1 month postpartum query

[OnePerkyOliveBiscuit]

Hello mums!
I am pregnant with my first child and have no idea about all things babies.
If your due date was 30 November, how would you feel about your parents from overseas coming to stay with you for a week over Christmas for a holiday? I don’t know how 3-4 weeks postpartum feels.

I know this is really unhelpful but it’s just impossible to say! With my first child I had an instrumental delivery but absolutely punched back, driving cooking, cleaning doing everything without much issue after I’d say two weeks. With my second I had an emergency section at 33 weeks and was hospitalised with him for a month. I know you say parents are overseas so presumably want to plan but is there any way you could just wait and see and they could come over last minute if you feel up to it?

It depends a lot on what your parents are like. Will they expect you to run around after them whilst they monopolise the baby which will likely be very difficult, or will they come and take over the cookng and the washing and encourage you to sit on the sofa cuddling your baby?

Agree with this post. You need support not two grown up babies to wait on.

Things can take a while. For me it took 6 weeks to get breastfeeding properly established (tongue tie, cranial osteopath, lots of support groups etc) and it was very consuming and involved a lot of time sitting around topless 😅
In myself I was pretty okay after a month.

I think whether it would work depends on them a lot. Would they be able to make themselves scarce if you needed that to take the pressure off? Other family to see? Bit tricky to just turf them out in winter.

Another consideration for me is whether Christmas would be the best time. If your partner has gone back to work but is off for Christmas maybe you'll want immediate family time. And have to see their family too? It might be nicer for you to have your folks in January when your partner is working and there's less social stuff on generally. Also takes away the pressure of hosting Christmas?

Wouldn't say no but worth thinking through 😊

Absolutely fine. I never wanted the "bubble" thing people talk about. My parents came to stay on day 2 with DC1 and with DC2 PIL were there when I got home because it was Christmas. It was nice.

Some people have parents who are shit though and that would be different.

I also agree with this. Mine are well meaning but not that helpful so I suggested they didn’t come until at least 2 months. We would have found hosting too much at 3-4 weeks as we were both exhausted and just having very basic meals etc. Also depends on whether you would want them around if struggling with recovery after a difficult birth or struggling to establish feeding.

I felt fine, my family live abroad and I wanted them to see the baby so they were over earlier than that.
Then I flew to them at 6 weeks.
Honestly I don’t know anyone in real life who hibernated away for months after having a baby.

It depends on if they are going to help you or expect to be hosted. My parents came over for 2 weeks at 3 weeks and it was great to get extra help and more sleep.

Really depends, but if they're coming to muck in and support you, rather than you needing to host, then sounds good. My mum stayed with us for 3 weeks after baby was born to help which was great. But when parents-in-law visited from abroad at 8 weeks, I needed lots of time off from socialising to work on breastfeeding.

I had my DS on 30/11! to be fair it was a rough birth, I needed a blood transfusion and he was in NICU for a week.
Christmas that year was the day at my (local) parents where I spent the day breastfeeding and eating my Mum's Christmas dinner one handed. There is no way I would have been ready for house guests - even if they did absolutely everything.

Also your due date may be 30/11 - your baby could arrive on 13/12 .....

Op keep in mind you may end up going over your due dates so could be only 1-2 weeks post partum.

My sister booked to come stay with me for 3 nights 18 days after my due date but it ended up being only 11 as I went a week over and truthfully as nice as it was to have her here, it made it harder to get into a routine with the baby.

Currently PP with my second and my parents are very helpful. However, I must admit I was slightly relieved to see them leave. I was keen to have my own space as it felt overwhelming again this time round, despite having done it once before and despite them staying in a hotel to sleep. I’d maybe compromise on a few days only. But then I’m someone who finds normality and routine (as much as one can have with a toddler and newborn!) calming. Congratulations!

This. My parents came to stay 2 weeks pp and it was the best thing ever. They stayed for 3 weeks and I wished they could stay longer.