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Original poster

Crippling loneliness

2 replies

sotired11 · 01/04/2025 14:16

me and my partner been waiting 8 years for this pregnancy now it is here just not what I expected he seems so be more busy barley speaks about it seems moody I feel so lonely he is the only person I really have I just keep getting false promises of doing things and we never do defiantly was not like this before the pregnancy. Feel so lonely some days just sit here and cry I spoke to him about it he said we could go for food he didn’t plan anywhere then got moody i ended up cooking which is fine but I was looking forward for time for us. He has to work a lot which is understandable but when he is home he is doing things for himself just not acknowledging me on the iPad I feel so lonely not sure what to do I have BPD which makes this worse.

OP posts:
Nope2024 · 01/04/2025 19:23

Hi OP, I don't really have any advice but didn't want to read and run. ❤️

I'm so sorry you're going through this. You deserve not to feel lonely and you definitely shouldn't be going through this on your own. How far along are you?

Is it possible your partner's struggling now that the baby is so close? It's frustrating but sounds like this is something going on with him rather than you. It sounds a bit like it's just hit him what this entails. He should be there for you but this may be difficult if he's feeling overwhelmed.

(Of course, he could just be a dick - I'm not making excuses for him. He clearly doesn't know how lucky he is if he can't look up from an iPad to talk to you.)

I'd try and talk to him again, explain that you feel like he's mentally checked out of the relationship and you feel stuck. I'd try to avoid blaming and emphasise that you're struggling to cope with doing this on your own. (Which is totally reasonable!!)

Please be kind to yourself ❤️ Have you spoken to your midwife? Is there someone at work you can chat to, or a neighbour? Anyone on his side of the family?

On a side note, have you got anything you do just for you? Like going for a short walk, reading, anything like that? Something positive you can do on your own. It obviously won't fix anything but your mind may be clearer after half an hour of walking outside in the fresh air. xx

Original poster
sotired11 · 01/04/2025 20:22

Nope2024 · 01/04/2025 19:23

Hi OP, I don't really have any advice but didn't want to read and run. ❤️

I'm so sorry you're going through this. You deserve not to feel lonely and you definitely shouldn't be going through this on your own. How far along are you?

Is it possible your partner's struggling now that the baby is so close? It's frustrating but sounds like this is something going on with him rather than you. It sounds a bit like it's just hit him what this entails. He should be there for you but this may be difficult if he's feeling overwhelmed.

(Of course, he could just be a dick - I'm not making excuses for him. He clearly doesn't know how lucky he is if he can't look up from an iPad to talk to you.)

I'd try and talk to him again, explain that you feel like he's mentally checked out of the relationship and you feel stuck. I'd try to avoid blaming and emphasise that you're struggling to cope with doing this on your own. (Which is totally reasonable!!)

Please be kind to yourself ❤️ Have you spoken to your midwife? Is there someone at work you can chat to, or a neighbour? Anyone on his side of the family?

On a side note, have you got anything you do just for you? Like going for a short walk, reading, anything like that? Something positive you can do on your own. It obviously won't fix anything but your mind may be clearer after half an hour of walking outside in the fresh air. xx

Edited

Hi I am 14 weeks along he just says he is working g hard for me baby and his son which I understand but I just feel so alone literally comes home eats sleeps goes I do work and have a side business and a daughter who is a teenager so I do have other stuff going on but I just sound like his support I had my driving lessons today said good luck but didn’t really acknowledge me and was not responding to me when I was talking like he was lost on the device I don’t have a lot of people around especially who I trust so it is just him and my daughter Xx

OP posts:
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