I’m 8 months pregnant. And will be a single mother. I knew I could get pregnant while unmarried and in a new relationship and still did it because I wanted a child. I’m now in an awful situation and don’t know what to do.
I had a long unhealthy relationship when younger. Did everything from therapy to meditation to reading several books to fix it. Moved countries. Really tried to work on myself.
Was getting old (38) and desperate to find someone and have a child. Went on many many dates. Finally found someone - was somewhat good. I was very insecure though and wanted things to move faster and would lash out. He kept stringing me along but did nothing about it and wasn’t honest about his intentions. He liked me but my insecurity and need for more was driving him away. I wasn’t on the pill and asked him to use protection - he first used a condom but then only wanted to use the pull out method and then just rely on when I’d be fertile as tracking. I never misled him about taking any precautions as I wanted a child so badly.
I wasn’t the perfect partner and he ended things one day. I found out the next day I was pregnant. I told him and we made up. He then dragged his feet about getting married and next steps. fast forward months, things fell apart as he was worried about assets if we married. He and his family are convinced I orchestrated it all and are highly suspicious. Want me to just have a baby but not have him be liable to me for anything.
that would be fine but I live in this country alone. My family is in the states and so once I have the baby here, he won’t allow me to leave. So I recently told him I’ll move back to my family. He freaked out as he’ll lose all control then and wants to get married but with a prenup that gives me nothing much. I’m worried we’ll marry, he’ll divorce me and get equal custody of the kid. They do not care about me at all. I just want to run away. I feel bad doing so but the risk is too high for me. He says he wants to make it work and
will be a good husband but how can I trust him?
the risk of being alone in this country forever if he leaves me and enter into custody battles is too high. But so is running away and doing it all by myself. What will I tell people?
have i made a mess of my life? What should i do? I keep thinking there is a 50 pct chance it’ll all work out if i stay and I and baby will miss out on a full family.