C section advise if anyone has had one please !!

[littleweedandherflowers]

Did it really hurt just walking around after ? I’m on about 2 days after ?
mu partner is making me feel like I’ve just gone and brought the baby home from Tesco ! I’m in so much pain ! Last night was first night home I couldn’t get upstairs so slept downstairs on the sofa with our little baby, dp slept upstairs and didn’t once come downstairs to see if I needed anything in the night then came down at 8 and said oh sorry I overslept !
he’s taken dd to her after school activity and when he came home I saw him helping his step dad up the path whilst his mum jollied up the path ( she could have helped him ) yet he stands there and watches me struggle to walk to the loo! Or half heartily holds his hand out like he doesn’t really care whether he helps or not !
not sure if I’m being a baby but to watch him help his step dad whilst I have struggled to even sit up in the night whilst he sleeps has really got to me ! I mean I could be feeling baby blues already and over reacting !

You’re not overreacting

you’ve had major abdominal surgery and are caring for a newborn

the fact he left you on the sofa all night with no help speaks volumes

I would give him an ultimatum

What kind of painkillers do you have? It’s so important to keep on top of your meds and to get some proper painkillers if you need them, not just paracetamol!

I’m on dicnefenac and paracetamol xx

Hi, Ive had two, an emergency and a planned. I was worse after the planned one, I remember being really sore and having to do everything really slowly.
Can you ask him for help? Explain the pain you’re in? Are you taking the painkillers you’ve been given? I needed help remembering it all as you’ve also got a tiny human to care for whose needs are endless.
Hope you’re feeling better soon, and if not make sure you tell a midwife or ring hospital.

I can relate. I gad a Cs. Dh slept in the other room. Just actually getting up from a lying position was incredibly painful. But I had no choice.

I'm now divorced 😀

Of course you're not over-reacting -- forget the baby, you've just had major abdominal surgery, and you came home from that surgery with a demanding tiny new human who is deeply unimpressed with no longer being in your womb and can't communicate except via crying! Keep on top of your painkillers, ask for and take all possible help, don't go up or downstairs if you can avoid it for a bit, and the worst pain (in my memory) was getting up from a low seat or bed. I remember wondering how fast they would deliver if I ordered one of those chairs you see at the back of Sunday supplements, that gradually tilts you into an upright position...

You need to take proper painkillers every four hours for a period of time. You need to get on top of the pain and keep on top of it. It’s major abdominal surgery. You’re not over reacting. I’m so sorry that your partner isn’t being supportive. It’s a shame he didn’t educate himself before you had the section so he would know how to look after you. Congratulations on your baby. Hope you’re soon feeling better. If I were you I would let your partner read this thread. I would also explain to him how his rubbish behaviour makes you feel. As it stands he should be doing everything in the house and as much as he can with the baby. He should be supporting you through this, not making you feel worse.

It is super painful!! You need to rest as much as possible. I felt ok for a walk at 2 weeks and I was so desperate to get out the house but I completely overdid it and wasn't able to get out properly again until 6 weeks. I hope your partner can come to understand how painful this is, sometimes they just don't seem to get it

Yes it’s really painful for a few days, I’ve had four. I did find the more I moved around, the easier it got though.

It is incredibly painful. If hurt to even cough! Always had to hold my tummy. Dh helped me to the toilet the first few days, I did not even do a nappy change for the first 4 days! What a POS your dp is. This is major surgery. You need to be resting and recovering. Could be wrong but I was given morphine I think every few hours for the first day or two and sent home with very strong meds.

It’s major abdominal surgery cutting through 7 layers to get your baby out.
he needs to seriously buck his ideas up and realise how serious the surgery you just had was!

Yes it's so painful. My son ended up in the neonatal unit and a nurse took me down to visit in a wheelchair. I was then forgotten about and couldn't get anyone's attention for help to go back to my bed in the ward. When I eventually got help (wasn't a nurse, perhaps some kind of healthcare assistant) she basically scoffed at me and told me it's ridiculous, what did I mean I couldn't get up and walk back?! Well I wasn't sitting there for fun in my sleep deprived state, I genuinely was unable to stand up and cross the room unsupported.

Interestingly, my DH was having a chat with an older man at work who commented he doesn't understand why dads need to be off on paternity when their wife is off. After a fairly traumatic birth, emergency C-section and a prolonged hospital stay, I can honestly say I've never needed my husband more than I did those first few weeks after my CS. You should absolutely be resting and don't feel shy about asking for help, your body has gone through a massive change.

