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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Original poster

Pregnancy and breakup

2 replies

Lookingforadvice101234 · 11/04/2025 23:30

Hi,
my ex broke up with me early on in my pregnancy. I am a few months further along now. He has always said he wanted to be involved with the baby, however in the initial 4ish weeks of the breakup he barely showed any interest in the baby, and quite honestly made my life hell with text messages not relating to the pregnancy, acting like he was a victim etc.
then all of a sudden there was a complete shift and now he’s over- nice, constantly asking to meet up, demanding to be involved with naming the baby, and incessantly texting me. I would not respond to a lot of texts of his and just the ones where i have to let him know things about the baby like scans etc.
I am finding this very difficult to navigate with him- he was very narcissistic when we were together and I am suspicious of his behaviour now. I am willing to coparent together however I find setting boundaries with him very difficult- he will often lash out or retaliate if he’s told no or if I try to set boundaries. He recently sent me a text message stating he is “entitled to 50% of the baby”.
has anybody any experience of coparenting with an ex? Particularly one that is a bit of a narcissist?

OP posts:
Meadowfinch · 12/04/2025 07:50

A guess.

When you told him you were pregnant, he started seeing someone else. Were you a bit sick/poorly? Now she's dumped him and he wants back for readily available sex.

The demands around the baby are him trying to control you. I suggest you ignore him. Don't react in any way. It is up to you how much you tell him about your medical care. You don't need to tell him anything until your baby is born. I strongly suggest you don't tell him your due date or where you will be having the baby unless you want him as a birth partner, and he's unreliable to say the least.

You could set up a co-parenting app now. Get him used to communicating via that.

He is NOT entitled to 50% of the baby. Funnily enough babies don't split down the middle. He is responsible for 50% of your child's costs and care. He needs to understand that parenting is a long slow process that requires calm, reason, patience and compromise. He doesn't sound mature enough to be able to manage that.

My ex, in the end, pays his share, but has never managed more than 6 hours access a week, and even then only after my DS was toilet trained and could use a knife and fork. He tried all the bullying and blackmail as well, tried to starve us back. It didn't work. Stay calm and focus on care for yourself and your baby.

Original poster
Lookingforadvice101234 · 12/04/2025 15:18

Meadowfinch · 12/04/2025 07:50

A guess.

When you told him you were pregnant, he started seeing someone else. Were you a bit sick/poorly? Now she's dumped him and he wants back for readily available sex.

The demands around the baby are him trying to control you. I suggest you ignore him. Don't react in any way. It is up to you how much you tell him about your medical care. You don't need to tell him anything until your baby is born. I strongly suggest you don't tell him your due date or where you will be having the baby unless you want him as a birth partner, and he's unreliable to say the least.

You could set up a co-parenting app now. Get him used to communicating via that.

He is NOT entitled to 50% of the baby. Funnily enough babies don't split down the middle. He is responsible for 50% of your child's costs and care. He needs to understand that parenting is a long slow process that requires calm, reason, patience and compromise. He doesn't sound mature enough to be able to manage that.

My ex, in the end, pays his share, but has never managed more than 6 hours access a week, and even then only after my DS was toilet trained and could use a knife and fork. He tried all the bullying and blackmail as well, tried to starve us back. It didn't work. Stay calm and focus on care for yourself and your baby.

Edited

This is something I never considered, but you could be right. First 12 weeks of my pregnancy I suffered terribly with my sickness and was barely able to do anything. And it was at the end of 12 weeks he broke up with me. He has been very demanding about coming to scans which I am not comfortable with because of how he has behaved.
thankyou for the reassurance- I have felt so stressed about this. I don’t plan on having him anywhere near me at the birth. Do you have any other advice for when the baby is born? I appreciate what you’ve said so far it has been very useful.

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