Eating disorder during pregnancy

[mummytoonetryingfortwo]

I’m asking people to please answer this with gentle advice, I am not in the place to accept harsh criticism at the moment.

I had my little girl seven years ago, when I was 20. I put on a lot of weight and when she was six months old I got seriously into diet and fitness. I lost the weight and extra and was then sat at around 7 stone at 5 foot 4. We started to try for another baby three years ago, and I eventually decided to try and put a little bit of weight back in in order to see if it would help me conceive.

I was very active. I ran everyday, did yoga or Pilates most days and enjoyed lifting weights. This has changed since I found out I was pregnant.

I lost half a stone in the six weeks leading up to finding out I was pregnant. This was intentional. I was eight stone when I found out.

Three weeks ago I found out I was pregnant with twins. I was further along than I thought, and was pregnant with twins. Immediately I was hit with a huge fear of gaining weight. It consumed me and I was keeping my calories to 1800-2000 a day.

It feels like the weeks have flown by, but a couple of days ago my husband raised concerns about my eating. I had been so consumed by the dieting and weight loss that I was barely aware of time passing by.

My husband stepped in to stop me exercising in the way I was, and had organised appointments with dieticians and doctors.

But I feel so lost. I still have this fear, and it’s consuming me. Even now I’ve met with a dietician I still feel so afraid. It’s like I can’t break this hold. I don’t know what to do or how to get past this. We are looking into therapy but it all seems so overwhelming

Congratulations on your pregnancy! I'm really sorry to hear that you're dealing with this. Definitely take any professional advice and appointments that you can. I don't think anyone on here can really advise as it's such a sensitive/need to be professionally trained topic but we can definitely express our support.

I'm not sure if it's helpful but remember that the pregnancy weight gain is temporary and really important for the health of your babies. I guess it's thinking about and prioritising their health over how you care about your own body image - I know that's easier said than done. However also remember that the babies will take what they need from you. You can lose the weight after pregnancy like you managed to before (although hopefully in a healthy way this time).

I really hope that you manage to get some more professional support. When you have a preexisting mental health/eating disorder you can't expect it to just magically go away but you can seek support and do your best for you and your babies 💕

Thank you. I just feel so overwhelmed and like the world’s worst mum. My appointment this afternoon with a dietician was such a slap in the face.

Have you been referred to your local mental health team? I’m not sure a dietician unless they also have mental health training will be 100% helpful.
I get their support and have a psychiatrist through my pregnancy and after baby’s born.
I also ask when I’m weighed not to be told what I am. I step on the scales backwards which helps my mental health.

My GP just told me to eat a huge amount of calories and “get some meat on my bones”. I’ll be seeking private therapy but at the moment my husband’s main concern is my physical health, and now it’s mine too. We’re also likely going to be seeking private healthcare for this pregnancy (pretty much confirmed after the treatment from my GP), so the goal will be to ensure everyone can communicate with each other

Not the same situation, but I lost my last baby at 19 weeks (unexplained), and two early losses before that. My current pregnancy is so high risk that I could go into labour at any minute and I’m only 21 weeks. I’m giving this background for perspective.

Because of the stress of everything, I lost weight. When I got pregnant again this time, I lost even more weight due to sickness and food aversions. When that eased off, things had already started to go down hill and my appetite completely disappeared. I always lose weight when I’m stressed, and during pregnancy is no exception. The thing is, it isn’t good for my baby for me to be this way. It’s my problem, not my baby’s and I find it so hard to do, but I can’t let them suffer simply because I’m finding it hard myself. It’s easier said than done, but I force myself to eat. I feel sick very often, and overly full just from a small meal, but I force it down because if I don’t my baby may suffer and that is absolutely not fair. I’ve lost three already, and am at great risk of losing this one. I can’t let anything I can control threaten it as well. Does that make sense?

I think there is a choice to make. No matter what the reasons that put us off, we need to eat during pregnancy. I couldn’t live with myself if something happened right now and I knew in my brain there were things I could have done to improve my baby’s chances. Their only defence is us. We have to put our own discomforts aside. The amount of times I’ve had to sit for so long taking tiny bite after tiny bite, two hours to eat something like a sandwich, and feeling sick the whole time, but knowing if I don’t I’m not doing my best.

My heart goes out to you. You are clearly a lovely mum who cares about her babies. That’s the first step. I don’t know how helpful a dietician would be to be honest. They can tell you how many calories you need and how to get them, but it’s still a choice at the end of the day.

Pregnancy is temporary, and so is the suffering, but hopefully the joy that comes afterwards is long-lived. You can go back to diet and exercise the way you want to when it’s no longer just your body. It’s theirs to share with you at the moment. When your body asks for something, pregnancy is the one time we really have to give it that need. Wishing you the best.

I'm currently pregnant and also work professionally with people with mental health difficulties including eating disorders.

Your GP sounds very unhelpful.

Have you seen anyone from your midwife service yet? I would strongly urge you to tell your midwife about your/your husband's worries about your eating, and what the dietician said today - either at the booking appointment if it's soon, or just call the service and ask to speak to someone.

I would be very surprised if that didn't result in an urgent referral to a specialist service (either perinatal mental health or an ED service). Eating disorders in pregnancy are usually taken very seriously and you would be prioritized for treatment and support.

OP how far along are you and how are you feeling? I was just over 7st (5ft6) when I fell pregnant with DC2. My doctor was amazed I managed to conceive.

I was initially worried but I felt so nauseous for weeks 6-22 and the only thing that made me feel better was eating so I ate constantly. I was actually grateful for the nausea as I really believe it got me out of the spiral I was in.

Dear @mummytoonetryingfortwo I followed your previous thread and and am delighted that you are getting help. May be some of it is unhelpful, but please employ "stick-with-it-tude". Sending love and best wishes