Husband is reacting badly to lack of sex whilst pregnant

[Empop92]

I have found since becoming pregnant I have zero sex drive. I haven't had an easy pregnancy. I had severe morning sickness and am still taking medication at 24 weeks. I am tried all the time, suffered miscarriage first time so full of anxiety at every turn and I just don't feel sexy. Everything is more tight and it feels really uncomfortable the bigger I am. My husband initiates sex and I really try but he says I am basically recoiling from him and it's making him feel really bad about himself and has low self esteem. I find it hard to talk to him about it and explain it's nothing to do with him I just feel this way. I tried to talk to him now and it's lead to him seeming very annoyed and he said he can feel however he wants about it, it's my issue and not everything is about me and stormed off. I am left in tears and really confused. I don't know what I can do. Has anyone else had issues whilst pregnant and how do you go about broaching this with someone. I feel very alone.

He needs to grow up and use his right hand.

What a twat. Tell him to piss off and that you'll have sex when you feel like it, not when he guilts you in to doing it 🤨

What a nasty piece of work! There is not a single female animal out there that tolerates sex during pregnancy. It's natural to have no interest - it's basic biology. If a husband is lucky enough to have a wife who fancies it, then great but he simply has no right to expect it.

Jesus, what a twat he is

OP, do not reproduce again with this complete and utter arsehole. He clearly doesn't give two shits about you or the baby. He only cares about himself and his dick. Everything you are feeling is perfectly normal in pregnancy and everything he is saying is wrong and vile. Tell him to go fuck himself (literally). How did you end up with this creep?

So what he's saying is he's selfish, lacks respect for the mother of his child and doesn't care about your feelings or comfort. What a piece of work🤦🏼‍♀️ Does he want this baby? You're literally growing his child you'd think he can do without sex for a short period of time. Ffs where do these kind of men get the nerve. Tell him in no uncertain terms how you feel. He's using sexual coercion by getting angry about it. I'd show him the door tbh, if he can't be considerate at one of the most vulnerable times in your life, it doesn't bode well for all the challenges to come.
Is this on form for him? Is he usually such a pig?

Oh dear. This is always a major red flag that a partner is not going to be a helpful and supportive father or generally decent human being. A lot of men really start to show their ‘real selves’ during pregnancy when suddenly their life changes in even a very small way and it continues and worsens when the baby arrives.

Don’t be pushed into anything, it’s absolutely fine and normal not to want to have sex during pregnancy. We barely had sex during my pregnancies and DH never even mentioned it.

Well he’s expressed his rather unattractive emotions about it, so now presumably he can work out how to deal with them. Not your circus…

He sounds extremely self centred. If he is so focussed on himself now he will probably be 100 times worse when the baby arrives and your focus has to be on someone else.
I think you need to have a very serious conversation with him about how everything isn't about him.

I am so sorry for you op, what a time to find out that the person you married and are having a child with is utterly selfish. You’re in pain as a result of the fact that you’re growing his baby and all he can think of is himself.

you have some serious thinking to do about what to do going forward.

personally, through the benefit of experiences, I would call it a day now. This isn’t going to get any better and it might be better for your child to start as you will go on.

What a silly man , sounds very immature, how old is he ?How is he going to cope when you have just given birth ?

Selfish empathyless and compassionless aresehole.

You're emotionally anxious after your loss

Physically uncomfortable because PREGNANT

Hormonally elsewhere (because the whole point of a sex drive is to GET pregnant, whether we like to believe it or not)

And the biggest turnoff for women is when our partners are 'everything is about meeeeeeee and my peeeeeeeeen ..... why won't you service meeeeeee??? 😭'

Has he considered how it will be when you're healing, exhausted, all touched out, etc etc etc?

In a few months a whole other person will be at the centre of your universe. Not him. Has he given that a thought? I think this behaviour may only be a trailer for the full show you'll be getting once that happens.

Can’t stand these angry men sulking over sex

I’m petty AF so I’d be saying “oh babes! That’s awful for you! Tell you what, if you could gestate the baby for our shag sesh, that works for me” and then deadpan him

I wonder if he has given any thought to how long he'll go without sex if he leaves his pregnant partner for lack of it? Talk about a turn off! He, quite rightly, should be celibate for years.

Tell him if he doesn’t like how you react to him instigating sex you don’t want then he should stop instigating sex you don’t want. You can also tell him not to base his self esteem on the sex drive of a pregnant, sick and hormonal woman who is growing his child and that it would be helpful if he didn’t prioritise his own needs in this situation.

What an insensitive creep 😠 you are not responsible for his moods or his self esteem. I'm not surprised that the last thing you feel like is sex. I was very sick during all my pregnancies and we didn't have sex for months. Not only did my DH not pester me for sex, he felt sorry that I was feeling so grim and did what he could to look after me. Tell your partner to grow up and go and have a wank and stop being such a selfish bastard!

Ask him to ask his mother and father if his father badgered his mother for sex whilst she was pregnant with him. 😕

Unfortunately he has failed you as a husband at the first hurdle.

It doesn't bode well for when the baby is born and you will be given your sole attention to your baby. He's going to be even more petulant and get angry with you for not paying him attention.

He needs another man to tell him what a selfish and unkind prat he is being. Do you have a good male role model who he would listen to?

I would ask him how his small fragile ego is going to cope when the baby is here, sex will definitely be off the table for a while and there will be a child that will always be prioritised. I can't believe he even needs to be told that his pregnant wife who is still being medicated for morning sickness wouldn't exactly be in the mood. I'd tell him that imagining how selfish he will be as a father is actually making him unattractive and what's went from a personal stumbling block to sex has been added to by the complete ick he's given you

If you stay with him op, I can tell you precisely how this will pan out, if you’d like.

you will have a gorgeous baby who will be utterly dependent on you (or any adult) simply to survive. As a result of the fact that she would die without you, you will prioritise her like any decent parent. I’m afraid her father won’t, he doesn’t have the capacity to. She will get in the way of him having sex whenever he wants, after all that’s his right as he is a man and his wants must come first at all times. This will be your fault. He’ll have an affair, probably is already, citing that ‘you never pay him any attention.’

Your husband's behaviour is awful, and I second what others have said that it doesn't bode well for what he's going to be like once the baby gets here. I can count on one hand the number of times DH and I have had sex during my pregnancy. At the beginning I was too anxious and focused on the viability of the pregnancy to think about sex, in the middle I was interested but often tired, and now I'm in final trimester I'm far too uncomfortable to even consider it. Not once has DH even mentioned it.

How is your husband going to be when your attention is on your DC instead of him? Or when you're in recovery from childbirth and not physically able to have sex? He's really showing his true colours and I wouldn't have the confidence in him to be a supportive husband and father.