I’m wondering if you can help me. My partner has just called me a bitch and every 4 weeks we have these ginormous arguments that end with me in tears and him angry at me for “putting my priorities first.”
some context, I’m due on Wednesday. My first child and I’m equally excited and nervous. Am 41 and have always wanted to be a mum. We’ve been together 5 years. He has two children aged 8&11 and I moved in about 2 years ago after living on my own most my life. I’ve moved into his house which is 3 doors down from his ex. We see the girls every Monday and every other weekend and I have a good relationship with them and make every effort to be a support as much as I can.
I’ve had a good career and relatively successful, independent and been used to being on my own before we met. I’ve sacrificed a lot to be with him but I made those choices. Since I moved in he’s grown to resent the fact that I’ve had this previous life and not given all of it up (I have an active hobby). Long story short, I’m now on mat leave and have been preparing the baby’s room which will be shared with the 8 yo (who always sleeps in a bunk with her sister in her room. but the room is still hers). We had new fitted wardrobes and I wanted to “nest” to make the room as perfect for both the 8 yo and the baby.
my partner cannot finish a job - the house has been his pet project and everything is half completed. It’s driven me nuts. He’s untidy, disorganised and I’ve tried to talk to him. He doesn’t open post, and it’s the opposite of how I am - or used to be, but have been sapped into his world of chaos. I’ve put some of the 8 yo’s clothes on Vinted (I told him as they’re too small for her now) and some of the others I threw out today with old colouring books, a 2024 calendar and a broken picture frame and a lampshade which has been unused sitting in a cupboard for 2 years. Our bins get collected daily and someone was rummaging around the bags when he got back from work and was livid I’d thrown away these things. He’s just come into the house calling me a bitch and gone to sleep in the 11 yo’s room.
i Have locked the door to the bedroom. He’s never been violent to me but his words are often horrendous. I make a note every time he makes me cry which is more days than not each month and I am so scared with having this baby. He never listens to my side of the story - in this case it’s simply the clothes I threw away I couldn’t put on Vinted as they’re cheap or ruined or just crappy and with the light shade fine maybe I shouldn’t have done that but it’s been in a cupboard for two years unused!!!
i moved out of my beautiful home of 15 years and wanted to try and put my mark on this one room but I worry about next week so much and the birth and how to resolve this. He never listens to my side and just shouts at me.
please help! Xxx