Chemical pregnancy … feeling sad 😔

[Chaosreigning]

Hi all, just after a listening ear as I’m feeling sad and no one but my husband knows about this.

We have three children under 6 and I am breastfeeding DS who is 17 months. My cycles had not returned . I don’t know why but a few days ago I just had an odd feeling and did a test. Faint line, same the next day and then a clearly positive frer on Wednesday. Condoms must have failed. To put it bluntly I cried because I was petrified, timing is not good, how will we cope financially and with the three we already have etc etc .

Then we talked about the positives . And we both adore babies.

the next day I took another test - negative. Same today on two tests .

I now feel so sad. This baby wasn’t planned or wanted but I still feel devastated. Now I’m anticipating the bleeding and when it might start. I also don’t know how many weeks I was (although can’t be that far along as first test was faint) . I’ve booked a gp app for Monday but I don’t know what else to do. Nothing I can do I suppose 😢

I keep taking tests now looking for that line and it’s gone .

It’s hard not to blame myself too as I had no idea I was pregnant apart from this feeling so had the odd drink, used a hot tub etc etc

I’m sorry ❤️ don’t blame yourself, it’s not your fault

Thank you. My logical head knows that but not much logical about hormones and feelings !

I'm really sorry 😔 Even unplanned, it's really upsetting to lose a pregnancy. It is 100% not your fault so please make sure your logical head wins that discussion 💕

Thank you. It really is. When I got the positive I went through every emotion possible in 24hrs and ended up imagining my 4th little person. It’s so hard to let that go now

Has anyone who has had a chemical tell me how long after the tests went negative did you start bleeding?