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To move near my sister

7 replies

DMBZ1985 · 18/06/2025 23:51

Hello! Would love some advice if anyone has thoughts.
I'm pregnant, due later this year. My husband and I are keen to move house, we are in a tiny flat atm and want a bit more space. We love Chiswick, where my sister lives. I'm really close to her, although we don't see eachother that often as I currently live on the other side of London.
I'm a bit concerned that my sister might be worried about us moving so close by. She loves us both, but because we are expecting, our wider families will visit more often and I suspect she's worried she'll be roped into more family stuff than she's comfortable with (my family are quite full on and there's a bit of a cultural expectation that if they come to see you, you make time and space to be with them).
She hasn't said this, I'm just guessing. My husband thinks we have to make the decision that's best for us, and my sister will be fine. I think I should ask her, and see if my suspicions are right. I don't want to upset her equilibrium, she's built a really nice life for herself. I also wander though if I've got my priorities wrong, and should just go with what my husband is saying. What would you do? Thank you!
Ps should add, my sister has a really full on job and social life so we are in no way expecting any help with childcare, and that's not part of the reason for the move

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Bobbie12345678 · 19/06/2025 05:32

I think you are right to be careful. If your sister has moved a bit away to get some space and then you bring the whole family to her doorstep it would be reasonable if she was upset.
London is a big place. Is there really nowhere else you could find?
I think you should ask her and then be prepared to listen to her answer.
If you value your relationship with her, then you should not just listen to your husband. It sounds like you know he is wrong.

numberonepartyanthem · 19/06/2025 05:38

i Don’t know your sister but I’m sure she would be over the moon to have you nearby

whynotmereally · 19/06/2025 06:35

I’d ask and if she shows any hint of a issue look elsewhere

DonewhatIcando · 19/06/2025 07:35

My dsis's and I all live near each other, they didn't ask me when they moved here, I was here first 😁
One dsis lives literally around the corner, rarely see her as we both have full lives but phone and text all the time, no awkwardness, if I don't physically set eyes on her for 2 weeks that would be normal. This dsis does actually prefer her space so we respect that.
Another dsis live a three minute drive away, same scenario as my other dsis, phone, text etc but I do actually see this dsis more than the other one.
We are close, love each other, helped each other out with support, money, looked after each other's dc when they were young etc.
As there's a cultural element to your question, I'd ask your dsis what she thinks and respect her answer.
My dsis who likes her space would not be happy if I inflicted all our relatives on her 😂

WarmthAndDepth · 19/06/2025 07:38

No advice, but you sound so lovely and considerate. Your sister is lucky to have you irrespective of where you live.

CaptainFuture · 19/06/2025 07:41

She loves us both, but because we are expecting, our wider families will visit more often and I suspect she's worried she'll be roped into more family stuff than she's comfortable with (my family are quite full on and there's a bit of a cultural expectation that if they come to see you, you make time and space to be with them).
How far away are family? Would she be expected to open up her house to host/accommodate on visits?

DMBZ1985 · 19/06/2025 07:51

Thank you everyone! I just asked her, and all is well, I'm so so glad I asked! Thank you! (@CaptainFuture no as they would stay with us, thankfully!)

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