Mums at birth??

[Irish24]

I got stick from someone in work that I haven’t asked my mum to be at my birth. I honestly didn’t even think it was that common or a thing unless the woman was single or the father wasn’t around. I just assumed it would be me and my husband. My mum and I are close but no offence I wouldn’t want her to see me in a vulnerable position giving birth but turns out now I will need to have a CS due to baby being breech so that means only one birthing partner and that will be my husband. The girl in work had asked me again and insisted my mum needs to be there as she gave birth to me and it’s her grand children and I politely told her it wasn’t her business and she has shut up asking me. My mum has asked me if my husband will be ok with the baby and said she was going up to my granny’s that day. I told her thats fine and that I would keep her updated. Now I’m over thinking was she trying to drop hints. I feel guilty now that I’ve came across cold and that I don’t want her there. She of course will be kept updated on visiting times and when she can come. Am
i in the wrong here?

Yes but it still isn’t very common tbh. None of my friends or other family members had their mums at the birth either so it just never even occurred to me at all. Most of the mums came
down after the birth. It’s obviously fine for her to have her own views and if that’s what she’s comfortable with but don’t try and force it on other people

I wouldn’t overthink it. Your colleague was pushing her own views on you.

I agree with others that it’s a very personal decision. I had my mum there, but don’t think anything of it if a woman doesn’t want her mum there. It’s what you want and what will make you comfortable that’s important.

It's very strange, maybe she is trying to live though other people. Or just likes to be involved and tell people what to do. It's very disrespectful, people can offer suggestions, but to tell you what you have to do. To the point you feel so uncomfortable you feel you need an excuse, is awful. It's your birth, your body, your family. I love it when the father is there, it also means a lot to them. Maybe he didn't grow the life, but it's the life you want your DH to invest the rest of his in.
Good luck with your birth, my c section was so much better then I imagined, I was terrified. And everyone was incredible. And congratulations such a special.time ahead coach your DH to take pictures.

Thank you ☺️ I’m also terrified but excited

Dear God No. My mum turned up at the hospital when I was in labour with my first baby. No idea why, or why she’d think I would want or need her there. We have a perfunctory enough relationship, but certainly not one where I’d need her, or indeed give her the privilege, of being with me during childbirth.
I sent my (now ex) husband to tell her to go home.

I didn’t have my mam there either. Just me and my partner. Tell your colleague to mind her own!

My daughter was 3h old before I told my mum I had been in labour!
Due to pandemic restrictions she was 3 weeks old before she met her and only saw her a handful of times during her first year.
My mum saw my niece very soon after birth and saw her frequently from birth having been born in normal circumstances. There's no difference in their relationship

I had my husband and my dad which people thought was weird. My mum panics about things more than me whereas my dad is a lot calmer. She did manage to bypass all hospital protocols and somehow all 4 of us ended up in the recovery bit afterwards - she is a very keen granny! Do what is right for you!

Gave birth to first baby overseas, parents met baby at 3 months and in-laws at 6 months!

I’m incredibly close to my mum but we both agreed we would not be a good combo if she attended the birth of my DC’s! I actually think a lot of it comes down to both how close you are to your mum but also how she copes in stressful/medical situations and if her attendance would be a comfort or distress for either of you. I’ve only got one friend who had their mum attend the birth but her mum is a retired nurse and very comfortable in medical settings.

Honestly even if I was single the last person I’d want there is my mother. I’m close to my mother and we talk every day but ugh I don’t know it just wouldn’t be for me.

oh and I’m in Ireland and I don’t know anyone who had their mother with them in labour. I thought it was a uk thing .