How to get through this?

[firsttimemum99x]

I’m currently pregnant again after suffering 3 miscarriages, one at 11 weeks in 2019 before I fell pregnant with my son, one in 2023 (technically more of a chemical pregnancy) and my latest one being in January earlier this year at around 6.5 weeks pregnant.

I have an amazing, beautiful son who’s almost 5 who I feel so incredibly blessed to have.

I’m only 4 weeks + 3 days pregnant and I honestly don’t know how to just relax 😢 every single time I go for a wee, I have to take a breath before I wipe because I’m worried I’ll be bleeding again, I feel like I can’t find any enjoyment or peace in this pregnancy because I’m just convinced I’ll miscarry again.

I’m on progesterone pessaries twice a day but god every day feels like it’s lasting forever! The end of this first trimester feels so incredibly far away, how do I get through this?

Anyone who’s had miscarriages/recurrent miscarriages got any helpful advice or insight?

I think with my first miscarriage I just assumed I’d be fine next time as it was a ‘one off’, again with my chemical - SO many women have them and I thought it was just a coincidence, but having a 3rd miscarriage this year has really tipped me over the edge in terms of worry. I just can’t imagine that I’ll be lucky enough to actually have a baby at the end of this? 🥺 doesn’t help that two of the moms of friends with on the school run have announced their pregnancies, so I can’t even escape the pregnancy talk twice a day when I’m trying to take my mind off it! 🙈

I’d focus on the facts of the present. You ARE currently pregnant. You are.

Then I’d distract myself because the last thing your body needs is stress!

I hadn’t had a miscarriage but when I finally got pregnant I had the same wiping fears as you and told myself “the 12 week thing is dumb. If you lose the baby at 12+1 or 6 weeks, it’s not going to hurt any less”. So, really you’ve got a 40 week wait, and then what if there’s an earthquake and everyone in the hospital perishes etc etc etc. See, it never ends. So, please, focus on the present facts!

And congratulations!

@firsttimemum99xa big handhold from me. I’m in a very similar situation. I’ve got two children who both took a long time to conceive (16 months and 12 months respectively) and so I’d always thought my issue was getting pregnant, not staying pregnant. I had a CP before DD2 but just put it down to being one of those things. Then I fell unexpectedly pregnant in March 2022 whilst on the pill (albeit I’d been a bit flaky about taking it on time). We’d just had the chance to get our head round things when boom -five days later I lost it. I put it down as a one off, started TTC properly, had a CP again in November 2023, then finally fell pregnant 3 years after the first miscarriage. That seemed unbelievable enough, but then, right on the third anniversary of my MC, I miscarried again, at just under 6 weeks. Then, in May I had those two lines again. Absolutely astounded, it’s never been this quick to fall pregnant before, but I’ve been so incredibly nervous this time, as I just can’t believe it will be a happy ending. But I’m now 6+4, taking things day by day, and have been focusing on getting past the small milestones- AF date, seeing progressing on different sensitivity tests and CB digi weeks indicators, getting past where I was last time. Now I’m just impatiently waiting for my booking appt and scan date to come through. Good luck and keeping talking - we’re in this together!

I had five mc’s between my eldest and my twins. I remember that despair and anxiety. Tbh, being pregnant makes everyone feel helpless in one way or another. We are used to autonomy and then we are responsible for a baby growing inside us in an environment we can’t control. People tend to minimize our fears to make your experience easier for THEM to cope with. Lean on your partner and the family and friends who are there for you. Speak to your GP about counselling too. They may have adv to meditation/relaxation to help as well. Best of luck with your baby, and congratulations.

Sending you lots of love ! I am looking for some too, positive tests 9&10dpo today. I have had 2 CP and a MMC in the last 12 months. I have tested early so I can get the progesterone otherwise I wouldn’t have done it. I am a wreck so I can’t offer any advise but here right with you x