Am I Being Unreasonable?

[LeilaniLoop123]

I need a bit of guidance if anyone can lend their thoughts!
I found out I was pregnant around 3 weeks ago and am yet to have any appointments or scans etc until early May. After finding out, I found myself feeling strangely isolated and trapped within my own emotions as, other than my husband, I had no one to talk to about how I was feeling. This is my first pregnancy and it was very much planned after being told we’d struggle to conceive so we are so excited but my emotions have been all over the place!
after a week of knowing we decided to tell our parents, my husbands sister and my brother who still lives at home with my parents, which was all very well received. However, since telling them, I’ve received a lot of pressure from my parents to tell my stepsister. They said it’s unfair that my husbands sister knows and she doesn’t - saying that I shouldn’t forget that she’s my sister and that she deserves to know. They mention it every time I see them and I’m beginning to feel a bit backed into a corner. I considered telling my stepsister but I don’t see her often, and I simply wanted to wait a bit longer before telling her - nothing personal at all. My husbands sister is a nurse and, in my anxious brain, it made sense to tell her just in case I needed advice or help health wise.
so I guess my question is am I being unreasonable for not telling my stepsister, or should I ignore the pressure coming from my parents to tell her until I’m ready? The mounting pressure is definitely getting to me and leaving me in a place where I just don’t know what to do to make sure I’m not upsetting anyone. I don’t want to tell her before I’m ready to, but the questioning and the asking why I haven’t told her is getting a bit much!

Help!

I think they are thinking about how your step sister will feel if she knows everyone else knew but she wasn't told. That she would feel hurt and that she is not as important as everyone else.

Is there any reason why you don't feel she deserves to know too when everyone else does?

That sounds very annoying. In retrospect it appears you told your parents too soon if they have reacted by hounding you for two weeks. But ultimately it’s up to you when you tell people.

If there is no massive history then I can see your parents point as it sort of implies she isn’t as much a part of your family.

It’s not that I don’t think she deserves to know. I’m not avoiding telling her. But I do understand that perspective completely.
What I didn’t expect was my parents not “respecting” my decision on who to tell and when which has made me doubt whether I’m in the wrong or if my feelings are valid I suppose.
if I know my stepsister at all, she won’t be in the least bit concerned that I haven’t told her yet.
I think different “life” circumstances have affected that decision too. She’s quite a bit younger than me, and I don’t see her often at all. I’ve seen her once since January.
like I said in my original post, there was no malicious intent behind my decision to not tell her at all. If anything, I feel like I’m waiting for the right time!

It’s not that I don’t think she deserves to know. I’m not avoiding telling her. But I do understand that perspective completely and I had considered this. I guess I’ve been a bit naive to not expect my parents to question that decision which is where my anxiety and guilt is coming from.

if I know my stepsister at all, she won’t be in the least bit concerned that I haven’t told her yet.
I think different “life” circumstances have affected that decision too. She’s quite a bit younger than me, and I don’t see her often at all. I’ve seen her once since January.
like I said in my original post, there was no malicious intent behind my decision to not tell her at all. If anything, I feel like I’m waiting for the right time! I was planning on telling her after I’d had an early scan, just so that I actually had something to show her.

I guess it comes down to now feeling like I HAVE to tell her even if I’m not ready to keep everyone happy.

I don't think you're being unreasonable at all. Nobody "deserves to know" your personal news. It should be entirely up to you when you tell people, based on what you're comfortable with, and it's not ok to pressure you 💕

Thank you 🥲

I dont think youre being unreasonable. Its entirely up to you who you tell and when you tell them.
We didnt want to tell anyone until after the first scan for a number of reasons.
I had no choice but to tell my work right away due to the nature of the job I do to protect myself and the baby.
We then agreed to tell my mum as I was so unwell and I couldnt hide the constant vomiting, but nobody else.

I can see why your family want you to include your step sister in the news, as your husbands sister knows and really, theres no difference in family status.
Ultimately it is your decision and you shouldnt feel pressured by family to spread the news.
Just mind that your parents dont break the news themselves.
My in laws did that. They told their friends and other son and I was absolutely fuming with them.

I was initially quite worried about sharing at all as it’s very common knowledge that my mum can be a gossip, but again, I felt that I needed extra support from someone who has been through it to help me through the first few weeks. I feel like I’ve been borderline deprived of being excited and more on edge over who to tell, when to tell them and if I’ve upset anyone. Not an enjoyable experience mentally so far!
We booked an early scan so that I could share with my work slightly earlier too! I work in childcare so not very high risk but definitely enough to warrant telling them sooner rather than later!
But I understand where my parents are coming from, just slightly upset that my decision to wait just a little bit longer has seemingly upset them.