What would you say to a MIL who keeps trying to guess if you’re pregs?

[annabelfr]

We’ve been trying for years and I’m finally pregnant.
My MIL has a habit lately of saying things like “LOOK!! Come look at the sign!!” to me, and the sign will say “pregnant women advised to avoid the area with the goats” for example (risk of infection). I wasn’t pregnant at the time and just said something stupid like “yep, great sign”.
or “hmmm not interested in the feta salad, are you?”

were going away for a short trip with them next weekend and this time I AM pregnant but don’t want to tell them yet (only 1st trimester). How do I respond to her comments? I don’t want to confirm (because don’t want to tell her) or deny (because don’t want to jinx by saying I’m not pregnant and then it comes true) but I do want to shut her up. Not being outright rude, so not “shut up” “that’s rude to ask”, just standing up for myself

I think I'd say something like, "when we are lucky enough to get pregnant, we'll be waiting to tell others until we're ready." If asked when that would be, I'd say after the 12 week scan.

Do what you normally do.
If you go there this time and behave in a different way, she'll guess.

Congrats BTW.

Congratulations on your pregnancy OP.

Has your husband had a word with her? Could he not say, "Please don't ask @annabelfr if she's pregnant or make any comments about pregnancy, you do this all the time and it makes her really uncomfortable."

Normally I just say something quietly and feel crap about it like “yeah I see the sign”, then wish I’d speak up for myself and say something like “yep, great sign but wildly irrelevant, unless… you’re… you’re not are you?”

He says he has but I just know he’s ever so careful around her and panders to her, can’t say a word wrong to her, so I just struggle to believe he has

Just eye roll and ignore.

In that case could you say it yourself?

"MIL, please stop constantly making remarks about pregnancy to me. I've asked DH to tell you to stop because it makes me really uncomfortable and he tells me he has, but you keep doing it. Just stop."

I'd give her a funny look and say, 'Why are you showing me this?' in bemused tones.

Make her answer. And whatever answer she gives simply say something neutral like, 'Ok,' or 'Really'.

Don't give her anything.

I'd tell her I was pregnant in your shoes.

She sounds like somebody who is going to be very, let's say, involved, when she finds out you're pregnant.
I'd suggest not making your husband create those boundaries with her if clearly it isn't working.
You need to set those boundaries yourself.
Tell her to stop making such comments it's actually horrible and inconsiderate when you're in the thick of ttc.

Congratulations though,

Also tell her to get her facts straight and the feta salad is perfectly fine as most feta these days is made with pasteurised milk.

Don't worry mil, if I get pregnant, once we are ready to tell people you will be the first to know.

My parents have asked me frequently about babies literally since being 18! Slightly easier as they ask about babies and not pregnancy and my reply was always no one really knows for sure until they are carrying the baby home from the hospital.

Despite the frequent questions I have managed to surprise them twice announcing pregnancies at 16 weeks and keep two unsuccessful pregnancies from them!

How would she respond if you got upset and said something along the lines of "thanks for reminding me about my lack of pregnancy"?