Telling colleagues about pregnancy early?

[wishIwasonholiday10]

Has anyone had to tell their colleagues about a pregnancy super early? I think I am going to have to do this as I have to ask some of them to help with a task that wouldn’t be safe while pregnant. Normally I’m the only one who does this task and I can’t think of any excuse to get out of it. I hate the idea of colleagues knowing about a miscarriage if something goes wrong. I am only about 7 weeks pregnant so nowhere near my scan. I will also be telling my supervisor in order to have a wider risk assessment but that feels less awkward and he would be more professional if something went wrong and also not liable to gossip with other colleagues.

I’m not even planning to tell family until after the 12 week scan so it feels even weirder telling colleagues.

Just tell your supervisor and let them make the changes they need to concerning the task you can’t do. As far as your colleagues are concerned you could have a bad back or any number of other things. You don’t say what the task is, but I’m sure your colleagues won’t care.

Thanks for the advice! I already used the bad back excuse recently to avoid doing heavy lifting during a move following an embryo transfer. This particular task is not physically taxing at all but involves possible exposure to chemicals. We use appropriate PPE but it’s hard to assess the level of remaining risk so best to avoid it altogether in pregnancy. I can’t think of any other non-pregnancy reason for not being able to do it.

Surely your supervisor will just need to re-allocate the task?

A close friend of mine did have to tell colleagues early as she had such horrendous morning sickness. It's not the end of the world, the trend now is not to tell anyone but sometimes it's just not practical.

No never lie. I would quietly speak to your manager and ask for confidentiality. Say you are unable to perform Xx task due to a current medical condition. It’s up to you whether you fess up or not. If you feel comfortable telling them then tow a party line of ‘I currently am unable to do this due to a medical condition’. You aren’t lying, people won’t feel lied to and they don’t need to know your business. Keep things specifically vague.

I was being sick all the time, couldn't pass it off as a hangover every day as I wasn't (I'm still not) a big drinker. So my colleagues knew very early days.

Yes. Due to awful morning sickness. It was fine and work were supportive. Colleagues were made up too, which was nice. If I had lost DC then I think I would have been well supported too.

Only you know your workplace, but if you do have to let them know early I hope you have as good an experience as I had.

It’s difficult to explain as it’s quite a specialised thing but I’m currently the only one who knows how to do the complete task. I am hired as a specialist in this particular technique. I can eliminate the risk by asking someone to help with a certain bit but I still need to be involved. My boss will need to try to find someone else who knows how to do it before I go on mat leave assuming all goes well with the pregnancy but for now it’s on me.

My colleagues knew I was pregnant from around 6/7 weeks as I was signed off sick. My manager just said I was ill for the first couple of weeks but when it went on longer and longer people were worried so started contacting me to see if I was ok. I didn’t really see much reason to lie so I just told them, and he then contacted me to check it was ok that people knew.
My family knew really early on and I probably wouldn’t have hid a miscarriage should it have happened though, so if you wouldn’t be comfortable with them knowing that then I can see why you’d be wary of saying anything at this point.

I told my colleagues very early on because we work with chemicals that shouldn’t be handled during pregnancy. It was fine, but I never intended to wait until the 12 week scan before letting people know. I was comfortable with friends and family knowing from the outset.

If you don’t want to share with colleagues this early I would just speak with your supervisor, have your duties amended and if a curious colleague asks why, use the reasoning that whilst trying to conceive you’re minimising your exposure. They may guess or speculate, but there’s not much that can be done about that. That’s assuming people know you’re trying for a baby. If no one is aware you were trying to conceive see if the changes to your work can be made in a discreet fashion. I’m not sure how feasible that would be in your role?

Thanks all for the advice! I will talk to my supervisor next week (after my early scan at the IVF clinic). No one has a clue I was TTC or undergoing IVF. Although most of the team works with chemicals at the moment my job is mostly computer based except for 4 times a year when I prepare samples for this technique so I didn’t feel the need to tell anyone. With my first I didn’t tell anyone until very late but it was easier as I was mostly working from home due to Covid. I am over 40 and risks of miscarriage are obviously higher than if I was younger.

Hi OP. I told my line manager straight away as I too needed a risk assessment. I then told colleagues after we had told our families at Christmas. I sadly had an MMC and was out of work for a while. I was so glad I told my colleagues cause I had so much support when I went back and while I was off. I got such a lovely warm welcome from them when I went back. I would have ended up having to tell them anyway like a pp said, they would have started texting wondering what was going on.