I don't know what to do!

[PopTheKettleOnx]

Hi all! First post and I'm hoping someone can make me feel better and give me a clearer view.

I recently discovered I'm pregnant, I have two older children already a teen and pre teen and as I'm in my mid 30s with existing fertility issues it's come as a shock. I've been with the dad since I was a teenager myself and he's the father to our other daughters so he's overjoyed meanwhile I have my doubts

Not to say I will not love this child with my entire being and move mountains if I could but I'm really concerned about the effect on family dianamics - myself and both children do things together separately often, and myself and partner get time together alone often. I would hate for them to feel pushed out or like they've lost their mum for a while and I don't intend to have live in baby sitters either.

We could make another bedroom with our dinning room if needs must I wouldn't expect them to share bedrooms if not needed so we are losing space which isn't so much of a big deal I guess?

And I'm concerned about money, we're ok now but I will be losing out on more than half my wage each week. I've clocked the cost of nappies this week! When did they get so expensive!?

I just feel we all got to a point where life was working out pretty well and our relationships where great (as great as they can be with teenagers)

I want the honest truth from mums who have found themselves in similar situations, I don't want to be told to abort, but how your own experiences panned out and what advice you can offer a mum who's mind is spiralling when it should be filled with excitement!

Thank you.

I'd say your pre teen will find it hardest. I really reaaaaally wanted to be the best big sister ever to my little brother (large age gap) but wasn't quite old enough to understand that babies just want their mum and so despite my best efforts he just didn't want to know me for a long time. Sadly by the time he did a few years later I wasn't interested as I felt really hurt by the perceived rejection. It's a lot for a child - hell, it's a lot for a lot of dads to process! So I'd just be wary of that dynamic.

Thank you I appreciate your response! Both have asked for years for a little sibling, ive always said absolutely not no more it's become a big of an on going joke especially after we've had a couple of babies born into the family. Which they absolutely dote on and adore, I'm hoping they'd be excited when the news is announced to them but I'm so worried the impact of my relationship with both of them.

Theres big age gaps between myself and siblings too 20 & 14 years between us with me being the youngest, I don't have much of a bond with my oldest siblings but me and the middle are quite close which makes me even more wary of emotions etc too

My babies came along when my older kids were 9 and 12 and they have a good relationship now- and there was 15/12 years with the youngest one…

It works. Babies are portable… mine came to teenage hobbies and concerts with us and I also made sure to get some time without babies too.

having younger siblings mean the older ones get to revisit things they’ve outgrown like soft play and zoo parks etc. and enjoy it through their siblings.

This has put a really positive spin on things and I never thought about them reliving their younger years again. Thank you