Pregnant 6 months after C section 3rd baby...

[jos118]

Hi everyone, I had my 2nd baby 6 months ago. Postpartum has been amazing I actually thought this week bloody hell I am so happy and settled! We've been using condoms, quite successfully I thought, only one mishap which I thought ahh will be fine nowhere near ovulating- what an idiot. In all honesty, we haven't actually done it much at all since 2nd has been born. I just cannot believe this has happened. I also had a c section. I'm so worried about this as it's so not recommended.

Did a test yesterday and it was straightaway positive. I felt so upset and panicked immediately. DH was shocked but has immediately made a plan. Unlike me who's just cried and moped all day. He's more than happy to have a 3rd but will support me.

But that's it, I don't even think I could get a termination. I had one when I was younger but I don't know I'm just really struggling now. I'm so pro choice but I'm having trouble not judging myself like crazy.

Feel awful for my kids. We can still have a good life but just 2 would've been a better life for them. My poor baby who will only be 14 months when baby arrives. I'm just so sad. Yet part of me wants the baby and I'm already scared of the pregnancy going wrong. But then bricking it at the same time and don't know what to do. I've never felt confusion like it.
What the hell do I do. I was so happy and content with 2. Now I feel like I'm going to be desperately trying to stay afloat for the next 5 years.

Please don't give me shit- I feel bad enough and I'm not sure I can take it today ☹️

@jos118 sorry you’re feeling like this. I’m pregnant with a 3rd and even though it was planned, I panicked as soon as the test was positive and now keep thinking how much better/easier life would be with just the two (4 and 2 year old). So I can imagine you’re feeling even more in shock due to it being unplanned. On the other hand, it’s not like you got yourself in this position on purpose, so you shouldn’t blame yourself! Maybe this baby is meant to be? I also don’t think I could have a termination so we continue and hope it will get better. Good luck!

Two viewpoints: a) Every time any woman becomes pregnant, she has a 'duty' to stay pregnant and give birth, again and again and again. This is the best and only 'correct' thing to do, no matter if it smashes the options for happiness, for her, her partner, and every one of the increasing tribe of offspring.

Or, b) A knife-free, quick vasectomy will ensure all playing and frolicking is risk-free, for the rest of a couple's life. Meanwhile, a pill delivered by post will return happiness and hope, for an entire family, by stopping further development of what is still only a tiny cluster of cells. That cluster could in any case, as so often in nature, have stopped itself from developing any further. Spontanious termination is frequently the body's way of expelling a pregnancy which is failing to thrive, which is a possibility any time, for any woman, let alone a woman with a recent c section.

Had an emcs with first DD and pregnant with second 9months later all was fine with second pregnancy no issues at all, had another emcs with DS who just turned 2 and currently expecting 3rd baby hopefully all works out for you but close c sections are fine.

Please do talk to your midwife and consider a planned section for this baby. Your section scar could be a weak spot.

Had a good chat about it and Husband said tonight that a termination is probably best. Has lots of valid reasons. I can't make my mind up and don't think I ever will. I haven't got it in me to pick one or the other, So I think that's it. I'm just numb really. I wish this had never happened and I'll truly hate myself forever. I don't think I'll ever come back from this

When I had my C-section(s) I was told to wait 18 months, and I was pregnant again when my child turned 2. Although there weren’t any complications, my scar hurt whenever my baby kicked and by 6 months pregnant it was so bad I honestly thought the baby was going to kick it’s way out through the scar. So I would be cautious.
Im sorry you are in this position. Only you can decide what is best for you.

If this is how you feel I don't think you should go for a termination. It sounds like it's really not what you want.

I can't see another way out. I feel truly incapable of making the decision so feel like at least my husband has thought it out. I do think I'll live to regret it but logistically I don't think it's possible. Pregnancy makes my mental health horrific, we'll be skint. My poor babies don't deserve this, I've worked so hard to get to where I am now. Yet I feel like it's all been undone in a matter of days. I truly don't think I'll ever get over this. I'll punish myself forever that I even let this happen

I had 15 months between 1 and 2, it was lovely, my favourite gap. I also had all mine by c section, I had 4 sections in 6 years. So it can all work out x

I'll punish myself forever that I even let this happen
You haven't done anything wrong OP. You have nothing to punish yourself for. Please take care of yourself. Don't do something you don't want to do.

If you will punish yourself forever I think a termination is not the correct route for you.

Can you make a third work?

Filled in the BPAS booking form last night when I thought my mind was made up. They called me and left a voicemail as I was busy with the baby. My heart sunk as soon as I heard the voicemail. We've decided to go ahead with the pregnancy. I'm terrified but know we'll love this little baby just as much as our other 2. We both seem much happier about this decision. I am absolutely bricking it though. 3 under 4, with 2 being under 2. I hope I'm strong enough to get through this..

That sounds like the right decision for you. You will do brilliantly I am sure.