Scared of giving birth without epidural

[TheIceBear]

I am 37 weeks pregnant and all of a sudden the fear has descended about giving birth. My last labour with my first dc was over 4 years ago and I found the contractions incredibly painful even in early labour. I ended up with an epidural after 2 days of contractions and no sleep. I had a Ventouse delivery and episiotomy which I’d rather avoid if possible. Has anyone managed with no epidural for a second birth after having one for their first ? I would like to try but to be honest the idea really terrifies me.

I had an induction+ epidural + ventouse + episiotomy with my first due to pre eclampsia.
My next two were born with just gas &air. With my third I didn't even need stitches.

I was the same OP, contractions with DC1 were so painful from the off, there was no gradual/gentle build up and it left me quite traumatised afterwards. I didn't have an episiotomy but wished to god I had. DS1 was also episiotomy and ventose. DS2's whole labour experience was totally different which I wasn't expecting, with contractions much more gradual and manageable for much of labour. I'd been in labour about 12 hours and didn't realise, thought I had out of control braxton hicks! I also used a tens machine (when I finally found out I was in labour!) which was bloody AMAZING. DS2 born vaginally, no intervention, no epidural (it was in my birth preferences as I was convinced I'd need one but managed without). I was so scared of second labour and in the end I found it quite healing in getting over the trauma of the first. Also most of my friends who had horrible first birth experiences found number 2 more straightforward. Sending you all the best with it OP 🙏

Would you consider a hypnobirthing course to learn some tools to get you through contractions? I found it really helped me feel less anxious going into labour. I’d recommend the positive birth company online course x

I had epidural and an oxytocin drip with my first after nearly a week of slow labour. I was in full labour for 11 hours and pushing for what seemed like hours too, although I think it was actually about two hours. If it wasn't for the epidural it would have been horrendous, and I swore I was having an epidural again when I gave birth to my second. Even though they had to keep me in hospital for an extra couple of days because the epidural turned my whole leg numb and it took 2 days for that to wear off. I wasn't allowed home until I could walk unaided.

Anyway when I got to the hospital to deliver baby number 2, announcing my plan for an epidural, which was on my birth plan in big letters, the midwife did an initial check, announced 'no time for an epidural, you're 5cm already and progressing nicely, baby will be here before the anesthetist gets here!' So I delivered DD on just gas and air. She wasn't wrong, DD was born about 2 hours later, with about 20 minutes of pushing. I think the hardest bit was getting my head around not getting the birth the way I was expecting it to go, and the fear of the pain more than the pain itself. It was bloody hard work and extraordinarily painful at times. But the gas and air made me not really care about the pain if that makes sense. And I felt like I had much more understanding of what my body was doing, I was more present and aware of everything if that makes sense.

I'm not planning a third, but if I did, I would go into it planning the second birth rathe than the first. I recovered a lot quicker with the second too.

I had an early epidural with no additional intervention. Had a good sleep and watched Wimbledon before giving birth - pain free. Perfect delivery. Didn’t see any point of being in any pain.

I had my first without an epidural and my second with - albeit only for the last few hours - and honestly, I'd do the first birth again by preference. I used TENS both times and was able to be in the water the first time and it was all I needed. It was a great experience.

Seconds tend to be faster and more straightforward (my second was only different because I had to be induced early due to some concerns, and they had to chuck an absolute shit-ton of oxytocin at me to get labour fully underway).

Thanks for all your responses, they are really helpful. Will try some hypnobirthing exercises and see how I get on

My first was horrendous - 36 hours, needed the drip, epidural, pushing for over 2 hours, had episiotomy and massive blood loss etc.

Second was way better, only about 12 hours from first contraction, mostly used just TENS machine and gas and air - I had pethidine right at the end but shouldn’t have, as baby was born about 10 mins later - I literally didn’t push at all, my body just ejected him all by itself with no effort or pain on my part, it was a very surreal experience!

Your body has done it once now, it knows what to do and there’s an excellent chance that it will be loads smoother this time round.

What did you use in the early stages?

