Constantly worrying that I’m going to have another miscarriage

[Saxfie2021]

Hi guys!

Im currently 5 weeks pregnant. I lost out last pregnancy at 6 weeks and 2 days.

Its taken us two years to conceive baby number #2.

Every toilet trip I’m worried about finding blood. I even woke up at 2 in the morning convinced I was bleeding… I wasn’t.

How do I deal with this anxiety? Pregnancy after miscarriage is so hard.

I have two blood tests next week to check my HCG levels and I’ve been booked in for an early scan on the 17th May.

I just want this so badly. Worried this is all going to come plummeting down and I’m not sure I can deal with another loss.

Oh I’ve been there and feel for you so much. First of all, your feelings are totally valid. I would absolutely love to tell you “Oh, you just do X, Y and Z and those thoughts will all go away”, but unfortunately I think they will always be with you to some extent. Once you’ve known loss, you’re never quite the same. In saying that, what you can keep in mind is that this is a NEW pregnancy; a fresh chance. There is absolutely NOTHING to say this one won’t work out. So many women have experienced loss and then gone on to have healthy pregnancies. So why won’t this be the one for you? The odds are actually in your favour, regardless of whether or not you’ve had losses before. Try and think that way if possible. Also, try and keep yourself busy, mentally, and care for yourself - little pamper days, good food and company etc. Sending you lots of care and positive thoughts. X

edit: editing to add that if these thoughts do get on top of you, please tell the midwives/your GP. We have fantastic perinatal mental health teams and talking therapies you can be referred to. Don’t suffer in silence.

You just kinda hope for the best. I was convinced I was gonna lose the pregnancy again but I’m now almost 17 weeks. Although this pregnancy has been hard and I’ve been spotting for no reason for the past month I still feel a lot less anxious than at the start and have started buying things for the baby. What helps me most is the home fetal doppler and I listen to the heartbeat everyday.

Such a hard time, I’ve been there too @Saxfie2021. The only thing that helps is time.

You can ask your GP to refer you to EPU for a reassurance scan, they won’t do it until 6 or 7 weeks though. In the meantime rest, try to eat sensibly, and do nice distracting things.

I completely relate to this. I lost my last pregnancy in 2023 and this time around it's been constant anxiety. Every time I go to the toilet I'm expecting blood, and I get stressed at each symptom or lack of symptom. You're definitely not alone 💕

What helped me was just focussing on the next scan, and I did have a couple of private scans when the anxiety got too much.

One thing I can say is that it does get easier. At 22 weeks I finally told my parents I'm pregnant, and I'm starting to lose the worst of the fear. I suspect it will never completely go away, but if you take one day at a time, it does lessen. X

I was the same. Unfortunately it didn’t improve much. I was worried until the day I gave birth. Every trip to the bathroom was stressful. It only got worse later as I was worried about the pregnancy symptoms coming and going. About baby movements getting weaker or disappearing for a day. And now after my baby was born seeing my period blood brings this stress back. I wish I could say I knew how to deal with this anxiety.

just keep reminding yourself that you only know what you know today. Today you are pregnant and all is well. Just keep telling this to yourself daily. That’s how I coped. Also I had many additional private scans to reassure myself that all is going well.

sending you love.