Am I being unreasonable for expecting my husband to offer to help with chores when pregnant?

[jasminnie]

So I’m around 8 weeks pregnant. Before I was pregnant I was the one usually in charge of hoovering, laundry etc.

now that I’m pregnant I really wish he would offer to help. But whenever I clean or hoover he just sits there on his phone, not even offering to help. He says he’s ’tired.’ Well I’m pregnant and I’m not even complaining about being tired.

Am I being unreasonable for being upset?

Do you work outside the home? Do you both work same hours?

Assuming you’re both working? He should be “helping”/participating towards household chores of the house that HE lives in regardless of whether you’re pregnant or not. Unless you’re a SAHM/housewife in which that does change things to a degree.

What do you mean by plague of distress ? Some women have easy pregnancies. Other women have absolutely horrendous ones

You are the one being unreasonable for saying he should be “helping” you.

It isn’t something that’s solely up to you and that he would be doing you a favour by doing it for you.

It is also his house, his, washing, his meals, his mess.

You are being unreasonable if you are asking for help? The chores are not your responsibility. A grown adult does their share.

He’s not helping doing these things - he should be doing them (or equivalent in other household tasks) as you both live there and both contribute to the messiness of the house. What does he do?
My husband didn’t do much housework- he was super tidy though and didn’t create mess, plus he paid for a cleaner who also ironed his shirts so I didn’t have to do much other than day to day stuff.
The only factor is if you don’t work and then you might be expected to do proportionally more, but not all, housework. If you do work then he needs to be doing half.

If housework is your job, what are his jobs?

I hate the "pregnancy is not an illness" shite. Women have been gaslit for so bloody long. I challenge any man to endure the four months of relentless, relentless nausea I had in the first half of both my pregnancies, and then the pelvic dysfunction that immediately followed as soon as the nausea got better. No it's not a bloody illness, it's worse.

"Pregnancy is not an illness" can get to fuck along with "just breathe through your contractions".

If you were lucky enough to have easy pregnancies (and/or births), then well bloody done. You are a better, stronger human than the rest of us. Without modern medicine I'd have died in my first childbirth. A friend of mine would have died in pregnancy from HG. You win, OK? Glow with pride. Your pregnancy was "not an illness".

In the meantime, in the real world, many (most?) women do have very uncomfortable pregnancies.

I never had a single UTI before I was pregnant. In my second pregnancy I had to have no fewer than 8 courses of antibiotics for recurring UTIs that were threatening to put me into premature labour. 8.

Pregnancy is not an illness, my bladder.

YABVU to suggest he “helps” with chores. Why are they your chores? Does he not put shit on the floor that needs hoovering? Or wear clothes that need washing?
So, no he doesn’t need to “ help” he needs to get his own shit done and that includes hoovering and washing, obviously!! He’s tired? That’s a shame, he won’t have any clean clothes then will he?

YABU, unpaid drudgework is your job, as you are a woman. Have you not been paying attention?

(and ignore ppl saying ‘only 8 weeks pregnant’. I was absolutely shattered in my first trimester in all my pregnancies.)

Why do you want a baby when you've already got one? You do know that this is going to feel much, much worse when you're up all night with a newborn and he cba to even load the dishwasher?

YANBU, husband sounds pretty shit. I didn’t do a single household chore during either pregnancy as I was sick as a dog and had low blood pressure and it took all my energy just to carry on with work and then childcare during days off second time around! No apology to those on this thread who think that’s pathetic, pregnancy is pretty extreme, but well done to those who can do it without any ‘side effects’, I’m sure you all deserve a medal.