Abortion at 8 weeks shall or not

[sunflower113]

So hey ladies it’s amazing really I’ve found my self here for advice from complete strangers I’ve realised why because I need comfort understanding from a woman who’s been in this situation

so I’m currently a mum too 3 girls and I’m a super mum you know one of those mums who really gives it there all my husband is a business man constantly working of what I’m grateful for he offers us a beautiful life .. traditional roles in this house and it works for us …

but I’m a mum already my girls are 10 4 2 best thing that’s ever happened to me and from the experience I always thought I wanted more kids untill I didn’t see it but my two year old was finally settled she was happy and I was that little bit free I had no time for
my self really but I felt like me again and boom we fall pregnant yes I’m not on birth control but I don’t know how must of ovulated the wrong day

now I know it’s sounds ungrateful but I’m so grateful that my body has blessed me again but I have all these crazy feelings I dnt
know if I want too do it all again a 4th cestion I’m terrified of this also I’m scared of not being present for the others my eldest and I have such a bond she needs me now if you get me

they all do I’m every morning school run after school clubs and I just think wow will I really be able too do it

but mainly do I want too again ?

because I loved being a mum so much I thought I would again and I feel like maybe I finally pushed my brain in too capacity and every one else will suffer

please help me I’ve spoken too a dr about a abortion pull it’s now just making that decision I just need some support please xxx

You’d recover from your c section and the bonds you have with your children will thrive. You need to be honest and choose whether you want a 4 th child rather then look for excuses that if I had it I’d have a c section and the impact will be ABC.

How does your DH feel about a fourth child ? Have you discussed it with him ? He needs to be 100% on board for it to work and you haven’t mentioned him in the context of his feelings about this. Could you cope if the child were to be ND / have other health issues ? Your life works well at the moment with your 3 children what impact would a 4th have on this ? Is your home big enough ? Would you need a larger car ? While life is comfortable now would it be with a 4th ? Sorry if this is all practical “stuff” but you do need to consider this seriously as part of the debate not just feelings as changes in circumstances / financial pressure can soon change what is currently a great home life and situation.

Not an easy decision but in your shoes I would be speaking to my DH asap ( you haven’t mentioned his view) and if you feel you can’t do this then I think you have your answer.

Hey ladies i greatly appreciate your messages

my husband is a working husband he’s fantastic and will support me through any decision as it me that mainly raising the kids I couldn’t praise him enough for the life he offers us all money isn’t an issue we have a big house I have a 7 seater car so it’s on this front

it’s a different emotion I’m struggling with …

im a struggling with if I can do it again .. and I’m terrified too have a 4th c section im scared and I feel anxiously about it im scared of not being there for my girls i dont think i valued my health untill i got pregnant again and had too have the thought of having a 4th c section

then on the flip side I’m worried if I can do the nights again I’m one of them mums that I know I can do it but it’s also for the first time in 10 years I felt like I had my ahit together and I feel so lost if I’m making a decision where I’m going too loose my self emotionally
and I’m scared of this too

I would book the appointment and see how you feel once it's booked/on the day. Hopefully having the option will allow you clarity if that makes sense and how you feel after booking it could help you decide how you really feel about it.

It's ok to want a 4th and if you go ahead hopefully there will be support in place to help . However, it's also ok to want to be more than just someone's mum and to continue working on being you now your children are getting older.

If you are looking for permission not to go ahead with the pregnancy then you have it. It reads like you would prefer not to have another child and are looking to justify it. You owe nobody an explanation and another child has a right to be wanted if it is to thrive. Please however consider carefully that you will be able to live with your decision once you have made it, either way.

I've got 4 DC
I always found 3 was an odd number, having 4 worked well for us .
Going from one to two was the hardest,going from 3 to 4 , didn't make a difference,I knew what I was doing,I was confident in my ability,and it was a breeze.
Personally I'd never terminate,but plenty of people do ,
You just need to decide what's best for you x

Do what's right for you. At the end of the day, it's your life that will be impacted by having a 4th child, and you don't need to justify the decision either way.

As everyone else has said, this is entirely YOUR choice. But this sentence is telling for me:

but it’s also for the first time in 10 years I felt like I had my ahit together

I think whether or not you want a 4th child, you don't sound like you are ready to have one NOW. So you could choose to go ahead with it, and will probably be perfectly happy with that decision long term, but it will involve a significant emotional and mental shift for you. Or you can choose not to have another child at this time to protect your own happiness and mental health and emotional well being. And you might then decide you DO want another child down the line, and that's okay too.

You shouldn’t use abortion as birth control.
If you don’t want or aren’t sure about another baby you need to be on contraception.

You can get pregnant on the days around ovulation, 6 days a month I think so you really need to be a lot more careful if you don't want more children. If you're not sure you want another child then I think it's better not to, 3 is already a lot to spread your time between. I would put your time into the kids you have.

Could you afford to buy in help if you did decide to keep the baby?

So ladies I’ve been off birth control for 7 years so you have the back story and I’ve never been caught out before

in April I unfortunately ovulated twice hence why it was such a shock it was also a busy month where we only ended up spending this type of time today 19 days after my last period so hence why it was such a shock I also had too wait 2 weeks after my period too test positive so it’s not been easy

when I first found out I was not happy but I was nothing I was more shocked a little numb as the last two weeks have gone one I started feeling some fear I think the fear comes from I’m a god fearing woman so making a decision that doesn’t correlate with my spiritual views make it either harder I feel some what trapped … hence why I’m reaching out I personally know it’s something I do t want too do

for these reasons

im scared i wont be fit and healthy quick enough for my current children

i find now at 34 that im tired and im scared how i will manage with no sleep I dont want too be that mum if you get me

i feel sad that I can offer an amazing life for a baby but i fear that i wont ever be relaxed everything becomes a hassle i feel like no one will ever be able too pick up all my kids from school …? unless they have a 7 seater car

my parents will never be able too take all my kids away in there so many random thoughts going through my mind

am I making the wrong decision as I’m scared I could regret it but I’m also knowing if I do go ahead with abortion I’m finished and ready too just enjoy my life with my girls growing up

im also scared of this story I just read of nurse dying in child birth and I realise how difficult childbirth is and I’m scared of what if something happened too me my girls I crnt stand the thought of that

im sorry I’m going on and on but I’m lost and I can not seem too get a clear mind as like I said abrotion isn’t something I believe in but I’m trying too find comfort as I feel low x