Vagina different - 6 months pregnant

[Motherof1and2dogs]

I am really embarrassed to be writing this post but it’s upset me a bit and I just can’t get it off my mind and need some reassurance. So my husband doesn’t like to have sex while I am pregnant, it totally freaks him out with the baby being there, today was the first time in about 3 months, I think it was just a one off and won’t be happening again!
he told me it feels so different down there, a lot bigger and even said it felt like nothing, he described it as a sock 😂😅 I did laugh but I am also mortified! He did say it’s probably because everything is changing and getting ready for baby but surely not this early on?!

I have been experiencing swelling down below, a bit of discomfort towards the end of the day, most likely from picking up my toddler, still being very active etc, so I am wondering if it is my pelvic floors and I need to work on it.

My question is, does it bounce back eventually after baby is born? I am so worried that it’s going to remain as he described and sex will never be the same and also affect my self esteem. I never had this with my first born.

Tell him to take his 3" elsewhere then 🙄 what a nasty piece of work.

He’s being absolutely ridiculous. Your vagina hasn’t gotten “bigger” at 6 months pregnant. That’s complete nonsense.
Why are you with a man who would try to humiliate you during the most intimate act two humans can do with each other? He sounds like an immature misogynist.

Sorry @OP but that's a pretty rotten thing to say- it's your body and it's changing, it's not a joke.

Is everything alright with the two of you generally? It does sound like he's being hurtful, is he trying to just put you off sex for the rest of the pregnancy? It would put my off it for way beyond that tbh.

I really wouldn't worry big picture. There's no harm in getting the NHS Squeezy app and working on your pelvic floor if you don't already (I'm 5 months and need to start 😏) but really it sounds like a him thing, not a you thing.

You likely have more bloodflow/therefore natural swelling to the area than usual. It will go back to normal. Also potentially more a psychological thing he has. Pregnancy makes some people squeamish.

All I can think is baby pushing down on vagina makes it open more?
The loose feeling is caused by the birth
He definitely shouldn’t have said anything though

Yeah he’s full of shit, the vagina does not get bigger or looser during pregnancy. He’s either lying as he doesn’t want to shag and is putting the blame on you so he doesn’t have to look like the immature bad guy, or he is an idiot who doesn’t understand basic biology. Have you tried drawing him a picture with crayons of how the female reproductive system works so he can learn that it’s impossible for him to ‘hurt’ or even come anywhere near the baby?

If anything, it'll be the hormone relaxin, which causes ligaments etc to loosen and relax in preparation for childbirth. However it's not localised to the vagina and birth canal etc, which is why people's noses swell, they have round ligament pain and why pregnant women shouldn't be lifting heavy things - the ligaments create weakness which could cause injuries you wouldn't otherwise get if you were not pregnant.

So AT MOST a woman's vagina will stretch to accommodate more, which could feel different, but given that most pregnant women are still able to enjoy a sex life if they want to and OP's husband's has psychological issues around sex with a pregnant woman, I'd feel pretty confident betting that he just said something hurtful to try and put her off making a move on him in the future.

Sorry he said that to you...

He is completely and utterly full of shit. I'm 6 months and not a damn thing has changed. Tell him to take his micropeen elsewhere

It can feel more swollen - there's greater blood flow (which can also make it more sensitive/ pleasurable for you). I'd agree with others that it sounds like he's just put off generally by pregnancy which my ex was too, he got very wierded out by it and also said about worrying about the baby getting hurt even though that's not possible.

Give it a couple of days and go back to him and tell him you’ve spoken with your midwife and they’ve checked you over and you’re absolutely fine.. if anything then then blood flow down there has made it a bit tighter but tell him that she said that he should get him self checked as shrinking penis syndrome is a real thing at the moment 🤷🏻‍♀️ please please please.. when you’ve had this baby and everything is back to normal, just have sex with him and ask him if he has put it in yet.. just for fun!

Agree with PPs that he's just trying to come up with excuses not to have sex, but has done so in a hurtful and horrible way. If my DH said that to me, it would put me off having sex with him far beyond pregnancy tbh. There will be absolutely nothing wrong or noticeably different with your vagina! We haven't been especially sexually active in pregnancy, not because of the baby; we're just both VERY tired due to us both working busy jobs, me being physically tired from pregnancy and him from having to pick up more domestic tasks as I get less able to do things. On the rare occasions we've done it, it's felt no different to pre-pregnancy.

I think you need to tell him how upsetting and disrespectful you found his comments. It's actually a really disgusting thing to say to the woman carrying his child and he's trying to pass the burden of not wanting sex onto you. Whilst I fully agree that anyone shouldn't feel pressured into having sex if they don't want to, there are better and kinder ways of handling it given this situation.

I do think you should pick him up on his cruel comment OP. It's a really unacceptable way to speak to someone you love, not least someone who is carrying your precious baby. Your emotions will be all over the place right now and you need care and support, not disgusting infantile comments.

More blood flow (= can feel swollen) and more discharge (= more natural lubricant) are normal changes at 6 months pregnant. Your cervix also changes during pregnancy. He’s probably just misinterpreting those differences because he’s freaked out by the idea of having sex while you’re pregnant.