Doula Advice

[mum2b1]

Hi,

I interviewed a few doulas at the start of my pregnancy and chose one.
We paid her half her fee - £300 and signed a contract stating we would get 3 antenatal visits etc etc.
I am now 30 weeks pregnant and the only times I have ever heard from her are when I email or text her with a query.
I was expecting her to be in touch at least weekly or so seeing how I was etc.
I have not developed any kind of reltionship with her and havent seen her since signing the contract months and months ago.
I am quite annoyed and worried that we have no relationship at all as yet and I am supposed to trust her and rely on her at the most important time of my life.
Any suggestions as to what we can do?
I feel so annoyed at her and feel she should be making some kind of effort with us.
My husband has suggested I ask her out for coffee but at the moment I am just angry that we arent getting what I thought we should be getting...

bump for you

sorry what does that mean??

just keeping your message in the recent conversations so that you get some answers. There are quite a few doulas on MN so you should get some answers soon.

thanks.
so where has it gone then?

I do think its unreasonable she hasn't got in touch with you. I would have thought it was important to build up some kind of relationship.

i

my doula started her antenatal visits at about 36 weeks if that reassures?

It would probably go to unanswered threads before disappearing.

I have no experience of a birth doula but would presume that the three ante natal visits you have discussed would be during the last, say, 5 or 6 weeks of your pregnancy.

I hired a post natal doula and only met her twice before I gave birth, which was what I was expecting.

As yogimum said, there are a lot of doulas who are on MN so someone will come along and give you advice soon.

Thanks.

36 weeks seems abit late to try to forge a relationship what if the baby came early?

It was never mentioned at the geginning when the visits would be.
I dunno if we should just cancel the whole thing and save ourselves the extra £350.
what is she turns out to be crap when it matters?
I feel so let down...

When I met my post natal doula I got on well with her straight away and knew I would be happy with her. If you don't feel this then I don't think you should pursue it as you will not feel comfortable giving birth with her there.

The kind of service she provides should have been discussed when you first booked her, and even if you didn't ask, she should have explained.

However, if you got on well with her and liked her, and it is only this that has put you off, I would just call her and explain that you thought you would get to know her earlier on, and perhaps try to arrange a visit soon. She may not realise there is anything wrong and just presumed you knew what to expect from her.

Hope this makes some sense!

Yeah I did feel comfortable and like I would get on with her.

I know I should email her and let her know what I expect but I worry I will piss her off or offend her...

silly I know but I worry like that.

I would definitely ring her and let her know your concerns.