Missed miscarriage - options

[lozcheeks]

Hi,

Would anyone be willing to share their experiences? I have had a missed miscarriage and have been given some time to decide what option to choose in how to manage it. I am really torn in what would be best.

Swaying towards surgical mainly as I have a child so it allows me to know exactly when it will be happening. But I am terrified of the thought of it to be honest. But I am unsure if I could handle waiting and not knowing when it will happen either.

I went with the medical management (tablets) was pretty painful but I would probably chose this again over surgery - surgery terrifies me for some reason!

I took the tablets at the hospital (by mouth, vagina and anal🙈) came home and within hours it was over with. The hospital provided me with strong painkillers which helped.

sorry you are having to go through this 🩷

So sorry for your loss.

This happened with my first pg. I opted for medical management but hugely regretted it- so much constant bleeding, huge clots and being afraid of what I’d see in the clots. Emotionally it had me all over the place. Worst of all, it wasn’t even successful which meant I had the surgical procedure as well.

Honestly, I’d definitely recommend the surgical route over the medical. It was only after the medical route failed that they told me the failure rate is higher than you’d think, which means you end up going through both.

The surgical route was very straightforward and painless.

So sorry…I chose surgical, it was over very quickly and I was pain free and ready to go home immediately afterwards.

Thanks so much for the replies, I really appreciate it. And I'm very sorry for your losses also.

I had read that the medicated option is more likely to work if you've already experienced some bleeding, but I haven't had any at all so far. I'd hate to go down that route just to end up in surgery anyway.

I can't decide if I'd prefer it to happen at home where I'm comfortable, or if I would actually find that more traumatic. I feel a bit all over the place in my thinking.

I had surgery and am really pleased I did. I have older children plus a busy job so couldn’t have managed the risk of days of uncertainty with expectant or medical management. I had also had enough of being prodded so wanted it all over while I was asleep. While the whole process was quite upsetting, surgery really couldn’t have been smoother and the physical recovery afterwards was pretty much immediate. I would definitely take that option again if I needed to.

The worst thing about surgery was I was on a ward full of women having terminations, the irony was not lost, and one in particular going on about how inconvenient socially it would be for her to have a baby. I was in pieces already...

That’s terrible, I don’t think thats how they should do it…luckily it wasn’t the case for me.

Sorry for your loss ❤️ I had medical management because I'd read that surgery can have tiny risk to future pregnancies and I'm quite risk averse. I wanted medical management in hospital (a tablet in hospital on the Tuesday, go home, come in on the Thursday for the other tablets and to pass everything). The universe had other ideas and it all happened at home on the Wednesday, so no hospital stay in the end. Had to go in the Thursday for a scan to check everything was gone.

I don't think I could have managed expectant management and didn't want the D&C. I think I'd go again for hospital medical management in - it was scary having it happen at home but EPAU were on the phone when we needed advice, so it wasn't too bad. I was up and about on the Thursday, so zero time needed to recover physically.

There's an amazing mc thread which has loads of practical support on what you could expect - sharing here in case helpful.

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/miscarriage/1344311-Tips-for-coping-with-the-practicalities-of-miscarriage?latest=1

I’m so sorry. My mmc had stopped growing at 11 weeks. I went for surgery, I was too scared to take the tablets as I was quite far along. The surgery was very straightforward as was my recovery. If it had been earlier in the pregnancy I might have chosen tablets but the hospital also recommended the surgery in my case. One bad thing was I had to wait almost 2 weeks for the surgery. It was really tough waiting for it.

I went for the medical management as couldn't stand thought of surgery. It was a very sad time and I was very worried about the pain. Started withing a few hours of taking the tablets, I took paracetamol when I took them so it was already in my system and the pain wasn't bad at all. I'm sorry you're going through this it's the worst club to be in. Soon it will be a distant memory.

Sorry for your loss OP 🥺

I’ve done both medical and surgical management and would choose surgical again if I had to, especially considering I’ve got other children to think about.

