4 week old baby support

[Ros2023]

Hi everyone, I know I’ve probably not written on the right topic here but I know there are lots of you here that will be supportive.
I have a 4 week old baby and although this is my 3rd child I forgot how difficult the newborn stage is. The sleepless nights, the house is a mess and I can’t get anything done, baby won’t be put down, having to eat cold meals, the dreaded witching hour, the list goes on!
I know it’s still early days and it’s completely normal to feel this way but I feel completely suffocated and my hormones are still all over the place. Husband is back at work doing 12 hour shifts so it can be quite lonely muscling through on your own.
is anyone else feeling this way and can relate? Or can someone show me some positivity and remind me that I will get through it!

This too shall pass!
the 12 hour days are long, I know. Find something to break up the time? Or create a routine with maybe some moveable parts, so the structure helps to keep you in a positive mindset, but you have flexibility to do different things?

I would try and plan in some time outside the house with grown ups. That was a godsend for me. How old are other DC? Old enough to help a little around the house? We’ve just found out that we’re expecting #3 and I’m now attempting (ha) to gently install a little more independence in my older DC. E.g. taking their plates to the kitchen. Small stuff (but they’re only small at 6 and 3)

My son's 9mo now but I remember this so well! Have you tried a baby carrier/wrap so you can get stuff done? And do you have family that can help out a little bit? It will absolutely pass, at the time it felt like forever but I look back now and it's all gone so quickly. I think for me It got better around the 6 week mark. Hang in there xx

Thank you both 💕 I think I spent most of yesterday crying because I’m so overwhelmed/tired.
my 2 other children are teenagers so they are really helpful and also look after themselves a lot now. I try to get out for a walk everyday but I am definitely avoiding seeing people because I’m so anxious about taking my baby anywhere incase she screams of won’t settle. It’s something I need to work on!
I’m just trying to get through each day at the moment. My task of the day is to try and shower and maybe have a sleep!!!

It's tough, and you'll have days like that. Don't feel guilty about just having a lazy day, I'd sometimes just spend the day in bed with baby, at that age they definitely don't mind! Although baby's there you can try to take some time to relax and put something on tele. Housework can wait a while. Do try to get out also, this kept me sane. Baby groups are great, definitely no judgement for a screaming baby there. But take him out, if he screams then he screams, babys do that :) we would just go for walks, shopping, sit in cafes. We get out at least once a day. Hopefully you manage to get some sleep today x

In the thick of it with you, I have a 10 week old baby and a toddler. I forgot how hard the baby days were, or maybe it's harder because we have other children to deal with? My new baby is a velcro baby I cannot put him down, he screams and is quite unsettled a lot of the time and I sometimes feel like people are judging me when I have a crying baby and tantruming toddler 😥 I'm ebf which is starting to wear me out, im touched out and sooo tired. I can't even baby wear often because he just smells boob and cries even more!
I keep trying to tell myself this is all temporary, just a season in our lives. That tends to help. But hand hold 💐 this is brutal and you're not alone. My house is a mess and we just had random relatives turn up so I'm hiding upstairs to feed 😅

I could have written this myself. I have a Velcro baby too! I’ve managed a quick few minute shower(haven’t managed one for 2 days!!) before she woke up crying. Although I don’t wish it upon anyone I’m so glad that I aren’t the only one going through this, it makes me feel less alone because it can feel so isolating. I got postnatal depression with my last baby so I’m terrified it gets me again. Really trying to do what I can to be positive through all of it.
we can get through this 💕

Thank you 💕 I’m really trying to put things into perspective and take things day by day.
completely forgot how hard these days can be.
I’ve managed a super quick shower and shut my eyes for half an hour. One step at a time! Haha

Yes!! Thats pretty good going :)

Mine are younger but I didn't start finding my feet with 3 children until 8 weeks in. Do you have a good baby carrier? It was an absolute saviour. He's 9 months now and still spends a lot of time in it!

It will get easier and better.

I'm going to attempt a shower today too 🤞 I find it soo hard listening to his cries as well, I feel like im an anxious mess at the moment!
Aw I really hope you don't get PD again, I've been worried about my level of anxiety this time round 😬
But agreed, it's nice knowing we're not alone 🫶 there should be a thread for mams with velcro newborns!

Honestly my anxiety is through the roof. When she’s crying it makes it even worse. The witching hour is awful too so the anxiety I have all day knowing that I have that to come is horrible.
we will get there 💕 just one day at a time. It’s definitely like survival mode isn’t it!

I find it so hard when people don't understand too, my DP just heard me and OH planning when everyone would shower tonight and they called us ridiculous 😒 I said baby screams when hes not in my arms so we're trying to be strategic but they looked at me like I was crazy. Does not make me feel better!
I am 100% in survival mode. But one day hopefully we'll go from surviving to thriving 🥰