41 + 1 feeling defeated

[Millennial13]

Hi everyone,

I’m 41+1 weeks pregnant today (FTM) and starting to feel really defeated! I had prepared myself to be overdue but didn’t realise how mentally draining it would be. I really don’t want to be induced and luckily I have a supportive midwife who isn’t pushing it at the moment but I know I’ll have to make a decision on next steps soon.

I had a sweep on Friday, cervix was thinning and I was about 1 and a half cm dilated and she could feel babies head. Have another booked in the morning but midwife said she would be surprised if I didn’t have the baby this weekend - which got my hopes up even though I think she was just trying to help me feel more positive. I have had several nights over last two weeks of waking up with cramps, I’ve got back ache and just feeling really uncomfortable, but it doesn’t seem to lead to anything. Everyone I know from antenatal groups/NCT have had their babies now, even someone who was due on the same date but gave birth a week early…I’m so happy for them all but it’s hard being the only one still waiting/being in this situation. I just want to meet my little boy!

I guess I’m just looking for some reassurance/to hear other people’s stories from being at this point. How did you keep going!?

Hey op. I feel you. I was very emotional - I went up to my induction date twice. Can I suggest doing the deed if you haven't already? Can't hurt to try! Worked for us.

Wishing you the best of luck 🤞

Ugh it’s mental torture isn’t it. I went 11 days over, only had a sweep at 10 days over to avoid induction! I tried to think of it as, ‘no matter what I’m going to meet baby in less than 2 weeks’. Made me focus on the definitive end point instead of the uncertainty! Good luck op.

The due date is fake! You are not overdue, you are in the normal range of having a baby. Induction is more painful and the baby and you don't get a chance to release the hormones they need to make the birth go better. Just change your mindset to say it will be 42, then any earlier will be a bonus. Due date was designed to torture us, invented by a man.

I was in this position with my first. I would stay off your phone for a bit, I found the anxiety of finding out everyone having babies around me (NCT and mumsnet group) really difficult. Also with friends and MIL messaging how I was getting on.
Do things that you find relaxing, a long bath with a podcast, try stay active and watch lots of funny films or box sets. The anxiety about it not being here won't be helping, but that's really difficult to control.
I'm due my second in three weeks and all of the above is what I didn't do last night and will be doing this time!

Thanks everyone! I tried to switch off last night and watch a lighthearted series, had a nice dinner, a walk and a good sleep (for the first time in a while) and my waters ended up breaking first thing this morning! There’s still a chance of induction if I don’t labour naturally in next 24 hours but fingers crossed things progress!

I've been where you are three times before. I had my first two at 41 +6 and my 3rd at 41 +3. I had three sweeps each with my first two and two sweeps with my 3rd. With all of them I went into early labour within a couple of hours of having the final sweep.
It's a mental game at the moment. Just try and remember that your baby doesn't have a calendar in there and they'll be here in their own time. No one stays pregnant forever. You do have the option of induction if you want, but there are risks to inductions as well as possible benefits.

Good luck!

https://www.sarawickham.com/articles-2/five-questions-to-ask-if-youre-offered-induction-of-labour/