1st time pregnancy advice due June 25th

[Jess13224]

Hi all, I'm currently 30w6d and this is my first pregnancy.

Some background I'm 20 years old and have been with my partner for just under 8 years. I have a really close support system with my family and his.

I'm just at the point now where I'm so excited and ready to move into this new chapter of life. I'm having a little girl.

I have already brought all of the babies essentials (few more things I need such as bed sheets).

Throughout the whole pregnancy I've been struggling really badly with morning sickness, it went away for 5 weeks around the start of the 2nd trimester but has returned with full force. I've also been really struggling with PGP (pelvic girdle pain) and cannot walk for long distances without causing agony this has been a real struggle with being able to move around day to day, even getting out of bed. I feel so exhausted and run down and the only thing that seems to help with the sickness is apples (strangely enough).

I just wanted any and all advice for postpartum and also with a birthing plan. I cannot decide between my local hospital and a birthing unit, I definitely don't want a epidural and I don't want pethidine.

Postpartum advice: accept the help! Be prepared to go nowhere for the first while and if you are able to get out and about it will come as a win rather than a disappointment over not being able to.

Birthing plan advice: be prepared to throw it out the window if it's not going the way you'd have liked! Your baby doesnt know your plan and getting her here safely should be first priority. I would have a plan, and then a separate short list of non-negotiables that you feel strongly about. Go through it with your partner, it's his job to advocate for you, particularly if you aren't having an epidural as your sole job that day will be self pain management!

No epidural: I had my first baby on gas and air, second baby I got an epidural. Do a hypnobirthing class. Have a mantra / motto / saying that you can say to yourself and your partner can say to you - i didn't do this first time round and really regretted it. You know your own body more than you think so listen to it and go from there.

Have a birth outline with your preferences, but don’t think of it as a plan that will definitely happen. Do some research into the different types of birth and recovery for each. Although it’s not the type of birth you would like, if something happens and you need a c-section or forceps and episiotomy then it will be helpful for you to already have an idea of what is happening and also how best to look after yourself afterwards. Prepare for each type of birth really as you just don’t know what will happen.
Encourage your partner to also research post-partum recovery, because he will be the person primarily caring for you. If you have stitches anywhere then it can be hard to move, so he’ll need to understand what your body is going through so he can help you without you having to constantly ask. Even if you have the smoothest and loveliest birth, your partner should be prepared for the changes in your hormones / moods / emotions in the early weeks. If you are struggling then it’s helpful if he can be around for the Health Visitor visits and can tell them how you’re doing.
Don’t feel pressure to have visitors too soon afterwards. Just give yourself time to recover somewhat, not just physically, but mentally too. Your hormones go a bit wild in the early days! No one actually needs to see a 4 day old baby (apart from your close support system who you trust and feel comfortable around and who will help you).
Accept offers of help - if someone offers to hoover or wash your dishes, it will feel weird saying yes, but just let them do it. It’ll be more helpful than you can imagine.
Take pictures of you and baby, not just pictures of the baby. Even if you look so so tired and they’re not something you’d want other people to see, it’s nice to look back at photos of yourself and your baby and remember those early days.

Hi lovely! Congratulations on your pregnancy—and on entering this beautiful new chapter with so much care and intention already. It really touched me how connected and thoughtful you are, especially at 30 weeks! I’m also a mum, and I remember that exhaustion and relentless nausea all too well (mine stuck around far longer than I expected too!). I got prescribed "Cariban" which helped a lot but doesn't make you drowsy or tired. Maybe you can find it in the UK , too.

You’ve clearly put so much love and thought into preparing for your little girl already, and I can really feel how important it is to you to have a birth experience that reflects that, keeping things natural. Your questions around birth plans and choosing between hospital and birth unit are so important, especially since you already know you want to avoid epidural and pethidine. Please opt for the birthing unit, you can always transfer later if you need anyting they can't offer, the rates of natural births are so much higher in the birthing units.

For transparency - I’m a midwife with years of experience supporting births in both home and hospital settings, and currently working on an exciting project for first-time mums who are preparing for natural births with as few interventions as possible—especially women like you who are proactive and want to feel confident, informed, and in control.

Would you be open to a relaxed 30-minute Zoom chat with me sometime this week or next? It’s not a sales call! —just a genuine conversation to research womens preferences, hopes and dreams, and I’d love to hear more about your story, your thoughts on birth, and how you're navigating all the choices ahead.

Sending lots of strength as you keep going through these final weeks—you're doing such an incredible job already. 💛

Best wishes, Anna von Hörsten from Berlin Xx

P.S. I put my calendly link to connect for a Zoom call below, just select a time and date, would really love to hear from you
💗