Sleeping issues with husband while pregnant

[Motherof1and2dogs]

I just wanted to see if this was a common problem in relationships during pregnancy. So because I am pregnant, I’m 28 weeks now, so I am pretty exhausted at the end of everyday, especially having a 2.5 year old and working full time still, I am needing to go to bed around 8/9pm. As my husband doesn’t get home until 6/7pm he is pretty much wide awake when he gets home and needs time to wind down so he tends to go to bed a lot later.

I usually fall asleep by the time he comes to bed, however as I wake up frequently needing to pee loads, getting back to sleep is problematic due to his awful snoring! This then leads to me having no sleep, broken sleep, anxiety, more exhaustion and totally ruins how I am the following day. This can also happen if he comes to bed early, so he will start to snore and then I cannot fall asleep so I find myself getting really irritated and angry with him to the point I just end up waking him up to sleep in the other room.

I would be interested to know if anyone else has the same problem or been through something similar. I am considering sleeping separately for the next few months but that also upsets me a little bit the thought we will be sleeping separately for a while, just seems a little abnormal when you are married. Are there any other options here?

Sleep apart and try not to enjoy it too much, I never went back (16 years) our marriage is better for it. Sleep matters.

Why doesn’t one of you just sleep in the spare room for a bit? Another option is those silicone ear plugs which are fantastic.

Is he acknowledging how much of a problem this is causing you? What has he done to try and address his snoring? It sounds like a problem for him to try and fix in my opinion.

I have similar- I am 24 weeks and exhausted. I go to bed around 9/10pm but my boyfriend doesn’t until around midnight. He always wakes me up, even though I sleep with ear plugs. Luckily I’m so exhausted I tend to fall back asleep straight away, but about once a week I struggle to get back to sleep. I know what you mean about sleeping separately, the thought of that makes me sad too. No helpful advice I’m afraid, but maybe ear plugs could help with the snoring? I have loop ones and they would block out the sound of his snores for sure.

@Xwx1010 @CandyCane457 I actually sleep with earplugs, very good ones too but I can still hear him through them 😂 it’s such an awful noise!

Are there particular reasons that exacerbate his snoring? Alcohol? Overweight?

You need to get this sorted otherwise you will feel murderous after the baby arrives.

Have you tried a snoozeband?

@FoxFaceRabbitFish I have told him to maybe look at trying to get a nose strip, or I’ve seen these magnets he could try, maybe even therapy if nothing works but he hasn’t done anything to solve it really. He never used to be this bad, I think weight gain and stress hasn’t helped. He is also a smoker which might also impact the snoring

Pack him up to the spare room!!!

@HelpMeUnpickThis I just replied to someone saying I don’t think the weight gain and stress helps as he never used to be bad 🙈 he is also a smoker and a full time mouth breather!

Weight gain and smoking will definitely be making things worse. He really should be taking steps to change habits/get help, otherwise it’s just really unfair on you. How does he feel about the impact this is having on you and the prospect of sleeping separately?

There’s nothing wrong in sleeping apart when sleep is so crucial for everything but some think it’s a threat to your relationship & not a good thing. Honestly there nothing more harmful to a relationship that the irritability & resentment that sleep deprivation causes that will eat into all other areas of your life. You are incubating a little life that needs you to be as rested & well as you can be (whilst juggling the demands of your other DC & everything else) so prioritise & demand your sleep & don’t apologise for it.

There’s nothing worse than being woken up by snoring. I moved into the spare room because I couldn’t cope with it anymore. This made my husband get a referral to the sleep clinic, it turns out he was holding his breath in his sleep.. 37 times per hour for 10 seconds at a time.
This is actually really dangerous and can cause serious health conditions if left untreated.
He was given a sleep apnea mask and its bliss, complete silence.

I slept in the spare room from about 5-6 months with our second, I actually slept full nights sleep right up until I gave birth which I most definitely didn’t with our first - it’s only temporary yet soooo important to get that sleep in before the baby comes!!

It sounds there's things he can do to reduce the snoring but there's no quick fix for that. In the meantime if I were you I'd go to sleep in your regular bed, he can join you when he's ready. When you wake up the first time to pee or whatever at that point I'd head straight to the spare room to go back to sleep. That way you get to go to sleep in the same bed but you don't have to lie awake while he snores.

The very obvious solution is to sleep in different rooms, which if you are going to bed at different times makes very little difference to anything - other than giving you a better night’s sleep. Why aren’t you doing that?

Honestly, having separate bedrooms does wonders for a marriage. I don't understand why more people don't insist on having their own bedroom. Even my kids have their own room, why shouldn't we adults have our own personal space?

You could get some head phones and do some
hypnotherapy so the snoring doesn’t bother you.

I think you are me 😂
My husband is an awful snorer. He has been under hospital care for it but because it isnt causing him a health issue, they wont do anything. There could well be a health issue when I try to suffocate him in his sleep though!
Its been going on years. He will often go to the spare room to sleep.
His snoring can be so loud it sets the noise alert off on the baby monitor which is in a different room with white noise playing! Its woken our daughter up numerous times.
Im pregnant now and he spent a few weeks in the spare room so i could sleep better. I can still hear him though.
He has tried everything on the market and has used GP prescribed meds, nothing had helped.

The best I can suggest is to leave him in the spare room. Sleep is precious. I hate him being in a different room of the house but I am also exhausted and need a decent sleep if I want to function the next day.

Sounds like he may need to get a referral to ENT if he is a mouth breather. Is he prone to tonsillitis as well? Maybe he needs his tonsils out if this hasn’t been considered before.
or is he nasally congested? Does he need some nasal saline sprays? Does he have hay fever?

in essence he should speak to his GP about this, particularly if it’s getting worse. Need to rule out sleep apnea too.

Just a few thoughts…

Just sleep in separate rooms! Why put yourself through it if you don’t have to.

https://www.google.com/aclk?sa=L&ai=DChsSEwjVjuTH6PKMAxUoooMHHd9sAj8YACICCAEQDBoCZWY&co=1&gclid=Cj0KCQjw5azABhD1ARIsAA0WFUEqPU4vQDbqRL5dBgREtKKd0YmaMUdY4knW-qfFS_QTeYEAJEgfUBEaAk-YEALw_wcB&ei=qE4LaOCDEpHq7_UP9P6juQg&sig=AOD64_2ZWlpQfyqS9L0jC1i0WqHzV2O6tw&ctype=5&q=&sqi=2&ved=2ahUKEwjg993H6PKMAxUR9bsIHXT_KIcQwg8oAHoECAYQDQ&adurl= Have you tried one of these, it’s completely stopped my husband’s snoring.

Yup, tried one of these and it didnt help either! He was referred to a sleep consultant who provided one to try, saying it would fix the issue. It really didnt, seemed to make it louder!
Its insane!