Yes actually! I hadn't planned to. The epidural failed, I didn't know that could be possible. The interesting thing about the second birth compared to my first with the epidural was I didn't tear, so it felt like the healing was much easier.

The pain was essentially like bad period pain, familiar but more intense. It was the length of time dealing with it that was the hard point I think. I really did sort of go into myself. The gas and air helped with that. I was sort of surprised when the baby was out.

Overall the experience was fine- Id give birth either with or without an epidural if I ever had a third. I wouldn't be scared. Contraction pains seem like this weird mystical pain when people talk about it but really we have been having them to some extent all of our lives.

I’m also in your boat OP.
Induction + Epidural (Failed) plus 2nd degree tearing with my first. I’m 34 weeks pregnant with DD2 now and desperately hoping for just gas and air as the epidural caused more problems than it was worth but I’m also hoping for but slightly terrified about spontaneous labour.

I didn’t have anything like your experience with m first birth but I did find with subsequent births that the “birth fear” came at around 37 weeks for me too. No one I know had the same birth experience twice. I do like pp idea of looking to hypo birthing techniques to help keep you calm. I would let the midwives know you’re anxious after previous experience when you get to the ward. All the best.

I have OP.

I think with baby 1 it was the sense of not fully understanding what was going on, which made me panic and plead for an epidural.

With baby 2 I felt like a different person. I was much calmer when contractions started, I had a better idea of what would come. It was all much quicker, it was actually too late at the hospital for me to have one, but I was OK with that. The birth went well, for me it really was a case of mind over matter.

Such a cliche but try and stay calm and keep breathing. With baby 1 I wasn’t using the gas and air properly because I was panicking and not breathing properly, anxiously talking too much. I used the gas and air properly second time round by being calmer, and that helped me a lot.

Good luck, you’ve got this! 🙏🏻💐

Another vote for a TENS machine here!

I tried the tens machine and bath and they made my skin crawl. I was given pethidine and it didn’t really help either. And gas and air near the end before the epidural.
only thing that helped was sitting on a yoga ball

Yes! DS1 was back to back and early labour was two days long of painful contractions. Was so exhausted by the time I got to three cm I gladly took the epidural. It ended in a ventuse delivery.
DS2 contractions progressed quickly and I coped well with just gas and air and ended up having a lovely water birth. Amazing experience.

Same as you first time (epidural, epis and ventouse).
Home birth with no pain relief at all second time, not even G&A.

Every birth is different. I would try to go in with an open mind- if you need the pain relief, have it. If you can manage without, great. Try to avoid setting yourself up to feel that one way or the other is the right way to do it.

if you had an epidural last time and it worked well for you why not have one again if you find the pain is as bad? You don't have to decide immediately - you can see how you're finding it and make a decision along the way (worth bearing in mind though that if you leave it til later on there's always a small chance it wouldn't be in and working in time to deliver if labour cracks on quickly). If you're worried about another assisted delivery, there is an association with epidurals, but it's not at all clear that it's a causative relationship - there are loads of reasons that a first timer might need a bit of help to push a baby out (and a labour that's more likely to need help is also more likely to be painful and need some punchy pain relief). Having had a vaginal delivery before, all other things being equal, you've probably got a good chance of having another this time. Every labour is different and lots of women find second time round is more straightforward and progresses a bit (/lot!) quicker. For some women too there's some advantage in having an epidural in addition to the pain relief they give. If you're dead set against though, it may also be worth asking if remifentanil's an option where you're planning to deliver. It isn't universally available but if it is there, and there's no contraindications to using it, it may be useful.

Honestly, just have the epidural. It doesn't always lead to intervention. There's no medal for those who go with less pain relief.

Yes to Tens machine! I wouldn't have coped without it.

Thanks all, I guess I’m keen to try without epidural because last baby had a large circlular lump on his head for months and months from the ventouse and I blamed myself a little for getting the epidural as I couldn’t really feel anything while trying to push.
with this pregnancy I was told baby is back to back in my last appointment. Hoping he will have turned by the next. Also because this is an ivf baby I’ve been told they won’t let me go past my due date. I think if it’s a Back to back baby with induction I think I will be seeking an epidural again.