Pregnancy anxiety

[DMBZ1985]

Hello! This is my first time posting, but these threads have helped me so much in the past 😍

I did IVF last year, got a BFP, then had a chemical pregnancy.

I just got a BFP, this was from trying naturally. I know we are very lucky, and I'm really happy. But I'm also a bit worried I will have another chemical pregnancy. I'm 40 so I guess my chances are a bit higher of CP/MC. I find myself very conscious of every twinge and change in my symptoms. Im also scared of over exerting myself in case somehow i ruin our chances with this one (even though i know that medically that's not logical).

Does anyone have any tips on how they managed these kinds of feelings? Or just positive stories really. I can't really talk to friends or family as we decided not tell anyone yet (i'm only 5 weeks).

Thanks so much❤

Hi, and congratulations!
So the great news is you're now past the chemical pregnancy stage hurrah!
Next steps are not miscarrying, or atleast not stressing about misscarrying which is easier said than done!
There are so many people out here on these forums that have been through chemicals or mcs so we all get the anxiety.
Lots of knicker checking, lots of distractions, lots of reassurance scans!
It kind of gets easier but not until you can feel baby moving constantly...
I've found that now my symptoms have gone and no longer feel anything cramp /ache wise im sort of burying my head in the sand and pretending nothing is happening until I'm due my next scan🙃
Also, if you need to slow down for peace of mind then absolutely do. I'm somebody who used to workout a lot, and was always on the go, but whenever I'm pregnant that first trimester I basically turn into a snail and do nothing for fear of bleeding, even now I haven't spotted in few weeks I'm still taking it much easier.
I'd absolutely go get a doctors appointment though so you can talk through any options you may need (extra progesterone etc etc or if you had any alternative protocols woth your ivf journey)

Here’s my totally frank advice: keep your mind busy and pretend you’re not pregnant. The odds are very much in your favour for a successful outcome - plenty of women have successful pregnancies at 40! There’s nothing that will help you atm except time, what will be will be, and with the passage of time eventually you’ll know the outcome one way or another. So in the meantime, find other things to think about!

Source: I’ve had 3 MCs and one living child; currently tri 2 with (hopefully) kid 2, and I’m in my late 30s, so I know what happens to the odds of MC when you hit our age!

Congratulations.

The biggest piece of advice I can give is take it a day at a time and try and enjoy being pregnant. Every milestone is one step closer to your baby ie hitting 12 weeks, 20, 24 etc.

I have just given birth to a little girl after a previous mc and years of trying and honestly the anxiety continued through the entire pregnancy between fearing miscarriage and then fearing a stillbirth so I completely understand how you are feeling.

I’ve found it helpful to remind myself that the majority of miscarriages are due to chromosomal issues, and the baby already either does or doesn’t have a chromosomal issue - i.e. there is nothing you can do (like exercise, being stressed etc) that is going to affect that. It helped to stop me feel anxious that I was going to do something “wrong” and to (mostly) accept that what will be will be.

I lost a baby last year (at age 40) due to trisomy 13 - currently 12 weeks pregnant (at age 41) and so far all is well. I’m still anxious, though, so I know how you feel!

I totally get how you feel! Im 40 and and about 5 weeks 5 days pregnant and the anxiety of something going wrong is hitting hard. I've never had a MC but have been TTC for 2 years, we were due to start IVF this cycle and then got our BFP, which is amazing but also so scary! Im also over analysing every twinge, cramp etc.
I have been reassuring myself with this - https://datayze.com/miscarriage-chart Seems to help calm my anxiety a bit! Fingers firmly crossed we all have beautiful healthy babies x

Also feel the same, had a loss in 2023 and got my BFP on Monday, I’m 41 and worried it will be another horrible outcome. Can’t do this for the next however many weeks so I’m just trying to believe it’s going to be fine and the universe gifted me this chance again ✨

I feel the same. 39 and had a CP last month. 3 weeks 6 days pregnant so period due tomorrow and now can't stop overthinking that ill come on tomorrow and I have another CP. Had a mc before dc2 aswell so know the anxiety too well.

Congratulations, OP! I know how you feel. I miscarried my first pregnancy at 12 weeks. I then became pregnant again. I spent the entire time feeling nervous and almost refused scans etc.. I refused to buy a pram, the only things I allowed myself to buy were a few baby clothes. I wasn't gong to believe this was real until I saw my baby. And then I did, he was real and he was fine. He is 20 years old now. I found that my friends who had not experienced a miscarriage really did not understand the anxiety. In my subsequent pregnancy, I was far more relaxed because I had the distraction of a toddler to care for. All the best to you. x

@LaTable so much knicker checking! I've got a doctor's appointment this Saturday and hopefully all is well. i really needed to hear that I can slow down... thank you so much for saying that and all your lovely words

@Melusina123 I think that's great and so helpful- and I'm sorry for your losses ❤and all luck and love

Thanks @Halo20 thats great advice, and sorry for your previous losses and congratulations on your little girl!!!

@MaudePie yes, thats really helpful! We did ivf with the nhs, and as brilliant as they were, no on actually explained to us what a cp was until months later- we had to find out at a subsequent ivf clinic and from our own research. it helps a lot to think that what is meant to happen will happen! So much love and luck for your pregnancy ❤

@ChloeG84 congratulations! and it sounds like we are in a similar boat! We had another IVF round that was due to start this cycle, so its been a real curveball to get a BFP. All luck and love for yur pregnancy ❤

@Mrs777 congratulations! and i get it, thank you for sharing this as it makes me feel less alone! All luck and love for your pregnancy ❤

@MonsterBookOfTyson congratulations! and so sorry for your previous losses, its so hard not to carry that anxiety forward, but so good to know I'm not alone with it. all love and luck for your pregnancy ❤

@LovelyCupOfTeaThankYou I can feel myself doing this, like im not letting myself think about possible things i might need or anything! Im so sorry for your loss back in the day, but how amazing to see your 20 year old son now. Ive loved reading all your replies, they have helped me so much

@LaTable and all luck and love for your pregnancy!❤

Hi. I totally understand.
I'm 41 and am 5+3
I lost twins at just 9 weeks three months ago and had another loss a few months before at at 7 weeks.
I'm incredibly nervous but I feel like there's no chance this pregnancy will be successful at the same time I feel like it's going ok.
My HCG wasnt increasing very well so I daren't get my hopes up.
Such a shame isn't it that previous losses take away the joy from finding out you're pregnant.
I hope it feels better after scans for us all.

Same to you xx

@PennyPencils yes, it's so tough! I think you'd have to be superhuman to not carry the anxiety forward, and I'm sorry for your previous losses. But all luck and love for this pregnancy, one day at a time! ❤️

Thank you so much. She is 2 weeks old and I still cannot believe she is here.

Honestly I wish I had of relaxed a bit more during the pregnancy

Good luck.