HELP - Breastfeeding fail

[Hopelessmumma]

Hi Mums,

I am at my wits end trying to figure out breastfeeding with my 10 week old baby..she was born premature at 34 weeks ..there was limited support at the hospital regarding feeding but she was able to latch in the first day itself or so I thought. At day 5 weigh in, she had lost 10% of her body weight and we were quickly ready to do anything to make sure she was OK.. so they suggested feeds every 3 hours ..initially we used formula mostly but within a week or so, I figured out pumping and have been able to give her expressed breast milk until now..Ihavent had supply issues and really want to breast feed directly than having to pump 8 times a day (and wash and sterilize - you know the works 😄)
I have been trying to get her to breastfeed and she does go on my breast 2-3 times a day and feeds for 30-40 minutes but screams bloody murder within 10 minutes or so and needs a full bottle feed which makes me think she really didn't drink anything from breast.. she does do a clicking noise while feeding both from breast and bottle and no matter how ever many times, I try to latch back the clicking is mostly there... although this doesn't seem to affect her feeds from the bottle...I have tried the infant drop ins where they suggested the reclining position but my baby doesn't seem to be able to get it, they checked for tongue tie and ruled it out but i might get a second opinion on that, the last thing they said was that i had bigger nipple size than average which might alsomake it tricky for a premature baby but given she is now 10 weeks old and has been gaining weight well and is in fact above 50th percentile, i hoped she would have the strength to suck milk out of my nipples but nothing seems to have worked. ..I have really tried to plough through the last 10 weeks but the exhaustion and frustration is really really getting to me .. especially given my husband will be back to work in 2 weeks i am really hoping to figure this out somehow..any tips,positions that's worked for you, please do share ..I really want to comtinue giving breast milk for atleast 6 months so desperately looking for a solution
Thanks!!

A clicking noise is usually suggestive of a tongue tie. Please do get a second opinion as healthcare professionals are notorious for saying there’s no tongue tie or ‘feeding looks great’ when this is actually not the case. Trust your mother’s intuition.

I would get a second opinion re the tongue tie , the clicking is a dead giveaway.

If it's a tongue tie, wouldn't it affect bottle feeding as well?

Also she does the same clicking noise while bottle feeding but if i try to take the bottle out and latch her onto it with few tries, the clicking noise goes away which made me wonder if it's a latching problem.. but as i said, no amount of relatching is working when I am trying to breastfeed 😐

No experience of tongue ties - so please do check that out.

I fed preemies - 34 weeks. It was same -breast feeding & then expressed milk top ups until they got stronger. Took a while - but as I had twins and one in hospital I just had to keep going due to not physically being there.

One at home got used to bottles too much so struggled to breast feed. I tried nipple shields which helped shape the nipple better for the baby’s preference and over a longer period removed during the feeding session to the point where baby was comfortable on breast.

But again - if tongue tied get that sorted first!

Obviously not an expert but bottle teats are shaped quite differently to nipples.
An IBCLC will be worth their weight in gold to help advise you about all this, especially due to the fact your baby was a preemie.

Can you offer the boob lots more during the day, as often as possible even at times when it isn't time for a feed just to give as much practise as possible I think the advice would be to try latching every couple of hours at least so lots more times.

Who checked for tongue tie? Did they put their fingers in babies mouth to check? Clicking could be TT it could be a high palate

I would contact the breastfeeding network or your local LLL and have as many people as possible check your latch

Are you on instagram? Olivia the lactation consultant is brilliant and has so many informative posts

https://www.instagram.com/reel/DAVdW_5NyI6/?igsh=cHg4OWZnNnkwYXdn

Lol up iblcs on Instagram for advice and if you can pay to see one - they're worth it!

Can’t comment on the latch issue but my midwife said it was fine not to sterilise if it’s just breast milk, just use soap and water. And with the pump, to just wash it all once a day and put it in the fridge in a ziplock bag between pumps. You might also be able to move down to four hourly pumps now.

Hopefully you can get some help with latch but this might make pumping a bit easier in the mean time

What does your nippple look like when she stops feeding? Is it squashed in any way? Has it got any "tags" or 'wedges" from her feeding? Or is it more same shape but longer.

From your description I am thinking an anterior tongue tie this is easy to miss and yes can cause clicking sounds if bottle feeding as well as breastfeeding.

BTW you are not having breastfeeding fail you are doing utterly amazing as a mum in very difficult circumstances. You are not failing no matter what you do. You have done great for your baby.

If there is clicking, I would also strongly suggest getting a second opinion on the tongue tie.

