Hi.
For background, I am 35 and have three children (aged between 8 and 13) from a previous relationship. The children live with me full time and spend every other weekend with their dad (Friday-Sunday)
I separated from their dad six years ago and completely turned my life around after years of being in an unhealthy relationship. I had been a stay at home mum, completely lost myself, had no money. I went back to university, trained for a professional qualification, secured a stable, well paid job. I’ve also met my current partner. He has two children (6 and 9). He has shared care of his children (50:50). We moved into his house and are in the process of building an extension so each child will have their own room. All of the children get on well and we do a lot with them all - days out and holidays. My partner has been a great role model to my three children. We both work full time, and life is very busy.
we have always said it would have been nice to have a child together, however given we have five between us, we have always said we would enjoy what we have together. We have every other weekend where the children are with the other parent so we will often go away for the weekend either the uk or abroad and really cherish that time we get together.
we were shocked last week to find I am pregnant. I am on the pill but did not have a bleed on my pill free week, so I did a test which was positive.
initially I was shocked and in denial. At first he seemed eager to go ahead with the pregnancy, kept saying we was lucky and spoke positively about the future. I think his reaction helped me to start coming around to the idea, however he told me a couple of days ago that he has been thinking that it may be for the best if we have a termination - he is worried about the financial impact - needing a bigger car, in the process of the extension. He is worried about the impact on the children we already have. He is also worried that we have just started to get our lives back, in terms of the weekends we share together when we don’t have the children and we will lose that.
i have told him I need some time to think things through, and he is being supportive. However, since we had this chat I’m struggling to see any positive in continuing with the pregnancy. I feel guilty on our current children. Worried how our lives will change. But I do not think I can go through with a termination. I know I need to make a decision but I am struggling and feel so down. I can’t think clearly to make such a life changing decision.
Has anyone been through similar?
I feel guilty for feeling like I do when I know so many people struggle to have a baby.