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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Original poster

Partner going abroad 4 weeks before due date

30 replies

Motherof1and2dogs · 17/04/2025 14:37

Just need some reassurance as I am freaking out! My husband is going to Portugal for work from the 17th - 20th June and my Due date is 15th July. He is also away end of June for a few nights but this is in the UK so getting back if need be isn’t as problematic.
I keep freaking out that if I go into labour 4 weeks early he won’t be able to make it back in time. Getting a last minute flight, all the waiting around, potential delays etc could mean it old take a whole day for him to get back. I hear stories that the second baby just flops out with ease so there isn’t as much time the second time round 😅

I just wanted to see how common/ uncommon it is to be 4 weeks early, would youse be telling your partner to not go, am I freaking out for no reason, I know 4 weeks is still a big gap but the fact I don’t really have anyone else that can be with me IF I was to go into labour scares me so much! I have bad anxiety as it is so this does not help!

OP posts:
Mrsttcno1 · 17/04/2025 14:45

At 36 weeks pregnant I wouldn’t be worrying, if he was going at 39 weeks then yeah I’d be panicking a bit, but not at 36 weeks.

Second births do tend to be faster, but not 4 weeks premature x

TY78910 · 17/04/2025 14:50

Both mine came at 38w. There’s no rule to this though.
Probability is you’re likely going to be fine and it is work so I’m a bit more understanding than if it was a boys trip.

In case though, do you have anyone on call that can step in?

Radiatorvalves · 17/04/2025 14:58

I’d relax about that. My DH was away (military) until about 37/38 weeks. A friend was ready to step in but baby arrived on time and DH was there.

LuluDelulu · 17/04/2025 18:43

I would be OK with it at 36 weeks.

UpAnDownMama463 · 17/04/2025 21:15

36 weeks, fine from the POV of going into labour as the chance is very low.

However my PGP was so bad at 36 weeks, I couldn't really walk anymore and needed help with basics tasks. I also had a liver condition which needed regular blood tests and I simply could not have managed to get myself to the appointments without DH. So if anyone reading this who is on their first pregnancy, I wouldn't agree to it from this perspective. Not everyone is fine and dandy at 36 weeks.

Original poster
Motherof1and2dogs · 18/04/2025 04:30

@UpAnDownMama463 oh my god my PGP is horrendous! It has been from about 22 weeks but it is getting much worse. I have physio on the 22nd April (was such a long wait!), I am really hoping it helps. Any tips, please send them my way! Please also tell me the pain goes away after having baby?

OP posts:
Original poster
Motherof1and2dogs · 18/04/2025 06:13

@TY78910 I have my sister potentially, only if her husband is at home with their 3 kids, she is an hour away though so not local, my mother in law potentially, but she lives almost 2 hours away and works full time, also wouldn’t feel 100% comfortable having her there as we aren’t massively close. My mum will be with my toddler so there is no definite that I would have someone with me, I would only want my husband there, but going by what others have said I should be ok :) fingers crossed! I know it’s highly unlikely but reassurance from others helps me a lot

OP posts:
BubblegumGiraffe · 18/04/2025 06:24

Was your toddler early?

Original poster
Motherof1and2dogs · 18/04/2025 06:25

@BubblegumGiraffe only 4 days which I wouldn’t really class as early, it was a very healthy pregnancy and birth with no problems

OP posts:
BubblegumGiraffe · 18/04/2025 06:27

i mean it’s not an exact science but I’d probably be ok with him being away for a couple of days at 36 weeks then.. although it’s not ideal! Can he not explain the situation to work?

Bananafofana · 18/04/2025 06:30

I’m the wrong person to ask as dd arrived at 36 weeks after a very uneventful and healthy pregnancy and I went from waters breaking to EMCS in 6 hours. You have your dm to look after your toddler , perhaps line up a friend in case of the unusual event of prem birth (you might rather have your toddler with a friend and your dm with you). You can google to stats of arrival at every week. I would be more concerned about the uk trips at the end of June - things can happen quite quickly!

Frenchtoastie · 18/04/2025 07:21

Aww I have this exact situation! I am due 14th due and my hubby had a trip booked 20-22nd june
Ive asked him to not go which he now isn’t. This is our first baby, but maybe I would be feel more confident in him going if it was my second?
can he change the trip or is it non negotiable?

MumChp · 18/04/2025 07:44

I would have a plan B just in case.

Clearinguptheclutter · 18/04/2025 07:46

I’d be alright though I’d have a mum or friend on “stand by”
my dh went to glasto at 37 weeks, I remember the worry!

