Too old for a baby?

[Lacatrina]

What age is too old to have a baby?

It's not your age, it's your security, health and ability.

My first will be born when I’m 42. It’s no longer weird and lots of friends are having babies over 35
i don’t look or feel 42 i have security, a good job, financal security, a loving husband and I wouldn’t have been ready until a bit older.

i would say late 40’s onwards

It depends. Some people in their late 40s have good health, good finances and are well settled. They can be great parents.

This. Plus, 42 isn't old nowadays. Plus - congratulations!

Honestly, I think 50+ is almost always a bit too old. There are definitely exceptions though, so ultimately depends on the person

40 and over. Our bodies are made to reproduce younger. We'll have teenagers in our 60s if we wait too late. Higher rate of birth defects. Higher chance of not seeing our grandchildren.

I know there are some advantages but we're pushing biology beyond it's natural limits and there are questions of bioethics about this.

I’m 42 and although mentally and emotionally I feel like I could have a baby, I wouldn't because I think physically it would near enough kill me off. Plus, the thought of being responsible for someone until I am 60 is horrendous.

My husband’s cut-off date was 35. He said he didn’t want to be a new father after that age.

From a Midwife's viewpoint the majority of age related risk factors I've seen in practice happen in the 45+ age bracket (work in antenatal inpatients). But it is never a blanket statement and I would never judge or have an opinion as everyone's situation is different. Just statistically I think you'd encounter more health related issues from that point on. Lots more to consider than just pregnancy complications though, like fitness, energy levels, financial stability, support system.

If our bodies are made to reproduce younger how come many women in their 40s get pregnant with no issue . Judgemental much.

I'm 65, post menopausal and haven't felt this good for years. I've more energy than I had in my 40s. I'm still teaching teenagers in a non selective secondary school. I didn't have a baby in my 40s, but could easily deal with a teenager now.

I had my second when I was 41. She didn't sleep (ADHD) and I was so exhausted for years. But beyond those early high dependency years, it has made no difference being 10 years older than the average mum. I am now 62 and she is graduating from uni at 21. We probably won't retire until she is in a proper graduate job and can fully support herself, but that is the only issue at this stage.

In terms of future years, I am aware of my own mortality and potentially dying before my children are fully established, which does bother me. My DPs died young (61 and 62) and both their deaths floored me, so I would like to live long enough to see both my DC settled with supporting partners. I don't have any feelings about grandchildren - my DC never knew my parents, so I don't think they'd have any expectation around this.

I really think it depends on circumstances. I’m 43 and feel like no way would I want another baby now, but I already have 2. If I’d never had kids I would try at my age. I think any age you can do it naturally is fine so probably late 40s is the max age for most women.

1st at 42, 2nd at 45. I was very healthy, and exercised regularly, luckily I was in London and had access to lots of checks and scans for our 1st.
We had moved when I became pregnant with our second, we had to pay for a nuchal fold test, as they weren't routine in that area.

@Lacatrina since you started the thread, maybe you can give your thoughts?

35-38

Fully agree with this. If you're capable of raising a happy, healthy child then it's not for anyone else to say what's "too old". There's a lot of amazing older parents out there, it's all about the individual

Personally, my cut-off was 40. My goal was to have all my children before that age, which I managed (just!).
I didn’t want to take any risk going beyond that age. That was my personal decision and not a reflection on what others choose to do.

I wouldn’t want to be over 50 and having a baby because of the risk of dying young and leaving a very young child without its mother. One of my friends died at 58.

Other than that it really depends on the individual. I had my children at 27 and 30 and now I’m 37. I can’t imagine having a baby now because we are well out of that stage, but that’s nothing to do with my age. My own mum had me (her first/only child) at 42.

I’m 41. I feel like I could physically and mentally have another but I’m enjoying the freedoms having older children comes with. I was 2 and done at 34. Also the baby stage doesn’t bother me at this age but thought of still doing school runs at 50 fills me with dread. We’re planning on doing a big trip to the states for our 50th’s, we want to do Washington, New England and New Orleans. Pretty sure my then 20 year old and 17 year old will have no interest in coming. I would not want to be dealing with a toddler in my mid 40s. I think to each their own but early 40s is probably the last age for a baby i would not raise an eyebrow at.

But that is literally what this thread is about. Asking opinions and this is my opinion.

That’s not an opinion. It’s an untrue statement

Thank you!

i would have been a little younger but suffered consecutive miscarriages ….not because of my age.

so anyone judging …if a woman is a bit older just remember it may have taken a while to get to a healthy pregnancy

I do find MN judgy for most things but especially ‘older’ mums.
im glad I waited until I met the right person to have kids with, it took me until my mid 30s, it’s pot luck when you find that person.
i also fall pregnant easily so clearly my ability to be fertile is fine if you want to use that argument.
ive had several miscarriages due to undiagnosed immune disorder. This was very traumatic but with the right help i now have a healthily pregnancy.
so I wouldn’t have been 42 having my first if I’d known this rare disorder which wasn’t my fault and therefore ppl shouldn’t judge my age as a first time mum.

I really hate the attitude well I wouldn’t have a kid after 35 etc and then they go on to say I had my three kids at 25…. Well good for you but how dare anyone have three healthy pregnancies and then tell older women they can’t have the same because it doesn’t fall into their ideal age bracket 🙄

I just had my first at the tail end of 42!