How to tell my family I'm pregnant with baby number 5?

[Kayloulou90]

Hello everyone,

I'm currently 11 weeks pregnant with my 4th baby, but we have my husband's eldest son live with us full time so we are counting this baby as our 5th.

My siblings can be very, lets say, judgemental about everything (our parents have both passed away many years ago). It's the only thing that's making me nervous about this pregnancy, I'm not nervous about birth, any scans, postpartum, nothing except telling my family. Me and my husband fully support ourselves, never ask for any help - not even babysitting, I'm a stay at home mum and my partner has a stable, well paid job and we have been married for nearly 8 years, together for nearly 13 - I only say this to say there would be no "reason" for them to be angry since they aren't supporting us or anything, the only real thing they could say is we only have a 3 bedroom rented house, but plan on splitting the largest bedroom so the eldest can have their own bedroom essentialy turning it into a 4 bed.

How should I tell them? I need a script to go by 🤣 I know this all sounds ridiculous but they can be so incredibly judgemental, to the point when I was pregnant with my first I didn't even get a congratulations just asked if it was a mistake and if I'm sure since I'm so young (I was 22) I have thought about simply not telling them, but I see my eldest sibling daily due to our children going to school together and more anger would be created if I keep it a secret.

Please help a stressed, pregnant mumma!

Just tell them
they will react however they want and you have no control over that

You can’t control anyone’s behaviour other than your own here.

Congratulations

Most of all you need to let go of the idea that your siblings disapproval or approval has any relevance. You can do this without cutting them off or anything.

Do you have to tell them? If you feel you must, get yourself into a mental space where you are feeling your fullest happiness about your pregnancy, surround yourself with your favourite flowers and give them a call/message them from that happy place. If they disapprove, just start laughing.

Just tell them. If you and your partner are happy then it really doesn't matter what they think. Pregnancy and babies can be triggering for some people especially if they want to have a baby or are experiencing infertility. Negative reactions are mostly normally about them rather than you. If I was worried for a family member or friend I would try to support them rather than be negative.

Just tell them. It's crap they are having this impact on your life
Send a WhatsApp
Hiya dh and I excited to say we're having another baby due in month x

Leave them to it. If they have an issue it's their issue to have nothing to do with you your an adult and living your own life!

I get this, my sister told me to wait and be sensible and move house etc. first when I confided in her that we were trying for another. My parents response was a slightly passive aggressive ‘if you’re happy’ and I was relieved at that response (as I was fearing worse) but honestly still saddened by the lack of enthusiasm and support.

i’d just message them with a cheerful announcement to head off any extremely rude responses (people seem less likely to be rude in writing and even if they’re not then at least you have in writing how unreasonable they are to remind you whenever you worry that you were right and they’re arseholes).