Will I ever feel back to myself again?

[Fluffylizard1]

I posted a couple of months ago about how much I was struggling during first trimester. The consensus seemed to be that it was a mixture of first trimester sickness / exhaustion and depression. I got anti sickness medication and got added to a CBT waiting list but it'll still be a few months before I can access that.

I was hoping I'd feel a lot better once I hit second trimester but I'm more than halfway through it now and still feel horrendous.

It's not so much the sickness anymore but I just feel continuously unwell and exhausted. I feel like my brain and my body have both stopped working.

If I had to describe how I'm living in one word it would be 'rotting'. I sleep 10-12 hours a day. Get my laptop, attempt to work on and off all day into the evening in my pyjamas and unwashed (limited energy needs to be reserved for trying to be half-present for work) with various breaks over the course of the day to shower / rest, and reset.

It's horrible. I feel horrible. Look horrible. The quality of my work is horrendous. I've cut my days down so I'm now only doing 10 days this month but it hasn't helped and I'm earning less.

I'm honestly out of ideas now of what to do. How do I pull myself out of this and feel like a human being again?

I don't have advice but just solidarity. I did fell better in my third trimester of all three pregnancies, but definitely not "like myself". I had PGP of varying levels of severity in all three final trimesters, significant nausea and occasional vomiting in the third one still (HG earlier on in all 3 pregnancies) and absolutely bone crushing levels of exhaustion.

After I had my babies I pretty much immediately felt way better. Ive genuinely always felt less exhausted with newborns than in the final month or so of my pregnancies. It's a different type of exhaustion and I don't find it to be as physically overbearing as the exhaustion from pregnancy.

It will pass!

Second trimester was much better for DC1 and DC2. I’m not gonna lie the more babies you have the worse and more knackered you feel. I’m pregnant with dc3 and all trimesters have been harder this time as no sleeping through the night or naps in the day. It’s bloody survival.

i think you will feel better mid pregnancy and also when baby has arrived

I've never felt fully better either, even if morning sickness has improved you're still pregnant and the longer it goes on the heaviness kicks in, you'll get there!

From about week 18 or 19 I became human again each time
Just do what you can

I felt horrendous and exhausted in various ways throughout my pregnancy. I was generally useless at work too.