Go in, go to sleep, Dr does his/her business, wake up, go home. I wasn’t in much pain/discomfort afterwards, bleeding was very light and completely stopped within a couple of days.

Medical management was hell for me. The pain was severe, bleeding lasted for weeks. And I think all of that made the emotional impact of what was happening even worse because it was so drawn out.

Imo it may depend if you have given birth or not...when I was very young I mc and had a d&c.
Later in life post dc I had a mmc at 8 weeks.
Resulted in actually timeable contractions and the urge to push. What followed was an intact perfect feotus.. With cord and sac... Bleeding and pains subsided quite soon after. I didn't see a medic... Mw was happy via text to discharge me. Unfortunately she didn't do a decent job and I got a scan appointment in the post..
Personally I didn't want to see anyone..

I am so sorry for your loss. Ihad the surgery as I had no symptoms whatsoever but actually got injured in surgery. That’s a miniscule risk but it did happen to me so I wish I would have taken the chance to avoid the surgery.

I'm sorry for your loss. I had a missed miscarriage almost 11 years ago. I had the surgical option as I didn't want to wait for it to happen on it's own. It's the option I would take if I had another missed miscarriage in the future, the only physical pain I had was mild period type pains. Hope you have loads of support through this.

I choose to miscarry naturally. My pregnancy stopped progressing around 6 weeks and I found out at the 8 week ultrasound. Had a repeat ultrasound at 9 weeks to confirm no growth. I started bleeding 2 days later and passed the tissue 5 days after bleeding started. I knew that day the process has started because of consistent cramping that was ongoing for about 4-5 hours before I started gushing blood and passing clots. It took about 3 hours for everything to pass although I did have some retained tissue but that also passed on its own in the next 3 days.

Sorry this has happened to you OP. I am going through a MMC at the moment too, I’m at 10 weeks now but it probably stopped before 6 weeks. Having surgical management tomorrow, chose that option as I’ve had no bleeding or signs it will start in its own anytime soon, and I’ve got a toddler and work I want to get back to as soon as possible. Will see how it goes tomorrow, feeling nervous tonight but keen to get it over with now.

I’m so sorry you’re going through this. I had a natural miscarriage at 12 weeks after the baby had stopped growing at 6 weeks, and it was a really difficult experience, made worse by complications that led to a hospital stay overnight. I had a toddler at home and no nearby family, so my partner had to stay with our toddler while I was in the hospital alone. For my second missed miscarriage, I chose surgical management. Even though it was still incredibly hard, being able to plan ahead around my toddler made a huge difference. I didn’t have the added stress of worrying when the miscarriage would happen or how we would manage everything with our child. It also helped that it was all over in a day, which made it feel less traumatic.

I had medical management for a pregnancy that ended at 9.2 weeks, no bleeding beforehand and like you I wanted to know when it would happen. As I was close to 10 weeks the hospital decided to keep me in to do it there rather than send me home. It all happened within an hour of taking the second lot of tablets I was given strong painkillers and anti sickness meds. It was very straightforward the bleeding wasn’t too bad afterwards just like a very heavy period but I noticed if I tried to do too much the bleeding got worse so I put my feet up for a few days.

i was going to opt for surgical as I’d heard horror stories about medical management but I would have had to wait another week for an appointment .

I’m so sorry for your loss.

I had surgical management for a missed miscarriage last week. I’d had no symptoms at all. I chose it for a few reasons and I still feel it was the right choice for me. I have a toddler so it was easier to plan around. I really wanted to know that it was over and done with, and it was the option that seemed to carry the most certainty in terms of timeframes and what would happen.

It was just over an hour from being given the general anaesthetic to being back in my side room up on the ward. Recovery physically has been pretty quick.

I really hope I never have to, but I’d take the surgical option again if I needed to.

Wishing you all the best whatever you decide.