You might have gotten lucky with the bottles you are using, as my oldest had a tongue tie which they said wouldn't matter if bottle fed but we tried two different makes and had to go up a teat size for his age before we noticed he was actually getting something. The clicking may also suggest air getting in their tummy so so don't be surprised if you have an uncomfortable, sore baby.

I am not expert but if you think it's a latching issue that could also be a sign of a tongue tie, as they can't get full use of their tongue?

It's a stressful time so I hope you get it resolved asap.

My daughter stopped part way through a feed due to reflux, if there's a tongue tie they can take in more air whilst breastfeeding which gives them reflux and discomfort. They might do this less with the bottle which is why they will then happily drink from the bottle even with clicking.
My daughter clicked with feeds and we had assessments for tongue tie but I'm now not satisfied they were adequate assessments. She's 4 now and I think I can see a tie, when she was 12 months I noticed her tongue didn't reach the roof of her mouth although she had good mobility and and out. It's become more mobile with age.

That's interesting.. so were you able to still breast feed her with that issue assuming the doctors didn't do anything to fix the tongue tie?

Yes with difficulty at time, she had feeding aversions due to the reflux and allergies and went to second length feeds with lots of screaming. Skin to skin helped. She didn't latch very well at all as she was only feeding with the tip of the nipple in her mouth. It didn't cause me pain someone desperation we continued with it.
I don't think she has a particularly bad tongue tie and she has quite a bit of dexterity in and out, it's just the up and down movement that was reduced so I think feeding was less impacted that it might have been.
Her feeding aversions returned if I had eaten something she was allergic too or if her reflux was getting out of control again. So it was quite a fine balance at time.

Definitely take the advice RE tongue tie, also remember that bottle feeding is easier for baby than breastfeeding where they have to work a little harder to get their rewards! So she might just prefer bottle feeding for simply that reason. Don’t let that put you off if you want to continue though, I combi fed my DD to 1yo.

When she latches do you feel the let-down? Its not the same for everyone but I used to get a dull ache from shoulder to boob every single time so I knew from that, that she was feeding.

Hi thanks for the kind words.. it's frustrating when you really want to do the best for your kid but somehow it doesn't work out the way you want ... regarding nipple shape, mostly it's same shape but longer after she feeds..I will look into the anterior tongue tie and bring it up at the next feed in session. Hadn't thought of that

Yeah trying to do more sessions with her since morning it's a bit hard given there is hardly any down time between pumping and feeding and skin to skin but will try to increase sessions to see if that helps ..

Regarding tongue tie, it was one of the ladies at the breastfeeding drop in sessions who checked for tongue tie.amd yes she put her finger in babys mouth.is there anyone else in should be getting it checked with? Like a gp? Or you mean going private to a lactation consultant? Also do you know if you can get a referral in nhs for a lactation consultation or its only private?

Thanks for the insta profile of the LC .. will take a look ❤️

There are LCs in the nhs it's just a bit of a lottery if you find a good one, ask your HV, you should have a local feeding clinic you can attend,

Sorry for such a unempathetic post (as I was breastfeeding at 5am 🤣) I really hope you get the support you need, I had such a hard time the first few weeks with both of mine it was not easy at all. I had thought I was so easy about bottle feeding before I had my babies and then suddenly had a big urge to breastfeed that I wasn't expecting (which made the pain and struggle 100 times worse)

Is there a local breastfeeding support group in your area? I went to one with my first and honestly without their kindness and support I think my breastfeeding journey would have ended in the first few weeks. Instead I’m still feeding my first at 2yo and the journey with my second has been a lot smoother. I still go to the group most weeks but these days it’s mostly for coffee and cake 😁

I’d also agree with others, the clicking does sound indicative of a tongue tie so I’d definitely get a second opinion. The other thing I wondered was when you’re bottle feeding are you paced feeding? This mimics breastfeeding and makes it less likely for the baby to develop a preference to bottles over breast. There’s a good guide on the Kellymom website if you need it https://kellymom.com/bf/pumpingmoms/feeding-tools/bottle-feeding/

No problem at all... we are all in the thick of it so totally understand 😄

Yes I went to one of them today.. they were very supportive and provided a lot of guidance.. they checked again and ruled out tongue tie ... they were very kind it has given me a bit more positivity to continue trying and see how i get on.. they also suggested to comtinue visiting even after I sort out breastfeeding just to socialise and chat with other mom's who are going through the same stuff 😄

And yes I am doing paced feeding so she doesnt gulp a whole bottle in 5 mins 😂

Oh well done OP glad you saw someone, keep putting the advice into practice and as annoying as it can be if the latch doesn't feel right take baby off and put them back on again