Blamed for possible miscarriage

[Rosethorn848607]

I'm 40 years old, my husband currently works abroad We got married last year. I went to visit him last month tried for a baby (only stayed 2 weeks but monitored ovulation) . My periods are regular (26-28 days cycle) . I have a 17 year old son as well.

I was hoping I would be pregnant, I arrived back to my home country 6 days ago and when I first arrived back I was having very mild symptoms like breast tenderness, slight nausea, strange cravings. But 2 days ago all these symptoms disappeared. Anyhow, today is day 28 of my cycle and I did a pregnancy test which I was heartbroken to see negative. I had very slight pink discharge on the toilet paper just the once but no period. However I am getting mild period like stomach and back pain.

I told my husband this news and one of our mutual friends. The friend said it's " my fault I must have miscarried as I must be over stressing". This broke my further, if anything I have kept myself calm, eating the right foods and enjoying time with family. Of course I was concerned about the pregnancy result as I desperately would like another child.

Due to work commitments from mine and my husbands side we have only managed to try for a baby twice (once last year March and once last month)

What does this mean for me. Was I actually pregnant and miscarried or were these symptoms related to tiredness, jetlag and climate change etc.

I'm worried if my hormones are in working order but dreading going to the drs at the same time.
Thankfully I've never had any issues with my periods, they've always been regular even now. I eat healthy and workout 4-5 times a week with strength training and cardio.

The only other thing I can think of is subconscious stress, because I really want my husband and myself to live together and we are currently in the process of moving to live as a family hopefully by next month.

Has anyone here naturally conceived a baby without any medical intervention and has full term pregnancy with a happy healthy baby?

TIA

Sorry has anyone my age conceived naturally and gone full term pregnancy. Or did you need to have medical intervention such as hormonal therapy, progesterone injections etc?

Often signs of your period are the same as pregnancy but it sounds like you either aren’t pregnant or it is too early for a pregnancy test to show.

Test again in a few days.

The mutual friend was very uncaring to make such an unsupportive and unnecessary statement.
If you take your Basel body temperature during your cycle you will have a better idea about if you are pregnant as you temperature will stay high and won’t drop. Google sympto thermal method

I'm afraid I can't help much but just wanted to say I can't imagine what's wrong with your friend that they would say something so ridiculous and cruel to you. If you did have a chemical pregnancy, and there's no evidence that you did, it certainly wasn't your fault!! Unfortunately it's very common. I hope you find yourself pregnant soon! Xx

What your ‘friend’ said was totally out of order and I’d be assessing how much of a friend that person is.

I'm 41 and got pregnant naturally after a miscarriage. It took a while though and a fair bit of "trying" - so if your husband isn't regularly there then you might find that bit difficult. But currently 33 weeks, if that gives you some hope.

Yeah and your friend is not a friend. Ditch her and tell her why.

I had 3DC in my late 30s, early 40s. There is no reason to suspect you can't have another baby at 40.

It is not your fault you possibly had a chemical pregnancy, and your so called friend is dreadful for suggesting that.

The chances of miscarriage rise with age.

Your friend was out of order.

You need to see your DH more to raise chances of pregnancy

Your friend is awful. It also doesn't sound to me like you were ever pregnant in the first place. When TTC it's very easy to interpret things as a sign of pregnancy, because your mind so wants it to be true. However as a PP said, the symptoms of early pregnancy are similar to PMS. I was TTC for a couple of years and would symptom spot, and often, cruelly, the symptoms would be accompanied with a late period. The tests were always negative and AF would eventually come along. With your age, it's likely your periods will start to become less regular and you may have some spotting now (hence the pink discharge) and your period will come along properly soon. However, that doesn't mean you won't eventually conceive.

I have a friend who conceived naturally and had a healthy baby at 41.
What your friend said is horrible.