Pre Natal depression

[WarrenD]

i am looking for advice on how to look after my partner, who is what I think suffering from pre natal depression. Since becoming pregnant, and more so now in the end of the second trimester, having waves of sadness. None of the friends she has mentioned this too saying “ I’m struggling with the pregnancy hormones” have offered any advice or followed up with her. She feels alone in this and I feel useless. I’m trying to find ways to help her through these times but I am not a mother who has been through it and can offer advice. Hence seeking that here. If anyone has suffered with this, could you help with some advice on how you felt with it successfully and words of encouragement to my partner. Thank you in advance

I just wanted to say what a caring partner you are. I had PND and had quite a bad experience with support from my partner (he ended up losing interest and had an affair when our LO was 4 weeks old!)

My biggest thing was getting my partner to listen and just wanting to have a cry when I was having a bad day. He would feel helpless, but that would come out in anger. Just a cuddle or something would have made all the difference, reassuring her what an amazing job she's doing and how you will be there if she needs anything.

Security was massive for me and if I'd have had a safe space to have healed it would have helped my journey massively.

Agree with above - just listen and give her space to talk. Try not to try and find solutions and “fix” anything.

Do as much day-to-day stuff as possible to minimise her mental load. It’s all so overwhelming that at least make sure the house/cooking/other kids/pets/plans are sorted without any input from her. Just get things done and don’t ask questions - decision fatigue is real. If she’s suffering from Pre-Natal Depression, you should be doing 100% of whatever needs doing right now.

Make sure she has spoken to her midwife. If it’s a while in between appointments then encourage her to ring up now, not wait.