Feeling Unsure at 42 and 6 Weeks Pregnant…Need Advice

[Babibel]

I'm 42 years old, have a 7-year-old child, and I’m an artist who values freedom and creative projects. I’m currently 6 weeks pregnant and feeling unsure about what to do. I now don't feel good about having a baby. However, it wasn't an accident. Now I'm wondering if I just wanted to find out if I’m fertile...

Having one more child might make me feel even more alienated. I’ve been feeling the desire to travel and try new things. Am I spoiled? What to do!?

I created a new thread in order to get more answers…🌷🌷🌷

@Babibel only you can answer this, I'm 42 in August, husband recently brought up having another our DD is 24. I couldn't do it now.

Hey OP, I'm sorry to hear you're struggling 💕

Needless to say it's 100% your choice so nobody should look to talk you into or out of anything.

You mention the pregnancy wasn't an accident, so it may be good to try to work out whether your feelings are based on nerves now that it's happened, or do reflect how you feel. Do you remember your reasons and how you felt about trying to get pregnant in the first place? Xx

Thank you so much for your reply. I think what I really wanted to know was whether I was capable of getting pregnant. Lately, I’ve become obsessed with toddlers. Watching my 7-year-old grow into a big boy has made me nostalgic for the toddler years. I’ve never missed being pregnant, having a newborn, or even the idea of having two kids.

I believe social media has played a role—seeing my 35-year-old friends having babies and the idea of giving my son a sibling. However, all of these feelings disappeared about a month ago, just before I found out I was pregnant. I don’t think it’s directly related to the pregnancy, but suddenly I just wanted to have one child and a pet. 😅

Now, I find myself thinking, “Oh no, my life is over if I have a second child.”

If it's not an accident, how does your partner feel about everything? Would your relationship survive an abortion?

If you value freedom, travel, and creative projects then you’re right that those will be curtailed for at least a few more years if you have a second child. It doesn’t mean it’s impossible though, if you have a supportive partner and/or the financial means for support.

You have some time before you need to make a decision so maybe sit with it awhile longer and see what your intuition and heart say. Forget about what you ‘should’ or ‘ought’ to do or how anyone else feels or might react and the answer will become clear to you. Maybe some journaling will help you sort through the pros and cons?

My partner will go with the flow. We kind of have problems already and he think a baby can help us (which I think is completely wrong!).
but otherwise he will accept my decision

I'm 41 and pregnant (36 weeks) and have a 7 year old. I found the pregnancy easier than when I was 33! I am a bit worried that being older I will struggle with tiredness etc. But I have a very involved/eager to do things husband. If you've been having problems surely he knows the lack of sleep/lack of sex that follows a baby isn't going to help it?

Should have put in obviously your absolute choice and you have a few weeks to think about it before you have to decide.

Baby absolutely won't help your relationship. Strong relationships get stronger, weaker ones crumble. So I'm with you there.

I’ve been feeling the desire to travel and try new things

How much of this is feasible anyway as you already have a fairly young DC? Can you do these things now and a baby will put a halt to that or is this something you wish to do in the future when your current DC is older and a baby will delay it?

I felt quite cold and detached from my pregnancy during the first trimester with my second. It settled once I was in the second trimester. Took me by surprise though. It was very much a planned pregnancy. If you felt positive about it until the hormones kicked in, then just give yourself time.

I had my second child at 42. It just didn't happen before so she was planned. I'm an older mum so though I don't think it's a walk in the park, it's very much doable.
I had my first child at 40.