When/how to tell my 6yr old I'm pregnant

[Rosebyanothername19]

I had a difficult pregnancy with my 6yr old. Numerous issues and then born at 28wks resulting in a long hospital stay and some ongoing complications.

We have been trying to a second for a few years and unfortunately have suffered a few losses. The longest pregnancy was 10 weeks and not the best experience, to say the least.

Anyway we are now expecting and I'm now over 16weeks so feeling a bit more confident but still not 100% due to the previous experience. Our close family and friends know and they understand the fear/potential complications etc. but we haven't yet told our DD.

Reasons to tell her is I'm not the largest person and it is showing quite a bit and I want to tell her before she works it out or someone lets slip in front of her. I also have to go for a lot of extra appointments etc due to last time and I don't want her to start worrying about me.

Reasons not to are it's a long time for her to wait until I'm actually due and things could still all go wrong.

Even when we do tell her I don't want the emphasis to be on her becoming a big sister, more just that I have a baby in my tummy.

Any advice please?

Congratulations! I came on to say after 12 weeks. So 16 weeks and almost showing is a perfect time. Just explain in chile -friendly terms.

First I'm so sorry for your losses, it must have been such a heartbreaking journey. And your current DD is definitely a magic baby.
Congratulations on your baby, and I wish you the best for this journey.

I think it's wise to tell your DD, you could wait tell after your 20 week scan as that is a very informative scan of many potential things. But inwouldnt wait longer, as you say you showing. So you may need to earlier.

My advise is focus on how you saying it, use an age approrate approach to explain that there is a baby but that it's still new. Your dd is still so young, i know people want kids to grow up tp fast, but she is young so yes keep that innocents for now. Give a story so that your child understands; so if you religious use that, or if you believe in reincarnation tell a story based on that; otherwise even a fairy tale. So dd can understand if it's meant to be it will, otherwise the baby goes back to this magic world.

This is just my opinion, but your dd is a big sister during your pregnancy. And I do believe it's a special and beautiful thing to give her. You don't want her to not feel that attachment or place when the baby comes. She will be a sister in knowing about th baby, weather she comes to this world or not. And the healthiest thing is to prepare her for that world. Let her be excited now, and if needed moarn later.
You don't have to make her the big sister right away, but definitely as your pregency progresses. Make her excited for that new journey, her life is also going to change, make it a positive journey.

Things can always go wrong, in anybodies pregnancy healthy or not, I understand yours Is much harder more risk, canf even imagine how difficult this must be for you in all areas.
Don't let adult fears and realities, take the magic from children.
Hope that makes sense.

Thank you so much for taking the time to reply!

I think I'm just nervous that I tell her and she gets excited then something happens and I have to manage her disappointment and upset as well as my own. I appreciate that is very selfish of me though!

I will try to work out an age appropriate way of telling her.

Thank you again!

I'd wait until after the 20 weeks scan. Although, it depends how much you're showing. I was able to hide my pregnancy until 24ish weeks.

I'd want to wait until after the anomaly scan. That will be plenty of time for her to get excited (and possibly get bored - it's a long time for a 6 year old!).

How is she going to know you have hospital appointments? Surely at her age you choose not to mention certain things/distract.

I have a history of multiple losses. So I waited till the anomaly scan was done.

I don't think it's selfish, you being a mum. We want to protect our children from everything.
It's also okay to feel that way, you allowed to also be human and not always want the burdens of life on your shoulders.
I can't even imagine how hard this must be for you, so be kind to yourself.
Just try to live in the present moment, I truly wish you all the best.

Congratulations! I'm nearly 17 weeks with my second and have a 4 year old. I had two miscarriages last year both at 10 weeks.
We have made the decision to not tell her until after the 20 week scan provided it goes ok. The only family that know are my in-laws as we don't want people accidentally telling her. I've told other people though.
My plan is to show her the scan photo and explain that we are going to have a baby and she's going to have a brother or sister. She's been asking for one since her friend's at nursery started having siblings at about 2 and a half!
My dad was born at 28 weeks and I know that played on my mind when I was having my daughter. I did relax a bit more after getting passed that milestone. He's the eldest of 5 and his 4 siblings were all born at full term so hopefully you go to term this time around!
My 4 yo has already started to question my bump, if she hadn't we might have considered waiting until 24-28 weeks you could consider this but at 7 they are probably more capable of joining up the dots than a 7 year old and it's a balance of not telling her to not upset her but if she's already figured it out if something happens she might already get upset as she knows but then doesn't know how to tell you she knows.

Ds1 was 6 when i fell pregnant with his little brother. Like you i had lots of losses and scans leading up to his successful pregnancy. I told ds1 at 12 weeks not gonna lie i wish we had waited. He was sooo excited but it was such a long wait for him. I would tell 18/20 weeks.