I’ve had two MMC in the last year. I had medical management the first time round. I hadn’t had any bleeding before the scans confirmed no heartbeat so chose medical because I was scared of anaesthetic (too much greys anatomy!). I had a large amount of bleeding prior to the second dose that I wasn’t prepared for (was told to expect spotting until the second dose). I was flooding pads so was sent to A&E but luckily didn’t need treatment for the blood loss. Then I had a weird reaction to the second dose where I was dizzy and nauseated so I was stuck in the office of the EPU for a while until it passed. The pain wasn’t as bad as I was expecting, heavy bleeding lasted around a week. Lighter bleeding after that. After this I felt the effects of bleeding so much with lightheadedness and breathlessness but started taking iron supplements and improving my diet which helped.

The second time around I opted for surgery. I went in first thing, waited until early afternoon for an opening and I was back in my room within an hour. Stayed until approx 6pm then went home. Unfortunately I developed an infection which meant I had a lot of pain post procedure. They gave me a load of antibiotics and it was better within the week. I felt myself again quicker than the medical management.

Im hoping that I never have to do it again but in the worst case scenario I would do surgery again. I was just unlucky to develop an infection, if I hadn’t then the recovery would have been much shorter.

I’m so sorry you’re going through this. Look after yourself x

Hi @lozcheeks, to start with I’m so sorry, it’s so sad isn’t it?

I had two missed miscarriages in 2011 and 2012. The first I chose to have a D&C, which was ok but hard as it involved a general.
My second I decided to go for a pessary, I’ll be honest - I wish I hadn’t. I’m sorry to say, but I saw too much and I found that really upsetting.

Look after yourself xx

If you’re being offered a D&C I’d recommend that route. This was a lot of years ago, but I was sent home for things to happen ‘naturally’ and ended up haemorrhaging. I could have died if the ambulance hadn’t got there so fast (I was still awake and talking on the ride to hospital, but crashed and was rushed to resus on arrival). I still ended up having the surgery for retained tissue anyway.

So sorry you're going through this too. I had surgery under general, I was terrified as I had never had surgery before, I was crying as they wheeled me in to theatre. Next thing I knew I was waking up in recovery.

The surgery went really well, minimal blood loss - I was discharged by midday and spent the rest of the day in bed. I had cramps that day but no worse than period pains. I was up and about by the following day, I have a toddler too so I was worried about recovery but it was absolutely fine. I had very minimal bleeding for maybe 5 days after the op.

I was worried about complications from the surgery, but I actually fell pregnant again very shortly afterwards, so it was a positive outcome although I appreciate this isn't the case for everyone. If I had to go through it again, I would definitely choose surgical

Wishing you all the very best xx

I had two missed miscarriages last year and with both passed naturally. The first one I didn't know the pregnancy had ended until I started bleeding and passed the pregnancy the next day at 10 weeks. The pregnancy probably was more like 6 weeks based on my next pregnancy

The next pregnancy I was having early scans for, the pregnancy was 10 days behind at 7.5 weeks and stopped some time in the following two weeks between scans with minimal growth from the first scan. I had another week wait to have the miscarriage confirmed by a second sonographer. I was going to go for medical management but the day before the final scan I started spotting. I asked to give my body a few days because the bleeding had already started and arranged for the epu to phone me to arrange the medical management on the following Monday but I passed the pregnancy in the meantime. I think if the pregnancy had been further along than 6 weeks gestation I would have gone for surgery. I passed both pregnancies without complications but wouldn't have wanted to wait more than a few days for my body to do what it needed. I had hyperemesis in both pregnancies and that was hard enough knowing the pregnancy had most probably ended

I'm sorry you are going through this. I conceived again a few weeks after my last miscarriage in December and am now 18 weeks!

I had the surgical management of my missed miscarriage yesterday. It all went smoothly, everyone was very kind to me. I had been quite nervous but went to sleep very quickly and easily and felt good when I woke up in recovery. Some discomfort today but not too bad at all, so relieved this is over and feeling much better in myself. The pregnancy symptoms I was still getting, that were so upsetting knowing it wasn’t viable, have finally gone. Hope all goes well for you whatever you decide and sorry again that you are going through this.