9 weeks and neding to already consider childcare!

[honeyjean]

Hi all,

9 weeks pregnant with our first (due early Nov), positive scan last weekend (fingers crossed!). Nursery places seem tough locally (friends' experiences), and family support isn't an option (2+ hours away). Nursery is essential as I'm the main earner and need to return to work by 10 months which should be Sept 2026.

Local nursery opposite advised registering soon due to filling places for our likely start date - I've mentioned I will post-12 week scan. We're aiming for 3 nursery days and both want to reduce to 4-day weeks. My work is flexible, partner's (engineer) might be trickier.
We'd like my partner's 4-day week (either day off or compressed hours - unsure which to suggest) to start in the new year to support me and baby. We're also planning shared parental leave: I'd do a phased return from June, then partner off June-Sept.

Feeling overwhelmed thinking about this so early!

Key questions:
When should partner submit flexible working request (for Jan start)? After 12-week scan even though nothing is guaranteed, or later?

When should we start discussing shared parental leave with employers?

Can we just register with nursery but fix days/dates closer to the time?

Any advice on timing for these discussions or success stories would be great! Thanks.

I'm 28 weeks and have had to start thinking about this, too, as waiting times near me are about a year. 🫣

Can't help with all your questions, but fyi that some of the nurseries I've spoken to so far wanted to know exact days e.g. Mon/Tues/Weds, some want maximum number of days which can be worked out later.

Best thing to do is to call the nursery because they all do things differently.

I'm just sorting my maternity leave and verbally getting agreement for when I can take my extra annual leave accrued from maternity leave (e.g. one day a week over the year), arranging my compressed hours. Then will register with a nursery, hopefully before I have the baby, and then can relax.

Heads up that two nurseries I spoke to wanted to wanted me to pay a retainer fee to keep my nursery place - so register now, pay a deposit and a weekly fee which is deducted when child leaves nursery. No refund if the nursery goes bust, closes or moves. 😬

Hello

We were told to put down the maximum number of days we might need at nursery (which could be 5 for you as your flexible working requests aren’t approved). Then we were allowed to change (reduce) our days and start date once before baby started at nursery, giving a
couple of months notice. We also had to pay a registration fee (about £100)

It's crazy - I honestly thought I was being ridiculous messaging them so early but glad I did! I'm going to wait a few more weeks for my scan to be out the way and then I'll pop in. Desperate to get a place there as it's pretty much opposite our house so would be super easy to fit around work as I WFH most of the week.

That is nuts about the weekly fee! Paying for a baby that is not even here yet - mad!

Thanks for the heads up! I think I will put down 5 days - more so because whilst I know my company are fine with reducing hours I'm not sure about days and at least that's one less thing to have to stress about