Well now I feel even more utter shit I told him how I felt and you know he’s tried to help and it’s not like that not his fault I feel this way ! We’ve had visitors today all day and he’s okayed the doting partner sitting next to me jumping in the seat next to me any time someone moves always in the room but the minute kids are in bed and everyone not here he’s off out in the kitchen tidying up or making food doesn’t bother to sit and be that couple who’s just had a baby having that what’s meant to be special time together !

I had an ELCS a week ago. I think I'm recovering quickly, but I am still in a degree of pain. Sitting/standing up is still tricky. I had my dressing off after 5 days and since then I've been in a little more pain with the wound being exposed and stinging. Please keep on top of your pain meds - I didn't on day 1 at home and I was in agony. Following a schedule on day 2 made the world of difference. Once your prescription meds run out, alternate with paracetamol and ibuprofen. Try to move around as much as you can, it's really helping me.

Your DH is an idiot who should be doing everything for you. My DH is in charge of everything in the household currently except for feeding, as I'm EBF. I cannot believe you were left to sleep on the sofa on your first night home, that's disgraceful. He needs to do all domestic tasks as well as ensuring you have plenty of time to shower and eat properly. I'd be seriously questioning the relationship after this tbh.

You aren't overreacting at all. I could barely move after my emergency C-section. I couldn't bend over to pick our son up, I struggled even putting my knickers on! My husband was running around after me for a couple of weeks, helping me get into the shower, picking up our son so I could feed him etc. Your husband is clearly clueless. I'm afraid you need to spell it out to him! Tell him, you've had a C-section, which is classed as major surgery - you need help from him, to do every day tasks, and will do for a couple of weeks. He needs to step up big time.

I was in significant pain for several weeks after both of my sections.

call your GP in the morning and adk
doe stronger pain killers.

I didn't have pain after my cs and was fine to look after the dc alone. And even I know that your dh is being an utter cock. It doesn't really matter how anybody else experienced it; it IS major surgery and that means a recovery period which differs for each woman. And if the person you love enough to commit to and raise children with is in pain and asking for help, then you bloody provide it. What does he mean 'not his fault'. Nobody said it is but his family is his responsibility and I'm baffled that he doesn't want to look after his wife and child when he is needed. What a disgrace he is.

So today proved it ! No one here to witness it and he sat and watched me walk to the loo in absolute agony and only when I got to the bathroom door did he say “ do you want a hand and are you okay? “

Since being home he’s not once cuddled or even touched me ( and I don’t mean in a sexual way ) nothing ! I’ve had the after pains in my back and belly no rub on the back to help soothe or anything !

yesterday when his mum was here he was straight up trying to help me out the loo! In the hospital he made sure he kissed me good night before he left and in theatre but nothing since we’ve been home ! So clearly he does it for show maybe !
sorry to post again I’m in that newborn bubble that I absolutely love but I’ve really questioned whether I can stay with him after this x

Told him how I felt and I’ve had a string of messages how it’s all my fault I’m just looking for an argument and then he sent me this ….

.

Although they say 6 weeks it took 10 for me to drive again. Walking was a no no for a good fortnight (I mean more than around the house). As pps have said, it's major abdominal surgery!

Yeah and he can fuck the fuck off

Does he not understand that a personality transplant would be easier than birthing a child? He sounds awful. My heart truly goes out to you at this time, you are in a vulnerable state and the person that co-created with you and in turn responsible for you at this time is acting like a complete and utter POS. I’d be getting my ducks in a row ready to bolt as soon as my healing is completed.

How a person shows up for you when you are down is truly a signifier of their true love and care for you. Especially when you are down because you brought his child into the world safely.

I had an emergency C-Section and they saved my baby! We were in hospital for 10 days.

My DH had 2 weeks paternity then took 2 weeks unpaid leave and he looked after our newborn and me. We had zero help due to lockdown restrictions.

He literally did not let me get up unnecessarily so I am shocked to hear what you are having to deal with.

Has DH always been like this?

Lu x

Had 2 CSs and I was drugged to the hilt afterwards so didn’t feel as if I’d been run over by a bus but I was deliberately very slow knowing they’d cut through 7 layers of skin to get the baby out. My now STBxH was an absolute gem and I barely did any lifting while he was home. You need to sit your husband down and spell things out to him re: what you’re going through. There are lots of videos on YouTube on csections and it might help him watch one or two for him to realise what a big fucking deal having a CS is. Talk, talk and talk some more until everyone around you gets that you need help.