nice relationship the three of us, and particularly my LO loves spending time with me, and I’m so worried a baby will ruin our bond!

So, my post is really just to say your feelings are completely normal I think.

I keep focusing on the long term, and I know that in a few years having a sibling will (hopefully!) be a big positive

I feel the same and I remember reading a post earlier this year of someone else saying the exact same thing! It's quite reassuring to see that others feel this way as I've felt a bit mad! I've concluded that this is one of many normal ways to feel and that we aren't silly or terrible for having these thoughts and feelings. I'm sure we'll adjust when our babies come along and of course it's always ok to talk to midwife/perinatal mental health if feelings persist and are distressing.❤xxx

I had two under two OP so my oldest was still very much a baby in my eyes when her sister came along. I had so many teary/guilty moments throughout my pregnancy, especially just before my elective C-section and that final story time the night before it. 🥲 My midwife said to me “Many of us had a sibling close in age and we all survived and turned out okay.” This helped me realise I was being a bit ridiculous and hormonal and I channelled it into making amazing memories with my oldest during my second pregnancy. She is an amazing big sister, they have a wonderful bond and I promise you that the tears you’ll have when you see them together will be worth it! Congratulations!