Pregnancy after loss..

[MumModeRebooted]

Well it's been a minute, but here I am back on mumsnet..

I am pregnant! Yay! Just, and not that I can believe it. I am still testing daily (4 weeks + 4 days today) and overthinking the shade of line compared to the day before.

A bit of background: I have three older children, and am now in a new relationship (I say new, it has been five years). We started TTC last year and sadly suffered two miscarriages and two chemical pregnancies. The last loss was in September 2024, and we made the decision to take a break from TTC - which we did until this last cycle, and now we are pregnant, again.

Part of me is super excited, and I start planning the nursery in my head or working out maternity/shared parental leave dates. But then suddenly I am overcome with a wave of sadness and guilt for thinking so far ahead. What if this pregnancy doesn't progress? If I am excited, it will hurt even more if we experience another miscarriage. Even though deep down, I know it will hurt the same whether I am outwardly excited or not - this baby is very much wanted.

We will be having an early scan around 8 weeks, but I can't even let myself look forward to that.

Logically, I know what will be will be, but there is no logic in worry! Has anyone else experienced this and have some advice? Any positive stories? Any "you're not alone nor are you crazy" stories? Please please share.

Huge congratulations! You are definitely not alone, nor are you crazy - there are lots of people on here who will completely empathise with you.

I had a 12-week miscarriage last July and a chemical pregnancy at the start of November, before getting pregnant in February this year - almost 16 weeks and so far all is well! I tested several times a day until I had an early scan at 6 weeks, then had further scans at 8, 10 and 12 weeks (the last of those was only two days before my NHS scan as I just couldn’t face the thought of going into that scan and being told the heart had stopped). I still feel really disconnected from the whole thing and don’t believe it will actually end with a baby - somehow I just can’t feel excited or happy about it (even though I am).

So I have no solutions, but do understand how you feel!

I'm so sorry for your previous losses.

I don't have any advice or positive stories, but can confirm that you are not alone nor are you crazy!

I'm a similar position - last year I had 2 chemicals and a miscarriage at 8 weeks (but I suspected something was wrong because my tests were getting darker but very gradually, HCG level was only 1200 at 6w and then a scan at 6w6d showed a slow heartbeat of 75bpm). I have no children yet.

I'm currently 6w5d and I have an early scan tomorrow evening so will hopefully get an idea of whether this one may be viable. I got my positive at 3w3d (10dpo) and the past 3.5 weeks have dragged by so slowly! I've just taken it one day at a time. I'm on progesterone pessaries this time, which makes it even harder to try to put the pregnancy out my mind because I have to make sure I remember those twice per day!

Its so hard not to worry, isn't it. 'What will be will be' is 100% true but its the not knowing that causes the anxiety.

I obsessively tested and compared lines too... I only managed to stop 3 days ago, as I was getting dye stealers and finally accepted there is nothing more the tests can tell me 😂

Are you taking anything additional this time? As mentioned, I'm on progesterone and high dose folic acid prescribed by the hospital, but I'm also taking baby aspirin, vitamin d, usual multi vitamin plus omega 3 and NAC (an anti inflammatory recommended by It Starts With The Egg) (I'm surprised I don't rattle walking round, I'm on that many tablets haha) . No idea if these will make any difference but my research suggests none of them will be a risk to the baby so I thought what's the harm in trying! I guess it makes me feel a bit more in control.

I wish I could be excited, make plans, buy baby clothes, tell my family... but pregnancy after loss steals the excitement and I guess I just wanted to say understand how you feel. It's a waiting game at this stage...

Wishing you all the best for this pregnancy!

**sorry NAC is an antioxidant, not anti inflammatory! 🙄