I don’t understand myself at this point

[Bolakik]

Hello everyone, I’m currently 35 weeks pregnant and ever since i got to know I’m pregnant it been everyday anxiety.. I’ve had losses in past and this is my first baby, before i got pregnant I was on antidepressants and beta blockers which i stopped immediately i found out i was pregnant. I was referred to the mental health team when I was 19 weeks but no one got back to me, ever since I got pregnant it been one anxiety to another, my first trimester i had so much anxiety about miscarriage, my second trimester i had so much anxiety about preterm labour and infection, now i think things seems to be worse because I’m basically scared of everything, I’m scared of eating so as not to contact food poisoning especially listeria, I’m so germaphobic to the extent that i wash my hand till it feels numb, I wipe everywhere with soap and sanitizer every now and then because of infection, its worse when i need to take my prenatal vitamins i wash my hands for long minutes because i feel my hands will contaminate the medication. Today i forgot to reheat my meat after 3 hours (which is so unlike me) and i ate it now I can’t stop worrying about listeria.. my husband is so worried because he thinks i have OCD and i also feel helpless.. I really don’t know what to do because i already asked for help from my GP and hospital but nothing seems to come forth.. (kindly ignore my typographical errors)

And can I add this one, i dread going out now especially with public transport or cab because the last i entered a cab the car reeked of cigarette which set my anxiety off the roof making me think I might harm my baby with that much carbon monoxide, now my husband has to take me everywhere because I can’t drive. I don’t know how to stop being paranoid

You need to speak to your midwifery team about how you feel and make it clear you’re concerned about mental health post birth. You need to do this today. You need to chase up the mental health team, you need support immediately so that things don’t escalate postpartum. I’m not trying to scare you, but you need to be really proactive now. You’re struggling already and post birth hormones will make things so much more intense (not necessarily worse but more intense) and you need support. Tell them everything in detail and maybe take your husband with you to the appointment so he can testify as to how intense your ocd and anxiety rituals are currently.

you can get through this. But you need to be brave and chase it up now.

Oh love, that sounds really, really hard. Honestly I think the best thing you can do is go back to your GP/health visitor and absolutely insist (or have your husband insist for you, if you need back up) that you need more support, making it clear that the perinatal mental health team haven’t followed up despite your attempts to move forward. Outline for them exactly what you have here and reiterate that you need support before baby gets here, not after. It’s awful that you were referred and no one followed up - I’m so sorry. I think it’s really brave to be able to recognize when you need help.

Really hope things start to feel easier soon, and that they get the help you need in place quickly this time

Tell them you were referred and heard nothing from the mental health team and you’re disappointed to have been left to struggle through pregnancy with all these mental health issues alone, I am so sorry you’ve been let down so badly

I agree, go back to your midwife and your GP, and explain how you feel. Keep contacting them, they are there to help you.

Please remember babies are tough little things and the human body is incredibly developed to protect them during pregnancy. People have babies in wars and very basic conditions, and the human race has thrived.

Congratulations on your pregnancy. 😊

Call your midwife today OP

@Bolakik Just wanted to say that you aren't alone, OP - my main symptom this pregnancy has been anxiety about everything and OCD. Microplastics, asbestos, SIDS, sunburn, climate change, health anxiety, worrying my DH will drop dead, cigarette smoke, listeria...you name it, I've had a panic attack about it. It's so hard, and so lonely, and so scary. ❤️ But you aren't alone.

I also went to midwife for help and got lost in the system for 3 months before I went to GP when I couldn't take anymore. GP suggested I try medication and referred me to CBT. I slipped the meds (enough experience to know that I don't want to go through that when I'm pregnant as it was a nightmare last time) and did the CBT and things are better and definitely more manageable.

Go back to your GP today. Tell them exactly what you've told us. The worry is doing you more harm than good and your well-being is totally shot. You need mental rest, calm, and peace, and you deserve to be happy. Good luck 🍀