Original poster
Motherof1and2dogs · 18/04/2025 07:54

@Frenchtoastieit is an optional trip and he doesn’t have to go, however it’s a once in a lifetime opportunity. He is being treated by his company for being one of the top salesman in the country, it’s mostly playing golf, eating out etc, all paid for, but also an opportunity to meet potential clients or others a lot higher up in the company. He has said he wouldn’t drink so if I was to go into labour he would get the first flight back home but that could take a whole day! I’m just so scared it will happen when he isn’t here, he is sort of like my safety blanket and no one else can fit that role 😩

OP posts:
Frenchtoastie · 18/04/2025 07:58

Motherof1and2dogs · 18/04/2025 07:54

@Frenchtoastieit is an optional trip and he doesn’t have to go, however it’s a once in a lifetime opportunity. He is being treated by his company for being one of the top salesman in the country, it’s mostly playing golf, eating out etc, all paid for, but also an opportunity to meet potential clients or others a lot higher up in the company. He has said he wouldn’t drink so if I was to go into labour he would get the first flight back home but that could take a whole day! I’m just so scared it will happen when he isn’t here, he is sort of like my safety blanket and no one else can fit that role 😩

Sorry but nothing compares to the birth of a child and supporting you!
id say no then!

Zonder · 18/04/2025 07:59

I would plan for MIL to have toddler and mum to come with you in case you go into labour ahead of time. A friend could be on standby with toddler until MIL gets there.

I would be fine with the Portugal trip, so long as he doesn't mind potentially missing the birthday, but I wouldn't be fine with the later trip even in the UK.

SilverButton · 18/04/2025 08:18

My DH went abroad for 2 nights with work when I was 37 weeks, it was a big opportunity for him so we agreed to take the chance. DC was a week late anyway!

Uphighseesky · 18/04/2025 08:30

I mean if your mum will be childcare then the worst that could happen is you give birth alone, so I wouldn't have an issue with it. 🤷🏼‍♀️

UpAnDownMama463 · 18/04/2025 14:31

Motherof1and2dogs · 18/04/2025 04:30

@UpAnDownMama463 oh my god my PGP is horrendous! It has been from about 22 weeks but it is getting much worse. I have physio on the 22nd April (was such a long wait!), I am really hoping it helps. Any tips, please send them my way! Please also tell me the pain goes away after having baby?

@Motherof1and2dogs oh dear, I'm sorry you're suffering with it too. I had loads of physio with a very reputable women's physio but all it did was give some relief for a matter of hours every time. I did my exercises religiously and it did nothing....I was super fit before getting pregnant so not even being able to take a 30 minute walk was a shock. By 36 weeks I couldn't get in and out of the car and DH had to help me up the stairs. I had a c section at 39 weeks but if I hadn't, I would have arranged to get some crutches.

Unfortunately, 8 months post partum it's still there though finally starting to let up a bit. The hormones causing it can persist until around 12 months post partum apparently.

Sorry, don't mean to be negative, but I really didn't expect my PGP to get so bad so I am only posting this so that you know that you are not alone.

Rella357 · 18/04/2025 14:42

My DS1 was born at 37 weeks but my DS2 was born at 39+6 so I wouldn't worry too much.

Jennalong · 18/04/2025 14:47

Motherof1and2dogs · 17/04/2025 14:37

Just need some reassurance as I am freaking out! My husband is going to Portugal for work from the 17th - 20th June and my Due date is 15th July. He is also away end of June for a few nights but this is in the UK so getting back if need be isn’t as problematic.
I keep freaking out that if I go into labour 4 weeks early he won’t be able to make it back in time. Getting a last minute flight, all the waiting around, potential delays etc could mean it old take a whole day for him to get back. I hear stories that the second baby just flops out with ease so there isn’t as much time the second time round 😅

I just wanted to see how common/ uncommon it is to be 4 weeks early, would youse be telling your partner to not go, am I freaking out for no reason, I know 4 weeks is still a big gap but the fact I don’t really have anyone else that can be with me IF I was to go into labour scares me so much! I have bad anxiety as it is so this does not help!

For the sake of your uterus and other internal organs , I hope your baby and anyone else's , never flops out !

Original poster
Motherof1and2dogs · 18/04/2025 14:48

@Jennalong 😂 maybe not exactly flop out, was more of a figure of speech, but my mum said from when her waters broke with me, I was born in 2 hours! I didn’t know it could happen that fast!

OP posts:
Peanut91 · 18/04/2025 16:48

I wouldn't be happy but then my eldest came at 36 weeks and I was hospitalised in both my pregnancies from 33/34 weeks so would need him on hand for those final few weeks in case

Moveoverdarlin · 18/04/2025 16:51

I think you’ll be fine. You can get back from Portugal pretty quickly, there are flights all the time.