Surprise pregnancy at 41 - terrified

[SentimentalCynic]

Hi everyone, I'm new to the site.

Last week I found out I'm expecting with two positive pregnancy tests. This was a massive shock! I was diagnosed with PCOS at the age of 16 and have suffered with most of the common symptoms my entire life. I've been with my husband for 22 years, married for 11. We haven't used precautions for about 12 years now and had never conceived in that time.

I keep pregnancy tests around due to my periods being somewhat all over the place (fairly regular in recent years but my cycle length has changed a lot) so when I realised I hadn't come on I did a test. Routine, I thought, just to rule it out. I nearly fainted when I looked over at it and realised it had two lines. I've done 3 more tests since then, all positive.

My husband is over the moon but I'm freaking out a little. I'm 41 years old, type 2 diabetic and very overweight. We always said that if it ever happened then it would be a blessing (and I think this is still true, especially since I found out a year to the day since my father-in-law passed away). I'm scared, though. I almost don't want to get too excited about it in case the worst happens. I feel like I've stepped out of my life and into somebody else's.

Is it normal to feel like this? I have my first midwife appointment in a couple of days. I estimate I'm about 7 weeks along.

Your reaction sounds absolutely normal. Congratulations! I hope it goes well for you.

How exciting. Congratulations and fingers crossed.

You must be gobsmacked! Talk to your midwife. She'll have loads of good advice.
Congratulations!

This is bloody brilliant!
What super fantastic news for you!

It can be ok, I was 43 after years of infertility when I had my long awaited surprise pregnancy, best thing I have ever ever experienced.

Good luck, take it day by day and know that nothing can be classed as normal in this game, but it is normal for you!

You have made my day with this!

Congratulations! Same thing happened to my great grandma. 9 years and no babies. Then at 41 my nanna arrived. They were very close and loved each other very much.

It's perfectly normal to feel any emotional response whatsoever. It is a shock! Plus the hormones send your emotions all over the place.
Hoping this turns out to be a blessing and miracle for you x

Please speak urgently to your GP surgery tomorrow and get a prescription for 5mg folic acid. Are you taking any medications? Metformin and insulin are fine in pregnancy, other things may not be (speak to your GP surgery).
It may be worth contacting your booking hospital as mine would usually see you in diabetes clinic with a viability scan at about 8 weeks, often before the community midwife. Try and get an HbA1C blood test - via GP / midwife if doing booking bloods.

You will be asked to check your blood sugar 6 x day - when you wake up, before and an hour after all meals. If you have a meter and strips start now.

Congratulations but it is very early days.

I'm going to say this is more than normal.

You'd prob made your peace with not having children.
Our pregnancies were planned and i was absolutely stunned every time I got pregnant.

Dont worry too much about it, from first hand experience you'd be amazed how sick you can be and still have a healthy pregnancy.

This is wonderful.
Congratulations to you both.
What a blessing 😊 😀

Congratulations . It’s almost like the baby was sent to you by your FIL .

Terrified is normal but it’ll wear off and be replaced by excitement and fear of the unknown. Get to the doctor and start taking folic acid tomorrow!

Good luck! And congratulations! 🙌

Awww congratulations OP!

This is similar to me in 2004, although I was a bit younger. I never imagined I would be spending my 40th on maternity leave! I had PCOS (and what I later found out, undiagnosed type 2 at 20 weeks) and was taking metformin, which the fertility consultant then doubled, and I was pregnant by the end of the month! I had a BMI of over 40 and did end up on insulin very early on.
Congratulations, and feel free to DM if I can be of any help x

I hadn't considered this - the midwife knows I'm diabetic, but I'll give the GP a call tomorrow and ask to speak to the diabetic nurse. I'm taking folic acid/vitamin D supplements from Boots, but I imagine those aren't 5mg. I need to check on the medications I'm taking, as I'm prescribed metformin and other things so I should speak to her asap really. Thank you for reminding me to do this!

This is really comforting to know - thank you for responding! Did you have a fairly uneventful pregnancy other than needing to go on insulin?

Awwww congratulations! What you’re feeling is totally normal. My DD was unplanned and although medically and physically fit, came at a time when I was going through some significant life changes and I was completely under it to say the least. Now you just have to take it day by day. Eventually it will sink in, but then again, maybe it won’t actually until that little baby is in your arms- who knows?! This is to say, every feeling you have (including the ones we sometimes feel ashamed to voice) are valid. Also don’t underestimate the impact of an unplanned pregnancy on your sense of feeling “ready” or “excited” (whatever that means with a new baby!). I’m currently pregnant with my planned second and the emotions are very different this time around. I actually feel excited, where last time I felt fear, stress, like there wasn’t enough time to prepare etc. You will be absolutely fine though. Congratulations!

Unfortunately, I was classed as very high risk (I had to inject an unusually high amount of insulin) and delivered at 36 weeks, but I was a very unusual case and did have pre-eclampsia at the end. However, I think being an HCP helped me manage things, and that child graduates from uni in July, 2 days before her 21st (STEM subject ), so no impact on her at all! I am sure, as your diabetes has been diagnosed and treated, you will have a very different experience. Also, the oldest woman I was involved with was 48!

Exciting!
I had my kids at 41 and 43. Developed type 1 diabetes with my first. He’s 21 now and m visiting him about to have dinner.
A friend of mine married at 29, didn’t use any birth control and just felt it wasn’t to be but eventually got pregnant at 46! Her son is 23 now. She said it was a shock but she embraced it and of course it changed their lives but wouldn’t be without him now. Just give yourself a bit of time to adjust.