I recently found out I am pregnant again after a horrendous loss/miscarriage last year that involved surgery, trauma and fear for future conception/fertility. I have a DD who had just turned one at the time of all this. As you can imagine this pregnancy has brought panic and fear rather than any excitement yet. My OH had asked me to tell my mum so we had someone who was aware of the situation. I really didn’t want to because I know how she can be and but I thought about it decided to tell my mum very very early for an extra person for support/reassurance and bring some positivity (I thought) whilst we waited for some bloods and early scans and me panicking for the absolute worst.
My mum rolled her eyes and was not happy or pleased for us at all. Not a smile or hug or anything. You may think I was shocked but I wasn’t. She started telling me how the age gap will be too small, I should have waited the same amount of time she did for a bigger age gap, how it’s obviously been planned because of the last ‘mistake’. A lot of mean, negative comments were made and I asked her why she was being negative. I felt like I was going mad or being oversensitive when she said she didn’t understand how anything she had said was negative. I told her why I had to let her know early and my worries but it was literally shrugged off with the fact that I’ve already had a child so obviously I could have another.
She never reacts with excitement to any big life moments and it’s very much all about her opinions and feelings. I didn’t get a congratulations or acknowledgment when I was engaged. She never checked on me last year when I’d had the loss or acknowledged how traumatic that was.
I think I just expected people would be so happy for us after everything but my mum always reacts like this. Why??