12 week scan - Impersonal experience at Southmead Antenatal Clinic, Bristol

[jdc03]

I’m of course absolutely thrilled the baby is healthy and that was the most important thing today, but I also can’t help feel really quite upset about the experience we had a Southmead Antenatal Clinic. The sonogropher didn’t introduce herself once (my husband noticed this too), she didn’t smile or ask anything about us at all. She abruptly asked me to get up on the bed and lower my pants. She then scanned in silence, whilst I was so excited to see our baby for the first time and was seeing its little face and limbs, I was pointing out the different parts and asking if there was a heartbeat she just responded “yes” with no emotion. She moaned continuously about how the baby was moving saying “come on” and “moving too much” repeatedly, as if I or the baby was doing something wrong or abnormal. My husband said he worked in the department and she just didn’t respond, literally gave us nothing at all. I understand entirely she has a serious job to do, but my partner and I are both health professionals and we would never treat patients this cold with zero niceties whatsoever. She gave us 3 photos of a really blurry view where you can’t the baby well at all, I asked if we could have 2 more (originally asked for 5 at the start) and she tutted like it was a problem. Does she forget this is all I have to look at for the next 8 weeks whilst awaiting the 20 week scan? It hurts my heart knowing there were so many amazing views we seen live on screen and she didn’t bother capturing them for us to keep so we can look at them over the next few weeks and months. I know others who have had really lovely interactions with their sonographers who point things out to them and choose the best images for them to keep forever. She unfortunately put such a dampener on the whole thing I started feeling top of the world and left feeling so deflated. It’s made me worry as she obviously didn’t care about making this a nice process for families so many this whole process will be very impersonal. Of course still so happy baby is looking fine, just a bit disappointed.
Anyone have any similar or better experiences of this place? Thanks all

In the gentlest possible way, its a medical procedure to check your baby is healthy not one for you to get keepsakes out of. I get that she was fairly cold in her manner, but she would have been concentrating on making sure she was getting all the relevent details for your medical racord not the best image for you to put on your wall. You'd be bette roff going to a commercial baby scan clinic and paying for them if you want a great image

Sorry OP but I agree. Her manner could have been better. But the scan isn’t for you to have keepsakes.

I'd argue her job is to make sure baby is healthy and all is going well with the pregnancy. It's a medical procedure.

Some trusts don't print any photos.

If you want a more relaxed / personalised experience I'd book in for a scan at a private clinic. Maybe do the 3d scan when baby is bigger? We did this in the 3rd trimester and it was lovely

That is a bit cold and impersonal. I've had two children and had one sonographer who was really grumpy and bad tempered. The rest were professional, but not exactly warm and friendly, but I didn't mind that. There's a difference between detached and professional and openly bad tempered, which is what we had with one of them.

We also had one private scan with dc2 and that was a nicer experience. We had a lot longer and the sonographer was really friendly. We also got lots of pictures from that one

That’s not great for you OP . As a health professional I get so much job satisfaction from being friendly,reassuring and kind. Am glad baby is healthy,congratulations.

This would have annoyed me too, OP.

Would you pay for a private scan?

obviously no guarantees the sonography will be lovely, but can’t be any worse than this woman! FWIW, I think some sonographers are on autopilot and can say the most unhinged stuff; it’s not personal.

I've been there twice, but fortunately had really lovely friendly experiences, sounds like it's luck of the draw or your sonographer was having a bad day. A shame, but you probably won't see her again. Fingers crossed your next scan is a better experience

Oh sorry OP.

Everyone knows (and you've stated) it's primarily a 'medical' thing but obviously it's an important pregnancy milestone too. Added to that it's also a very anxious time for a lot of parents and you'd think a minimal amout of effort should be made to put you at ease if nothing else.

At my 12 week scan (different hospital) my sonographer recognised me from my last one (3+ years ago!) and got me a tissue when I was overwhelmed and it really makes all the difference.

Sounds like she definitely could have been nicer, but also sounds like she was struggling to see what she needed to see while baby was moving so much, and was finding it hard to focus enough on it while you were both trying to chat and talk.

Now you know baby is well book a private scan if you can afford it.

It's not an "experience" though. It's a medical procedure at the end of the day. Yeah, she should have introduced herself but the rest of it she was concentrating on doing her job

A friend of mine works in complaints for an NHS trust. She gets complaints about people's experience of vaginal births and c sections. Their expectations often seem to be way off. Who knew the process of major surgery and the recovery (whilst caring for a baby) wouldn't be fun!?

Healthcare professional here too, I also wouldn’t treat patients like that. However it’s quite a precise thing that requires concentration. A lot of trusts don’t do pictures, ours charges per picture. Agree with PP, if it’s important to you to have photos you should book a private scan and get what you pay for. Congrats on the pregnancy!

I’m on my fourth pregnancy, no living children yet, and can’t say I’ve ever had a warm, welcoming and joyful experience, even when things were going well. Both 12 weeks scans life had (I’ve had losses at 6, 9 and 19 weeks) were methodical but not at all chatty.

Whilst it’s important to be professional and polite, I think we need to remember that these people uncover all kinds of things during these scans. They never know what they will find, and it’s not all a bed of roses. These are people who very often start a scan and end up having to tell people their baby has died, or that there is something seriously wrong, or that there are other concerns. They need to concentrate very hard, it’s very difficult to see everything on a wiggly baby and it’s not unusual for them to send you out to jump about a bit or drink some water and then try again. We got one picture at my son’s 12 week scan, very blurry and too zoomed in to see much, and it’s the last picture we ever had of him because we lost him to preterm labour at 19 weeks, five days before his 20 week scan was due. But the woman doing the scan didn’t actually have to give us anything at all, so we still treasure it.

I know it’s disappointing when others aren’t as excited or enthused, but just for perspective, she might have had several people before your appointment with terrible news. It can happen to anyone and it’s not easy for them sometimes to swipe it all away and just get on with the next person as though everything was fine. Yes, she should have been a bit more polite, but I think expectations also should be within reason.

I’m really glad you had a positive scan outcome. Many don’t, so although it wasn’t what you imagined, you got the best thing you could ever ask for. Hopefully your next one aligns with your expectations better. I’d really recommend a private scan for the kind of experience you want as I doubt it will happen on the NHS.

I'm 27 weeks pregnant with my second and during both pregnancies the only really nice and warm experience I got was when I paid for a private NIPT at quite pricey London clinics. All standard NHS scans were ranging from what you are describing to nice but impersonal.