IVF pregnancy, previous loss & super high anxiety

[CheeryPombear]

Hi

I need to just put this into words and get some of it out my head.

We are newly pregnancy (4+1 so very very early) after IVF.

We had a natural pregnancy in 2022 which ended at 5+3 (roughly wasn't really checking as didn't expect to ever catch naturally) and we've been doing IVF for 10 years with 4 X fresh transfers and 1 previous frozen (8 embryos in total).

I'm super freaked out that I am going to lose this baby as well.

I've had a tiny bit of bleeding, light pink pretty much in tissue only and none on pads which I know can be implantation.
I've got very sore boobs and have had some nausea (the nausea made me test before test date!) and some mild cramping like I've had a crazy night of sex. I'm also feeling wet and then I'm in and out the loo checking it's not bloody. I don't feel pregnant but I'm not really sure how I am supposed to feel.

I feel scared, hopeful, angry, crazy. I can't even put most of it into words. This baby is so wanted, I don't know how I would cope if I lost this one too. It's all I can think about, I'm having palpitations and not sleeping well and I'm struggling to concentrate for work.

Please someone just tell me this is ok and normal.

Everything you’re feeling is completely understandable. My dd was a much longed for icsi baby. When I tested on my official testing day I was convinced it would be negative as I had spotting. It wasn’t, it was positive. I think I bought about ten pregnancy tests after that to tide me over until the first scan at the clinic at six weeks. I had zero symptoms so couldn’t believe it had worked. By the time we went to the clinic and saw the heartbeat it all became real. Symptoms started then there was no looking back.

Wishing you lots of luck OP, take it easy, don’t symptom spot as they won’t probably start for a few more weeks.